tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1662023579751614162024-03-05T16:24:25.537-05:00Running in Stilettosjust random things i think and encounter while running through life. . .in stilettos, of course ;)there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-91448546403904912232009-04-22T22:05:00.004-04:002009-04-23T11:28:57.100-04:00movie comment--american violet *spoiler alert*<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBvX_Nuozgtza563NB0EFttL7DSvR5GOC9u7wtqSXeHldQx-z8a0v_RfS1UBYfIjLqTf4UcRHhOcXoMTwHsrJDaZPQdRAhEAQnFML11lhaZVtaYBiUmn9SAM1Q7sY67wVsHgneIphQG0w/s1600-h/american_violet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBvX_Nuozgtza563NB0EFttL7DSvR5GOC9u7wtqSXeHldQx-z8a0v_RfS1UBYfIjLqTf4UcRHhOcXoMTwHsrJDaZPQdRAhEAQnFML11lhaZVtaYBiUmn9SAM1Q7sY67wVsHgneIphQG0w/s320/american_violet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327710872783975762" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><i>this part is from an email i got:<br />American Violet</i> tells the amazing story of a young, single mother swept up in an unjust, out-of-control drug raid that targets the Black community in a small town in Texas. The film is based on true events and it examines how our country's drug laws and enforcement practices target African-Americans, and how the justice system uses threats and intimidation to steer people towards guilty pleas, regardless of their innocence or the evidence against them.<br /></span></span><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:85%;">The film is inspired by the real life story of Regina Kelly, an African-American, single mother of four girls who was arrested in 2000 in a military-style drug raid. The raid resulted in the arrest of nearly 15% of the town's young Black male population for felony cocaine distribution. Kelly was innocent. Her name, along with the names of many others arrested (nearly all African-American), were given to police by a single, highly unreliable informant with personal reasons to antagonize her. Despite Kelly's innocence, she was urged to plead guilty by her family and even her public defender so that she could return to her children and receive a minimal sentence. A felony conviction, however, would have resulted in the loss of her right to vote and the public assistance programs on which her family depended, not to mention the tainting of her personal reputation and her ability to obtain employment. She chose to maintain her plea of not guilty. <i>American Violet</i> tells the story of her fight for justice. </span></span><br /><br />now. for my comment :)<br />okay, so i loved this movie for a few reasons:<br /><ul><li>this is the kind of thing that inspired me to do what i do. fighting the system is a very david and goliath type showdown, which makes it that much sweeter when you win. i hope this movie will inspire other people to pick up their stones and slingshots. . .you don't have to think in victim language.</li><li>in the same vein, i liked this movie because it showed the side of the aclu i like. admittedly, i have a love/hate relationship with the aclu (american civil liberties union). they feel that cases about rights like those at issue here are equal to cases about the kkk's right to freedom of speech/expression--they don't do a balancing act when it comes to the effect of the rights they're protecting. i don't like this because it implies that there are not structural deficiencies in this country's 'rights' system. like all of us have had the same access to our rights for the same amount of time, and like some 'freedom of speech' is nothing more than a terror tactic and actually infringes on other people's rights and is nothing more than oppression itself. . .<br /></li><li>it is educational (and coonery free). it talks about an issue that we seem to overlook in our communities. for some reason we are quick to shun those of us who are 'convicted felons' as if we forget how messed up the system is. <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">90%</span></span> of the 2.3 million people in jail are there as a result of a plea bargain--meaning they never went to trial and were never found guilty. and you know how easy it is to convince a scared, oppressed, innocent person to plead guilty to something just so they can go home/have a reduced sentence? they are thinking that if they could get arrested and they're innocent, they could also get convicted, apply some pressure and mind games . . .and bingo! instant win for the prosecutor and innocent person's life is forever changed.</li><li>it doesn't glamorize the reality--the evil, racist, inept, vengeful district attorney who was the one causing the problems for this town was re-elected, despite the turnout of this case. it shows that everyone doesn't appreciate justice the way some people do, it shows that there's a reason the status quo exists. we shouldn't be discouraged, we should be appalled and fight harder. . .</li><li>it also showed that there are a lot of factors that go into someone accepting a plea bargain, such as pressure from their families--their families know how to hit where it hurts in terms of persuasiveness, and sometimes that is enough to do away with the little fight the defendant has. this is just another manifestation of the short-sightedness/instant gratification problem that plagues our community a classic dialogue in the movie was (this is me paraphrasing after only seeing it once, sorry. lol):<br /></li></ul> dee: "but momma, didn't you always say the truth shall set you free?"<br /> momma: "girl that's for the afterlife. . .for the here and now you better take that plea"<br /><ul><li>it also shows a side of black america that people may have wanted to forget now that our beloved president is in office. this case took place in 2002, but things like this are still happening. i cannot miss this moment to drive home the fact that "the dream" has not been realized just bc we have a black first family. the reality for too many people is that their communities are suffering from institutional, pervasive racism. poor black people are still targets. and contrary to what tyler perry may lead to you believe, a good man, some preaching and violent gestures from a man in a dress don't solve all the problems black women face. . .</li></ul>and it wouldn't be me if i didn't add some of my random observations:<br /><ul><li>why did the black attorney spend most of the movie looking like a scared run away slave?? i was too through with him. it's a good thing he redeemed himself at the end :)</li><li>i ♥ alfre woodard as a mother. i mean, she is great as a sanaa lathan mommy, but i just love her in any role where she gets to get a mommy attitude with her daughter. lol</li><li>the main actress was such a good casting decision. she was touching and convincing. i hope we get to see more of her (hopefully in a movie where she can wear cuter clothes)<br /></li><li>and of course i loved the little girls, they were so cute and that oldest one was super convincing too (and did a good job of showing who suffers the most from these kinds of things)</li><li>exzibit (sp?) as an actor. . .hmmm. he did pretty well. i'm not sure how much of a stretch the character was for him. maybe he was just that good that it seemed natural (glad he got rid of the cornrows tho. lol)<br /></li></ul>anyway, please please see this movie. it is so worth your support. be prepared to woosah (i had my fists clinched a few times), but also be prepared to have a paradigm shift if this is your first real exposure to this issue. oh, and bc i went to the movie with a non lawyer i know that there may be a vocabulary lesson in store for some of you. lolthere she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-79055274481623608562009-03-09T19:47:00.005-04:002009-03-25T12:46:55.891-04:00candy girls--nothing sweet<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5YTUqssIhyPMI-E6E4-MKV1GlUlM5vjTpjGoyxLG3Kp5WsN5zRuYqeaQEZj0rmsRWAHujG3xnioXIoMY-YTFqwbFIWY9uQ9DLvqyNVE9zwtLNOesQkNsf0hjJAqt_zExwCMAq3uAY4Ik/s1600-h/candygirlscast.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5YTUqssIhyPMI-E6E4-MKV1GlUlM5vjTpjGoyxLG3Kp5WsN5zRuYqeaQEZj0rmsRWAHujG3xnioXIoMY-YTFqwbFIWY9uQ9DLvqyNVE9zwtLNOesQkNsf0hjJAqt_zExwCMAq3uAY4Ik/s320/candygirlscast.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311348062395082514" border="0" /></a><br />so. i had seen commercials for this show and i was immediately ready to write it off. it's supposed to profile the 'glamorous lives of those in the industry' aka video girls. okay, anyone who knows anything about the industry knows that life as a video girl is anything but glamorous. even if you 'make it' a la superhead and are treated like the recycling rather than straight garbage, life is rough. that is not a stable living, even with an agency. i would venture to guess most of these girls are waitresses or something on the side. there is no way you can support yourself as a career video girl--there just aren't that many videos and they don't pay that much! if they consider themselves glamorous bc they get to vie for the attention of random rappers up close and personal ('i got to sleep with so and so!') then they can have that, but don't try to make people think that life as a video girl is 1) glamorous 2) anything to aspire toward.<br />let me talk about the show. the show is based on this woman danielle and her 'agency' called candy girls (let it not escape you that wikipedia's entry for candy girls says 'a line of sex dolls manufactured by orient industries). the other women in the cast are danielle's go-to makeup lady/stylist, who seems to lack personal style (she is tyson beckford's baby momma--hmm. i didn't think tyson was straight), some woman who wasn't in the first show and then the video girls. there is brooke, terrica, olivia, and blanca. i was hesitant to use this picture for this post bc these girls look *nothing* like these pics. they are average at best for the most part (olivia and brooke are pretty girls) but somehow think they are god's gift to tv. we know there's room for average girls in video girl world *if* you are thick (ie. we'll put you in the video but won't show your face unless it's a quick flash, in the dark, or a silhouette) but these girls are none of that. they are all pretty skinny and need lots of makeup to look any better than that woman you just passed on the street.<br />the dialogue on the show made me cringe from embarrassment. i knew it would be scripted and fake. i did not know it would be soooo embarrassing! first of all, this little olivia girl is just painful to watch. if she is that naive and sheltered, she need not be on this show. we are supposed to believe she was at ucla and she is trying to be an actress by exposing herself to 'the industry' as a video girl. a few problems: she is shy, naive, and her attempt at acting--fail. how are you going to be a shy video girl??<br />then it went straight to stereotypes--the darker skinned girls were the attitudinal ones from the jump, the lighter skinned girls were the sweet innocent ones. i don't even want to mention how if blanca was as funny looking as she is but brown she wouldn't be considered beautiful, attractive, or whatever else we're supposed to think they are. terrica's attitude almost cost her her job as she took the attitudinal black b**** thing to a whole new level. and she is just mean for no reason but is a mother (ps-where is her daughter while she's supposed to be living in this house?).<br />oh and then we're led to believe that it is a rite of passage for minority women to go to jail/be arrested as the group scoffs at olivia for not ever having been arrested. it was almost too much to bear.<br />i don't know where they're going from here, but you can pretty much count me out.<br />overall impression: womp, wompthere she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-27855033761621691612009-03-05T12:39:00.005-05:002009-03-05T14:29:35.213-05:00good girls and t.i.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSUnuQPSv9tbQ6Jkydg36xZW5aUgS87N5O350LOf6tkWZRJV5IrhN9M-73epAkaAaE3zyFgVGzJm0LzF4uvxDq_qdJeB_wO-rpyCYsFcLIm4hMpYYxSIjy2qiHhJPiCVxqdsPF9UsKfU4/s1600-h/TI_bio_image.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSUnuQPSv9tbQ6Jkydg36xZW5aUgS87N5O350LOf6tkWZRJV5IrhN9M-73epAkaAaE3zyFgVGzJm0LzF4uvxDq_qdJeB_wO-rpyCYsFcLIm4hMpYYxSIjy2qiHhJPiCVxqdsPF9UsKfU4/s320/TI_bio_image.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309761969268686674" border="0" /></a><br />since my last guilty crush ended up being a woman beater, thus taking away some of the qualities that made me like him to begin with, i thought i'd share another guilty crush. i was just listening to one of my new favorite 'hood songs'--'ain't i' by (insert random rapper(s) here) feat t.i. his lil verse just makes the song for me. lol. anyway, it made me think about how much i like t.i.! but i'd like to think it's a little more than the 'good girls like bad boys' thing. i mean, he's not *that* bad, is he?? lol<br />we all know his 'flow is colder than february' but i really think it's his 'extraordinary swag' that does it for me. he is sooo little and scrawny, he has a tribe of children by various women (he even has two kids who are the same age--who aren't twins! lol), and he is headed for jail in about 22 days. . .but i have a thing for him. lol.<br />actually, it has to be the swag. he is cool calm and collected, nice to look at (boy does he clean up well), and he has that thug appeal that women like (regardless of whether they will admit it or not), and when he speaks in his southern twang, he actually is saying something! it is not hard to tie together that the best rappers/lyricists are actually really intelligent people, despite what they may rap about.<br />anyway, t.i. is slightly dangerous, had enough artillery to start ww iii, and has had some shady dealings in his past. but ladies, you can't tell me that when you see him in a suit, doing that thing with his eyebrow, that thing with his lips, or when he laughs/cracks a smile. . .it doesn't make you feel a certain way ;)there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-43138293828173544282009-03-02T15:49:00.009-05:002009-03-03T14:23:03.704-05:00confession: a drama in 4 acts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhefaEDnIhHQ1Wy6HYoV1pWbwN4yzhKnucFqlEUFTdiZc46I_A-fMomFabIpetGBIUHIxePKGNcxfA9iBUEjI4KZrVsmfb13tIEytIaQL7IBCmAOZZA32knQVwcIk2EF7LxTFG-o-1dg2Q/s1600-h/02182009.nypost.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhefaEDnIhHQ1Wy6HYoV1pWbwN4yzhKnucFqlEUFTdiZc46I_A-fMomFabIpetGBIUHIxePKGNcxfA9iBUEjI4KZrVsmfb13tIEytIaQL7IBCmAOZZA32knQVwcIk2EF7LxTFG-o-1dg2Q/s320/02182009.nypost.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308753642431317874" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">curtain rises</span>
<br />okay, so. if you know me, you know my arm can get tired from a lot of things, but never from raising my black power fist. i fight the good fight for a living and when i say i love my people, i strongly believe love is an action word. making life better for us is a passion of mine. however, i just got (another) email from the naacp that made me feel i had to come out of the closet on this issue. as you know, on february 18 this delonas character drew this cartoon for the ny post. the outcry has been tremendous to say the least and i have to say. . .i feel some kinda way about it.
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<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">act 1: what i feel you need to be able to understand this cartoon</span>
<br /><ul><li>a monkey is used to symbolize, among other things, a creature lacking in intelligence. e.g. the classic american idiom 'a monkey could do your job'. . .certain people have been likening dubya to a monkey for 8 years.
<br /></li><li>a very large stimulus bill was recently passed. nancy pelosi and other members of congress <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123422399517965573.html">wrote the bill</a>--it has undergone editing and revisions in order to be passed. president obama signed the bill on february 10.
<br /></li><li>conservatives widely disagree with the stimulus bill for one reason or another. some conservative governors have even said they wouldn't take the money allocated to their respective states as a sign of protest</li><li>the new york post is a conservative newspaper</li><li>on february 16, police in stamford, connecticut <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/16/chimp.attack/">shot and killed a chimpanzee</a> that mauled a woman. his owner kept him as a pet/child and even admitted to giving him xanax on occasion </li></ul>if you put all of this together it = the author of the cartoon is a conservative, he thinks the stimulus bill is stupid and was written by a stupid person/persons. coincidentally and unrelatedly (unless you're a cartoonist who makes money off of depicting current events tied together in a way that no one else really thinks of as related), a monkey was recently shot and killed by police. he makes a cartoon. it is not the first one he has done that shows someone getting shot, that criticizes the stimulus bill using unrelated current events and/or animals (see post cartoons from <a href="http://www.nypost.com/delonas/delonas.htm">feb 5 and 11</a>) whether it is "funny" is debateable; but i don't see where race enters the picture. . .this is where i diverge from the outcry and collective 'we'.
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<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">act 2: the naacp, et al</span>
<br />the naacp turned 100 this year. true to its name, it has advanced the plight of colored people in this country for 100 years. i respect it as an organization, even though i know some of its dirty little secrets and things it uses to execute what it feels is the most effective strategy. however, when i got the second in a series of emails about this topic, it infuriated me. in relevant part:
<br />
<br /><blockquote>as roger vann, our senior vp of field operations and membership, explained, the racist cartoon "outraged our members by comparing african americans to primates. and it sullied police officers at a time when many communities are torn by suspicious police killings of young African American men."</blockquote>
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<br />i mean, if any one person should be offended by this cartoon it should be nancy pelosi--but i'm sure even she wouldn't take offense as she knows she is not the only one responsible for this bill. rather than the chimp representing one person, it likely represents the collective body responsible for what the conservative author considers a 'dumb' bill--and from what i can tell, he has no problem blaming all the congressional dems.
<br />why do i single out the naacp? because they are quiet about too many other things and this time their 'strategy' card is showing. i know the naacp isn't as upset about this cartoon as it is seizing the opportunity to get at ol' rupert and faux news. but the timing is bad. it makes me mad bc they have been oh so quiet about billey joe johnson (have you even heard of him? the superstar 16 year old who supposedly shot and killed himself with a shotgun during a routine traffic stop--it was ruled a suicide and the gunpowder on the police officer's fingers? oh that was just from him handling his service gun earlier in the morning. right.) and i'm sure you won't hear anything from them about the 15 year old girl who got <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl67FmVRjYs&eurl=http://www.mediatakeout.com/2009/31030-oh_my_15_year_old_girl_brutally_beaten_by_police__and_its_caught_on_tape.html&feature=player_embedded">beat up</a> in that holding cell in seattle (the deputy is on paid administrative leave bc, you know, sometimes you have to brutally beat up a defenseless 15 year old girl--let's give him a paid vacay while we wait to hear his side). there are real battles to fight, not just the ones that get press because they stem from someone with money and can get you on tv. this isn't our battle to fight. we are not always the monkey.
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">act 3: faux news and rupert murdoch</span>
<br />don't mistake this post to say that i don't believe there is MUCH room for reform and diversity at rupe's organizations. if they had more diversity on their staff, they at least would have had a stronger leg to stand on. they are guilty of doing a whole bunch of shady, institutionally racist crap. we see their media bias, their lily white producers/gate keepers, and all the other underhanded stuff they do. i wrote my honors thesis on bias in the news media and did extensive research. it needs to stop and if the naacp can change that, that's great--but this isn't the horse to latch that buggy to. you see, the key is that there is a difference between insitutional racism and traditional racism. . .you know they are too smart for the latter. the smart, rich, most threatening white people would never be so blatant as to call us monkeys to our faces. they know there's too much to lose--in private, you bet they do (and they issue quick apologies and even <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gmNEcrbsbJxE-ybLSvYRu3Ucf3WQD96JUDD80">offer to resign</a> when they're caught), but only the dumbest ones say it in in public. and they are written off as dumb almost immediately and the 'progressive white people' try to distance themselves from it. you know, they'll admit to being 'conservative' but not racist! they have like 5 black friends, you know. . .
<br />all this to say. . .rupe and faux take shots at obama, it will be less blatant than this--and trust, they will be taking shots, so watch for the hook ;)
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">act 4: my people</span>
<br />to take a line from my play godfather dr. west 'i can say this about my people because i love them'. there is a hindu proverb that says 'all change is not progress, as all movement is not forward'. this is why i get so mad at the naacp. we are in such desperate need of leaders that if we hear a rallying cry from such a venerable organization, we feel it's only right for us to join forces (i'm hearing ludacris, 'when i move you move' lol). but they need to be careful! yes, it is great when we come together to effect change and forward movement--but it needs to be progress and forward movement! we can't just be wasting energy. i fear, in situations like this, we lose credibility as being 'too sensitive'--so it makes it that much harder the next time there really is an issue. i mean, there will always be people who say black people complain too much and are too sensitive--but i for one want to make sure that i am on the side where i can say, no, this is a real issue, this isn't about me trying to promote an agenda or just get my mic turned on. this is important to me bc i do this for a living. and when the backlash from my cases comes, i like to know that i know what i'm fighting for and i'm not just whining or trying to make a point because i can.
<br />also, (in love, my people) this type of situation requires context--these are intellectual cartoons that require a knowledge of current events, and in this case, a little knowledge about legislative process. i love that we love obama and are willing to ride for him. . .when it's time. but this isn't time. of all the people implicated when one says <span style="font-weight: bold;">write </span>the stimulus bill, our beloved b-rack isn't one of them. in delonas' other cartoons you can see he clearly sees the stimulus thing as dems v. republicans. this looks like we're making an ill-informed argument--volunteering to be the monkey and grasping for straws (linking it to police brutality in our communities??) so as to build an equally weak platform. we are an angry, hurt people. . .and for good reason. but we need to channel our anger in a way that will give us credibility and make us productive. i just don't think this is it.
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">curtain closes</span>
<br />there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-39948820148615072162009-02-21T22:17:00.006-05:002009-02-21T22:50:52.517-05:00a word to the wise<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1klCHuZLZzVbgvybPa14gs60Y9mHwbqnG7SIAd1YHgisq7QoqjmHUfmSZ8ERdHRo9_z1D02qR2OIaey_PH4UDKshBAkBUciE6kiw6St7mDSOgEWhmeFUy3NN8CosI30JYTSCcGwhjEbM/s1600-h/arguing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1klCHuZLZzVbgvybPa14gs60Y9mHwbqnG7SIAd1YHgisq7QoqjmHUfmSZ8ERdHRo9_z1D02qR2OIaey_PH4UDKshBAkBUciE6kiw6St7mDSOgEWhmeFUy3NN8CosI30JYTSCcGwhjEbM/s320/arguing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5305458568706287938" border="0" /></a><br />"a wise man once told me, don't argue with fools--people from a distance can't tell who is who"<br />this is a jay z quote, but the old folks were saying it long before he was (and it kinda comes from Proverbs 26:4-5). i've always liked it--it keeps me from coming out of character quite often, and has prevented me from 'cutting up' in public when someone does something stupid. you know how you feel when you see people getting loud and going off on someone in public. . .<br />anyway, i was thinking about this earlier today/last night. for those of you who know me, you know this was a big week for me (well, thursday was a big day) david and goliath style. my victory got press coverage in the various online publications of the relevant state. i wanted to see the articles because it was like seeing myself in the paper, but i found some of the comments pretty jarring (someone even made a blog about it). it was amazing how hateful and racist some people were--they deliberately missed the point of the case so that they could espouse their racist views about any and all things dealing with black people. i left a few comments on a few of the sites, trying to clear up some of the misunderstandings and putting the decision in perspective, but when my i left my comment on a particular blog, i just knew it wouldn't be published because it didn't fit in with the racist illogical ranting of the blog's author--and i was right. he didn't want to understand the case or channel his frustrations in the right direction--he just wanted to rant.<br />so. my question is this--when does trying to educate people turn into futility and 'arguing with fools'? how do you know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em in these types of situations? sometimes it feels wrong to just walk away without saying anything. . .there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-18670268552653119942009-02-11T15:09:00.005-05:002009-02-11T16:31:04.540-05:00team chris v. team rihanna<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYjeNtL__4wxQ_tR6aRwAAgccXAlQAh8JHIRmo4qLNcTKzUTLpsteMd-7-aj8SR8IMXXngFJCjQAPtM0wfwYYauUY2Nv4z0r8hf_jD1K_BQ3_hF2oktkEZ7Y7i3cgerBLxvPkT2r66CJ8/s1600-h/chris_brown_rihanna.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYjeNtL__4wxQ_tR6aRwAAgccXAlQAh8JHIRmo4qLNcTKzUTLpsteMd-7-aj8SR8IMXXngFJCjQAPtM0wfwYYauUY2Nv4z0r8hf_jD1K_BQ3_hF2oktkEZ7Y7i3cgerBLxvPkT2r66CJ8/s320/chris_brown_rihanna.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301651855459507314" border="0" /></a><br />so i was listening to my ipod and 'with u' came on. . .the debut of this song marked the point where i stopped denying my grown woman crush on mr. brown. since then, everything he does is endearing and i just love watching him in videos and pics and stuff. . .even the pics with rihanna (i know some people didn't like them together--or like him with anyone for that matter. lol. but i thought they were cute together).<br />now comes this weekend. people say rihanna looks like she was in a boxing match. . .with her hands tied behind her back. i even heard one report that said he choked her and threatened to kill her and she passed out. . .which is when the police found her and drove her to the hospital (she evidently looked so bad that they didn't even want to wait for the ambulance to come). so of course everyone wants to know what they were arguing about that would make our sweet little chris turn into such a (alleged) monster--i mean, really, we would have been shocked if someone had said they saw him grab her or shake her or something, but now we have bruises, bite marks, black eyes, bloodied nose, busted lip. it's almost too incredulous to believe, especially coming from someone who seemed so. . .clean and anger-issue free. anway, so what started all of this? i have heard a few stories:<br /><ul><li>he beat her up bc she gave him herpes. umm. i'm only mentioning this one to discredit it. i believe this rumor started bc she had that nasty looking cold sore on her lip a few weeks ago--cold sore herpes is not std herpes. plus, why would they be talking about that on the way back from a happily attended grammy party??</li><li>the (unofficial) story from his camp: she started the fight--he got a call or text message from a girl that rihanna felt he had been creeping with, she flew off the handle (they cite a story of her admitting to smashing glass in her brother's face as evidence of her anger issues) and started hitting chris while he was driving and he reacted in self defense. . .okay, i can semi-buy this story, except her injuries are SO severe that they're going to have to come up with something else bc that is clearly more than self defense.</li><li>the (unofficial) story from her camp: he got a text from the aforementioned jump off talking about hooking up later, things blow up, she gets mad she takes the keys to the rented lambo and throws them out the window and he can't find them so he goes ballistic and we get battered and bruised rihanna</li></ul>of course the story is still developing, there have been no official statements released, chris is in hiding with his family who says he is not violent. her friends are saying they noticed bruises on her neck in december and when asked about them she said 'we broke up again'. we know chris has talked about watching his step father beat his mother when he was younger and how that affected him. it's all just a big mess and all the confusion surrounding the details is to be expected. . .but it is a little suprising the way people are choosing sides. i think this will force us to have a convo about a topic that isn't really talked about in the light for black people--domestic violence. for some reason, we insist on acting like this isn't a problem for the black community--i don't know if it's because our men deal with so much that we think we're supposed to take it when they take their frustrations out on us, that we feel love has to hurt sometimes, or if the 'strong black woman' thing means we grin and bear it for the sake of the kids, not sending him to jail, the good times, etc.<br />it's true that people let celebrity trump the issue when it comes to criminal acts--many devoted fans just want their beloved star to be okay and to triumph over 'adversity' without really looking at the actual 'adversity' and what the star may have done to cause it. so i guess it's not puzzling that chris' fans are all up in arms trying to defend him--i mean, <span style="font-style: italic;">rihanna </span>is the one getting hate mail and messages! and people are saying 'she must have done something to set him off' . . .but really? if rihanna was your sister, mother, bff, would you think the same thing? would it be okay that someone she was dating beat her up and left her outside for the police to 'find' her. . .and was more worried about not getting in trouble over it than what he did or whether she was ok? how disgusted and angry would you be if someone said she must've done something to deserve it and was upset that her assailant was 'going through this'?<br />then you have the other side--wrigley's had 'suspended' the chris brown commercials before the story had been news for 24 hours, jay z and kanye have both officially put him on their respective sh** lists, and radio stations are pulling his songs off the air. and there is a part of you that is like 'poor chris'. . .you don't want to see him go down like this and his career go up in smoke.<br />i'm torn. i really am. i feel like it should be easier for me to condemn him and think of him as a monster. . .bc no matter the details of <span style="font-style: italic;">why </span>it happened, the point is that it happened, right?<br />i think the jokes are insensitive (' i bet next time he says 'gimme that', she'll listen' 'i wonder if he beat her with an 'umbrella-ella -ella'') and i worry about rihanna--we all know domestic violence situations tend to be cyclical. . .the embarassment might keep her away for a while, but if cbreezy decides he wants her back and is sweet and charming, she really might go back (one celebrity who has weighed in actually said 'they'll be alright, they just need people to leave them alone'). i'm nervous that i wouldn't be surprised if she showed up at any subsequent trials sitting in his corner offering her support. if he beat her this badly this time, it was probably a gradual build up--from grabbing, to things that left bruises, to this. . .and she's gone back before.<br />i just can't be ok with that. i definitely liked chris way better than rihanna before this (i mean, he actually <span style="font-style: italic;">has </span>talent) but she is still someone's babygirl, granddaughter, sister and i feel like, i--we--should feel more protective over her. someone help me sort it out!there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-60703666242017991292009-02-05T14:17:00.005-05:002009-02-05T20:13:53.170-05:00the necessity of the hbcu<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQZxmNo0ltjONB8g6gJEipkO1r5nL_dbAvZsNfMZRhEg9srChF_ZNYQbfg6Fczj4O2JTrDuK_8R4_siNehvrngh8n8r-X82HvqBCquuXm_doo4Lra96iCP17NGUR9dAAvq7zT-vBlnNA0/s1600-h/howard-frontcover.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299436665490433778" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 244px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQZxmNo0ltjONB8g6gJEipkO1r5nL_dbAvZsNfMZRhEg9srChF_ZNYQbfg6Fczj4O2JTrDuK_8R4_siNehvrngh8n8r-X82HvqBCquuXm_doo4Lra96iCP17NGUR9dAAvq7zT-vBlnNA0/s320/howard-frontcover.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>i was given the honor of being on a panel at my beloved alma mater last night. at the end of the panel a young lady asked us, 'with all the buzz going around, saying that hbcus are unnecessary and don't prepare you for the real world, what is your opinion as to the importance of the hbcu--all of you have said the real world isn't like this'.<br />if you know me, you know this is a non-issue. . .anyone who tries to say anything negative about my alma mater gets shut down. i am so proud to have gone to howard and am glad i found my way there (wish i could go back). nonetheless, i have decided to lay out a little of my argument beyond 'that's the stupidest thing i ever heard' in response to that question:<br />1. <strong>i have not been convinced that integrated schools were the best thing for black people</strong>. part of me sincerely believes that if schools really were 'separate but equal' the black community would be in a far better place now. forcing our babies to go to schools where they were seen as inferior to be brainwashed by learning the lies that establish the 'undisputed greatness' of the united states (while glossing over those 'minor blemishes' like slavery and the trail of tears) can't really have been the best thing. it's like it was acknowledging that school wasn't good enough until we were in school with them. . .no matter what. now we have failing public school systems--because you know as soon as we tried to go to school with them they promptly enrolled their kids in private school! generations of adults battered from the battles of integration they were forced to fight as children and who are a little more disconnected from their community and culture as they strive to reach the white is right ideal. if brown v. brown of ed. could have been focused at enforcing separate but equal, who knows what black people could have accomplished by now?? instead we're left licking wounds and trying to compete with them in their 'equal' schools while dealing with the pressures of being considered unwanted and inferior and learning curriculum that makes us feel alienated and minimizes the contributions of our people. as long as they are well funded (this is the key--this is also why i'm elitist when it comes to hbcus), institutions that nurture and educate black people serve a purpose outside of curriculum related education. they create ties to the community, instill a sense of pride and obligation, and champion the race and its accomplishments in a way that is necessary to heal wounds and make us a better people. it is empowering to sit in a classroom full of smart people who look like you with a teacher who sees your sucess as tied to his/her personal success. it is hard for us to get that anywhere else. which brings me to my next point.<br />2. <strong>as 'minorities' it is hard for us to be able *not* to know how to function around white people</strong>. whether it is your doctor, your teacher, the lady at the grocery store. . .it is hard for a black person to live in a world where they never have to interact with white people, and let's not forget tv. there are soooo many shows with mainly white focuses that you can see white people in various lights--funny white person, corporate white person, white families, white singles ready to mingle, white kids, violent white people, sad white people, happy white people, rich white people, poor white people. . .the list goes on. everyday living in the united states is nothing if not a study of white people. there are still places where white people can go about their daily lives without seeing a black person except for on tv, the same cannot be said about black people encountering white people. i say all of this to say, that if the concern is that hbcu life isn't 'real life', it need not be a concern. we likely wouldn't have made it to college age if we didn't know how to function around white people to some extent. additionally, a lot of my fellow students at hu were like me and actually grew up around mostly white people and found themselves in situations where they were the only black person in a class. an hbcu education is not crippling, to the contrary, it is empowering. i feel *so* much more comfortable around white people in my own skin after going to howard. howard empowered me in a way i couldn't have imagined. it steeled my spine and anchored me to something bigger than me and my immediate family--it connected me to my community, its achievements and the idea that i *am* different and i should be proud of that. instead of trying to be 'like' the white people i encounter for fear of not 'fitting in or being accepted' i am just me. i am cultured, classy, smart, and have a lot to teach (and learn)--when i notice i am the only black person in a room of white people, i don't get nervous that they are judging me against their standards--i'm not really trying to meet their standards and i don't believe their way is the only way. i know that my being a triple threat can be threatening and i know why and i know that (to paraphrase) "when and where i enter the whole race enters with me" and that makes me powerful beyond measure. and i know, from experience, that there are thousands of people who are like me and think like me--empowered black people allll over, who are focused and saw the light while at an hbcu and refuse to go back to the darkness. it's funny that when we were fighting to be admitted to their schools, one of the court cases approving affirmative action cited the way 'they' benefitted from being around 'us' as if they had to benefit or it wouldn't be ok for us to go there--and our schools aren't good enough because there are not enough of them. i don't need to go to a special school to learn about white people or how to work with them. . .and why doesn't anyone ask if their schools prepare them to be around us??<br />3. <strong>hbcus teach and shape you like nothing else can</strong>. a lot of people 'find themselves' in college. . .at an hbcu you find yourself as you fit into the bigger puzzle of your community. you learn that is and always has been bigger than you and that if you stand tall it is because you stand on the backs of those who went before you . . .and you owe something to those who come after you. if that doesn't make you feel both powerful and humble at the same time, nothing will. an hbcu grad can deal with and interact with white people, asian people, latinos, green people, purple people, blue people because she knows who she is and what her presence means in the bigger picture, her feet are firmly planted in the ground and she is ready to grow up.<br />hbcus are important precisely because they are <em>not</em> like the real world. they serve an important purpose that the real world doesn't have time to fill (or maybe doesn't <em>want </em>to fill--this is the same country where it was illegal for us to learn how to read). when you go to an hbcu it is like entering a cocoon as a caterpillar, being nurtured and molded for 4 years. . .and emerging as a butterfly. i realize i'm waxing poetic, but that's really how i feel. you will never convince me that i was crippled by going to howard or that my future children (who will be going to howard as well!) will either and i resent the implication. i'm not discrediting the value of other people's education, but i know what i got out of mine--but most importantly, i'm not asking if your school is necessary as if because *i* didn't get value out of it, it's not valuable (but if you would like to explain to me why ivy league schools are necessary, you can do that)<br />-steps off soapbox and unclinches black power fist- tee hee.</div>there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-74041201671728604842009-01-30T12:34:00.002-05:002009-01-30T12:50:02.428-05:00welcome back chrisette!i am a *huge* chrisette michele fan. . .unlike my closet beyonce fanhood, i am proud to admit that i love chrisette. she is so intelligent, her voice is amazing, she has this 'spunk' and she's so cute without trying too hard. i am still in awe from seeing her in dc last year around this time. because we are bff (okay, we're just myspace friends, but still) she sent me a message when she released her new single. it's called epiphany--i love it and can't wait for the new album. she writes:<br /> <span id="ctl00_ctl00_cpMain_cpMain_BulletinRead_ltl_body"></span><blockquote><span id="ctl00_ctl00_cpMain_cpMain_BulletinRead_ltl_body">i'm so so so excit<wbr>ed to share<wbr> with you some new music<wbr>! this new album<wbr> took NO TIME to recor<wbr>d. it seems<wbr> like every<wbr> word that i sang was alrea<wbr>dy on the tip of my toung<wbr>e befor<wbr>e i even got to the studi<wbr>o. one song i dream<wbr>t, came to the studi<wbr>o the produ<wbr>cer had music<wbr> that alrea<wbr>dy went with it and then my new frien<wbr>d, write<wbr>r fille<wbr>d in the blank<wbr>s like only he and i can! it was just so fatef<wbr>ul.<br /> God is alway<wbr>s provi<wbr>ding!<br /><br />so.<wbr>... my new singl<wbr>e is calle<wbr>d "<wbr>Epiph<wbr>any"<wbr>. i asked<wbr> Neyo to play an instr<wbr>ument<wbr>al role in my new work.<wbr> i wante<wbr>d him to liste<wbr>n to my voice<wbr> and then cater<wbr> to its uniqu<wbr>eness<wbr>, liste<wbr>n to my thoug<wbr>hts and then write<wbr> with them in mind.<wbr> he'd sit and write<wbr> right<wbr> in front<wbr> of me, askin<wbr>g "do you like this?<wbr> do you like that?<wbr>". i could<wbr>nt belie<wbr>ve how kind he was, he's writt<wbr>en for every<wbr> one and lil ol me gets this preci<wbr>ous treat<wbr>ment.<wbr> a bless<wbr>ing.<br /> <br /><br />you know that i wrote<wbr> my last album<wbr> save the choru<wbr>s on 2 songs<wbr> and i was VERY afrai<wbr>d of givin<wbr>g some one else the pen and pad.<wbr>.<wbr>.but when i did, magic<wbr> happe<wbr>ned. Claud<wbr>e Kelly<wbr> and Neyo (and of cours<wbr>e me.<wbr>..) broug<wbr>ht it and its a great<wbr> urban<wbr> creat<wbr>ion. i wante<wbr>d a lil bit more bass heavy<wbr>-<wbr>ness,<wbr> a lil more pain and hones<wbr>ty, i wante<wbr>d to be vulne<wbr>rable<wbr> and show that i've been hurt.<wbr>.. i even shed a tear or two (<wbr>okay,<wbr> that was when i sang right<wbr> after<wbr> my teeth<wbr> were pulle<wbr>d :) but reall<wbr>y, its a beaut<wbr>iful me, i know you will relat<wbr>e becau<wbr>se, every<wbr>ones been hurt b4 and we ALL have been in need of a heali<wbr>ng. Amen?<wbr> i want you to walk away from these<wbr> recor<wbr>ds knowi<wbr>ng who you are and aware<wbr> that no one can keep you locke<wbr>d in somet<wbr>hing that you dont deser<wbr>ve. Lets end ridic<wbr>ulous<wbr> relat<wbr>ionsh<wbr>ips, becom<wbr>e our own best frien<wbr>ds and work on culti<wbr>vatin<wbr>g a great<wbr> relat<wbr>ionsh<wbr>ip with our maker<wbr>... He'<wbr>ll lead us to the manor<wbr> woman<wbr> of our dream<wbr>s! yes?<br /><br />so.<wbr>.<wbr>.get your first<wbr> taste<wbr>! Epiph<wbr>any!<br /><br /><br />ps...<br />remem<wbr>ber last year how hard you all worke<wbr>d with me. you calle<wbr>d your radio<wbr> stati<wbr>ons, you broug<wbr>ht a cd for you and yo aunti<wbr>e and yo siste<wbr>r! you creat<wbr>ed somet<wbr>hing speci<wbr>al. you suppo<wbr>rted what you belie<wbr>ved in. i want you to know that i appre<wbr>ciate<wbr> you.<wbr>.<wbr>.<wbr>thats<wbr> why when ever you see me i love on you, i sign what ever you ask, i come to your parti<wbr>es, i write<wbr> back when ever i can.<wbr>.. its becau<wbr>se you'<wbr>ve been so graci<wbr>ous and kind to me and becau<wbr>se its my heart<wbr> to lavis<wbr>h you with music<wbr> for your lives<wbr> stori<wbr>es.<br /><br /><br />lets do it again<wbr>! lets do it bigge<wbr>r. the recor<wbr>d label<wbr> has promi<wbr>sed their<wbr> suppo<wbr>rt! i'm rally<wbr>ing up my troop<wbr>s. i need you to call in the singl<wbr>e... push it to the top with me.<br /><br /><br />i love you.<wbr>.. pleas<wbr>e enjoy<wbr>... Epiph<wbr>any. (<wbr>writt<wbr>en by Neyo,<wbr> produ<wbr>ced by Chuck<wbr> Harmo<wbr>ny.<wbr>.<wbr>.<wbr>sang by yours<wbr> trull<wbr>y.<wbr>.<wbr>.<wbr>Chris<wbr>ette Miche<wbr>le :)<br /><br />God bless<wbr> you all, keep me in your praye<wbr>rs, as i'll conti<wbr>nue to keep you in mine.<br /> ooomw<wbr>ah!<br /><br />-<wbr>chris<wbr>ette miche<wbr>le</span></blockquote><br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WU9tT2Gj26U&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WU9tT2Gj26U&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-51833107977559775482009-01-26T11:38:00.006-05:002009-01-26T16:54:59.360-05:00obama-rama<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigsvGdPRSK2CY44pj_FasDBx0kBphAgKbRWvoF4drJnHezbDVoLQTIB91H39DnrLrvKrhT2Jm3gQ5RSjvadv_8JusscFbQTOPDjOUrxTNr3TmJ1Ev5Vjh7x22gx7OLg0bUZR6sAHoUvyM/s1600-h/ball+to+ball.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 186px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigsvGdPRSK2CY44pj_FasDBx0kBphAgKbRWvoF4drJnHezbDVoLQTIB91H39DnrLrvKrhT2Jm3gQ5RSjvadv_8JusscFbQTOPDjOUrxTNr3TmJ1Ev5Vjh7x22gx7OLg0bUZR6sAHoUvyM/s320/ball+to+ball.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295643032982937954" border="0" /></a>k. so. . .we have a black president :)<br />i am so excited to finally be proud of my president, to finally feel defensive if someone says something bad about him, and to trust that he is and will be doing the right things for this country. never since i've been able to vote have i been able to say that.<br />however, i do have some things that i want to get out:<br /><ul><li>if you've read my <a href="http://runningnstilettos.blogspot.com/2008/11/were-not-done-yet.html">previous entries</a>, you know that i don't believe that barack being president means that any black person can be president--there was a special alignment of personal and political factors that made this moment.<br /></li><li>i don't think dr. king's dream has been realized--i think the swearing in and its proximity to the holiday was begging for people to draw that conclusion. . .but after all is said and done, there's still a lot of work to do</li><li>i am a closet beyonce fan--this couple that i love being serenaded by beyonce for their first dance was almost more than i could bear. lol</li><li>i didn't love either of michelle's inauguration day ensembles--i don't care how much her sleeves were lined in the toledo outifit, she was COLD and if you're going to sacrifice your warmth to be cute, it needs to be extra cute--i don't think this outfit was worth the sacrifice. i saw the sketches tracy reese submitted, besides the fact that her outfit was purple, it also incorporated a real coat--i vote for tracy. lol. the jason wu dress was okay. . .i'm not a big fan of 3-d things on dresses. it looked really pretty from a distance and the white was beautiful on her, but i was disappointed :( however, i was not disappointed in her hair--it was definitely on point. hey hair!</li><li>i was sad that i didn't get tickets to any of the official balls or to the swearing in. anything else was just a party, i hated that people were charging so much for parties in the name of the inauguration as if spending $500 to get in was okay because obama was about to be president--the same promoters try to throw the same expensive parties whenever they know a whole bunch of black people will be in town. if you want to party go 'head, i'm not judging, but don't try to use obama to justify spending that amount of money in a recession--if he's not going to be there, it's not an 'obama party' and you're not really spending your money for him. lol. donate that to the dnc!<br /></li><li>along the same lines (and i'm going to step on some toes here--sorry, not judging, just stating my opinion) i am really happy that so many people went out on the mall to be part of the crowds bc the pictures were amazing. all those people in that freezing cold for my president. however, i don't like the idea of people thinking that just bc they were out there they were the ones who 'witnessed history' or were 'a part of history'. yes, the energy was amazing and i ventured out to be in it, but anyone who watched it 'witnessed history'--which was a <a href="http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/01/the_inauguration_of_president.html">lot of people around the world</a>. if you were out there, especially without a ticket, you may or may not have had a good view of a jumbotron (which was just a tv outside. . .with limited sound, so you didn't even get to <span style="font-style: italic;">hear</span> history), you might have been as far back as the washington monument--which might as well have been in a different city than the capitol building on that day, and you also had to stand out in the cold for hours, which means you probably missed the coverage of the rest of the historical day leading up to the ceremony. all this to say, that if you went out to be in the energy and just be a part of the crowd, that's great and that's what you could expect to do. but every time i see a shirt or something that says 'i witnessed history', i cringe a little--whether you watched it on an inside tv or an outside tv, you witnessed history, if you watched it outside, you didn't even get to hear the power in president obama's voice as he delivered his 'vows' or the way he sounded like he really meant what he was saying when he gave his speech (of course there's youtube, but that actual moment only happens once). for me, that would have lessened the experience. i realize this may not be true for everyone, so like i said, i'm glad people made the sacrifice and went out there if that's what they wanted to do. and yes, i will still tell my kids i was there--closer to the capitol building than most of the people who watched it outside ;)<br /></li><li>also (lol. i decided that last bullet point was getting kinda long), as far as 'being a part of history' goes, i was talking to one of my friends (q.d.) who was one of the people who helped make this a reality--she knocked on doors, several times over--in the cold, in different states, etc--i did my share and worked as an 'organizer' for the campaign in nc during primary season and donated money after primary season, but from my work i definitely respected the people like her, who really worked--for free-- to make this possible, bc the work wasn't glamorous and didn't show instant results. those people were part of history. i know that a lot of people did work like that and so there was definitely some overlap between the people who were out on the mall and the people who did the grassroots work--but i wonder about those people who say 'it was worth it to stand out in the cold <span style="font-style: italic;">to be a part of history</span> and see him take the oath' or made it seem like it was so important for them to be out there, who never went out and campaigned, who were passive observers/supporters and now that it's time to celebrate want to talk about their 'sacrifice' of standing out in the cold to be part of the moment. in my opinion, if no one had gone out there on the mall, president obama would still be president obama, but if the grassroots volunteers hadn't been out in full force during the 2 years before, the same thing cannot be said. it is definitely food for thought that so many people can go out in the cold to celebrate but wouldn't go out in the warm to campaign. this moment didn't just come into being on january 20--it was a long time in the making and it's great that people voted for my president and went to watch him take the oath, but i've just been wondering what they were doing when others were working to make it possible for him to even be on the ballot. like, can you say you 'earned' your place in this history--not by standing outside waiting for him to get sworn in wearing the stuff you bought from the street vendors with his name on it, but by actually being a part of the movement? for qd and i, we felt like we were a part of history even before the morning of january 20--it was like we just wanted to enjoy the energy of the celebration and watch the fruits of our (and so many other people's) labor no more sacrifices necessary :) (lol. it was definitely cold walking up there tho!) i'm not saying this moment doesn't belong to all of us who hoped for it and are happy at its arrival, i'm just saying it would be even sweeter if all of us had put that same energy into ensuring that it came.<br /></li><li>on a lighter note, there were sooo many heartwarming moments among my first family--my heart melted when i saw malia taking pics of her dad or when she gave him her approval of his speech. sasha was cute as ever, the excitement overwhelmed her and she definitely fell asleep watching the parade, but i just love her. malia is michelle's mini-me--they have the same eyebrows and even the same little waddle when they walk. and sasha looks like barack did when he was a little chubby boy in hawaii. and they were the cutest little things in their custom made jcrew coats--they are such better role models than the bush girls, and they're only 7 and 10!! i could talk about their family alllll day. i know they are an inspiration to so many and i feel like i know them!</li></ul>anyway, my president has already shown that he plans to run things. he is SO smooth. he has already made so many people interested in politics who were never interested before and inspired so many people on a personal level. i am so looking forward to his *8* years in the white house and what he can do to and for this country. like my godfather cornel west said, i hope he will be a thermostat and not just a thermometer--a thermometer only reads the temperature and reflects it; a thermostat controls the climate. if he can stay true to himself and his family, we are going to be in for an excellent climate here in the us! ready??there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-47284353071307964092009-01-08T13:35:00.004-05:002009-01-08T14:48:59.220-05:00viva mexico!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1cjXEFfGx-fprHmgHYcZhDjPB2-yEDzWyLoOJXpvq4M-iftixEcblW2i_X8KqW11jaOX3aiuqS8jxqwcIyWLDoAYoLQiYOMZRBMnmKHgwi4RbfS2EKUs6OBo9nEhsWz1s8lf_hmrdnc/s1600-h/mexico-flag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 228px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1cjXEFfGx-fprHmgHYcZhDjPB2-yEDzWyLoOJXpvq4M-iftixEcblW2i_X8KqW11jaOX3aiuqS8jxqwcIyWLDoAYoLQiYOMZRBMnmKHgwi4RbfS2EKUs6OBo9nEhsWz1s8lf_hmrdnc/s320/mexico-flag.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289009880053511138" border="0" /></a><br />Happy New Year!<br />so. this year i spent new year's eve with my bf. . .in cabo! it was a really nice trip. despite all my nervousness surrounding that much uninterrupted couple time (besides my commitmentphobia, there is definitely room to be nervous at the idea of being able to hear when someone is using the bathroom for four days and five nights--i don't care how much you love them). but we did good. it's funny bc everyone wants to hear all the details of your trip--but there really weren't many details. we chilled out a lot, ate, drank (yay for all-inclusives with macro-bars in the rooms(to call it a mini bar would be unfair)), and just enjoyed the city and being away. it was pretty funny to see the mexicans' reactions to us (there were VERY few black people vacationing there), we were like mini-celebs. we even had a guy ask if we would pose for a picture with his kids!<br />even though nothing happened to write home about, i did think of a few things to write here about :)<br />what i loved:<br /><ul><li>almost a whole week of no one asking me what i do for a living. so many foreigners (canadians included) can have a whole conversation with you without asking what you do, even once. we ran into a family from chicago/tennesee on a cruise we went on. after a minute of polite convo, i excused myself for a few minutes, but left the bf--they asked him what he does for a living! 2 minutes in!! i wasn't there for that, but as SOON as we came back into the us, the customs officer (30 sec convo) asked what we did. why??</li><li>the international black people nod/smile! wherever you go, you can tell a good black american by the way they acknowledge you in public. the few we did see tended to nod back. there was even a guy who looked like he could be black who nodded (he revealed himself as not black when he called the bf 'bro' (with that strong 'o' they use). . .lol. the bf had a <span style="font-style: italic;">lot </span>of white frat boy family down there). of course there were the ones who avoided all eye contact, which was fine with me bc i could give them dirty looks without them seeing :)</li><li>the bracelets from the resort. i have always hated these things bc i didn't like being 'branded' and they usually mess up my tan. but they really helped in mexico as we were wandering around 'adventuring' and riding the bus. people saw them and knew where we were staying. . .and that we were on the wrong bus. lol. and they were really helpful in redirecting us.<br /></li><li>the people. mexicans get a bad rap in america, but they are such happy people! the hotel staff was always SO friendly and helpful. just genuinely cheerful. the mexican kids were all happy and content and polite--i never saw one of them throw a temper tantrum or be nuisances to other people. </li><li>the food. besides it being free and all you could eat allll the time, it was so fresh. everything just tasted better. i even tasted guacamole for the first time in my life bc the avocado in my sushi was so good (i was, however, skeptical about even initially trying 'mexican sushi' lol. but hey, it's vacation, right? i even drank a corona!). and omg the ice cream at the hotel. . .heavenly.</li><li>being 'disconnected'. when i'm at home, i have heart palpitations if i lose my phone for a second or if it's not working. i don't know what to do with myself if my internet isn't working, etc. . .so i really thought it would be a struggle to get there and enjoy myself without thinking about what i was possibly missing. but it wasn't. as a matter of fact, it was really pleasant to just focus on what and who was around you and not what you could reach through the use of technology. (but of course i had no problem plugging myself back in once we got back).<br /></li></ul>what i did not love:<br /><ul><li>that the tsa thinks the world is a safer place if me and lolo are without my 6.8 oz special edition nivea cream :(</li><li>the fact that the exchange rate was somewhere between 12.50 and 13. . .umm, how am i supposed to divide that??</li><li>the other kids. it is hard to tell canadian white people from american white people without listening to them talk, but o-m-g their kids were the surliest, brattiest, ungrateful, most annoying somebodies. after restraining myself from knocking over a 'tyler' for stomping his little crocs through my sand-writing (without so much as a word from his mother), i had to find a happy place in my mind to keep from scowling at every one of them i saw for the rest of the trip. woosah!<br /></li><li>the time difference. it wasn't *that* big, but going backwards is always a little jarring. i am <span style="font-style: italic;">just </span>recovering </li><li>the day of traveling. it was literally a day! we got on the shuttle at 5:30 am to go to the airport (2 hours early for the mexican 'customs search'--which involves petite people unzipping your haphazardly packed bag and unproductively semi-rummaging through your stuff) and got back to my place around 8.</li><li>these 2 girls who did the day of traveling with us. o-m-g. they were talking a mile a minute beginning at 5:30 am! everyone else in the shuttle was trying to sleep and be quiet. . .and they were talking! about nothing! we got a little break on the flight from cabo to dallas. then we found out they were going to dc too!! while we were waiting, i sneaked a peak of their tickets and was unreasonably excited when i saw that they were sitting faaar away from us--or so i thought. one of them was, but one of them was sitting directly in front of us. so of course one moved up. nothing more perfect to end a vacation. . .except the rain and cold when we got back. sigh.</li></ul>anyway, enough complaining. it was a great trip and i'm ready to do it again!there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-63686926995802566972008-12-23T21:53:00.004-05:002008-12-23T22:36:08.613-05:00your assets?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQH9DPShDC8F9N5nhITD7trKYU-MfnU5GBpyc13CpcMBe8l3igR50Ac0LlHA2ncYoqetDvdwUqhqAOPF9EyH6RgAl1NTnkuCak6ZIAJMjbf1bQNy-HM-GuYP0o2zZtXTA7OneOyVX-i0/s1600-h/silhouette.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQH9DPShDC8F9N5nhITD7trKYU-MfnU5GBpyc13CpcMBe8l3igR50Ac0LlHA2ncYoqetDvdwUqhqAOPF9EyH6RgAl1NTnkuCak6ZIAJMjbf1bQNy-HM-GuYP0o2zZtXTA7OneOyVX-i0/s400/silhouette.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283194270476750178" border="0" /></a><br />so i recently stepped out of a contraption called a monokini--for those of you who don't know, that is a one piece swimsuit with so many scandalous cut-outs that it is sexier than your average bikini--and i thought of an interview that i read with eva mendes where she said she has to be careful what she wears because her curves can turn innocent stuff into scandlous stuff. i have definitely said that before! even a crewneck tshirt can look like a seduction tool when the twins are involved. . .and let's not talk about tank tops! and after some squats and some praying, i have developed a 'dunk to go with the twins--it's got nothing on my friend 'queen dunk' but it's enough to make random guys think it might talk back to them as i walk by. so anyway, i decided that i have, um, too much volume in my lady lumps to wear the monokini outside the house. . .this 'event' coupled with a friend's blog i just read entitled, "<a href="http://nakedwithsockson.blogspot.com/2008/12/do-men-respect-women-with-fat-asses.html">do men respect women with fat asses</a>" (i don't curse, but that's what it's called!) made me think about thick being 'in' but is it really?<br />i think most women know what it feels like to be objectified in the work place--if you're anywhere near cute, some man is going make you feel like you're his eye candy, even if you're more credentialed than he is and haven't done anything to warrant such attention. somehow those button down shirts don't really take the girls into account and there will be gaping at some of the buttons or those straight cut slacks will hug a little on your behind and thighs. . .and someone is bound to notice. ever since i started working i've been aware of men having conversations with my breasts, or arranging 'meetings' where they asked whether i was married or wanted to have lunch or whatever when i just came to work. being a woman in a man's world is hard work. . .<br />if you're a video girl, or otherwise sell your body--working what you got to get what you want--i suppose having ample bosoms and buttocks is truly, um, an asset. but if you're not and you live in the real world, are they somewhat a gift and a curse? i mean, of course you should be proud of what you have--there are girls paying to get breasts and butts every day! but other than the way you fill out that party dress, how your man likes that extra 'jiggle' or the times you want the attention (face it ladies, we have a double standard here--sometimes we want people to notice how pretty we are or what we have), i wonder if i'm the only one who sometimes thinks these extra parts can just . . .get in the way.there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-58098157561720487302008-12-16T13:46:00.006-05:002008-12-16T17:52:06.629-05:00book review: michelle by liza mundy *spoiler alert(?)*<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWVVx6vWgDqk1iMU-ROq2YKYHcuPkc-NwT49fvntWN_s2NfDqb8hy-xp-_t5Oro2Akp-sz4bP_5i9Py8Iv6ZZ13YJ7_QizHeVRrJ2aIMoAC9mN6-R8Pa3qTBT2aWT9wC-KlJrg0yuI8YA/s1600-h/michellebook.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 128px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWVVx6vWgDqk1iMU-ROq2YKYHcuPkc-NwT49fvntWN_s2NfDqb8hy-xp-_t5Oro2Akp-sz4bP_5i9Py8Iv6ZZ13YJ7_QizHeVRrJ2aIMoAC9mN6-R8Pa3qTBT2aWT9wC-KlJrg0yuI8YA/s320/michellebook.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280524500455418514" border="0" /></a><br />(can you really spoil a famous person's person's biography?)i finished the book a little while ago, but i wanted to get my thoughts together before writing. so. i liked the book--it was a biography so it got a little slow in places and it's not an authorized biography (which gave me pause about even buying it initially) so you could tell that the author was really reaching for people to talk to to help shape the story in parts. but overall, it was a pretty good biography. it sucked me in in the beginning because it was talking about chicago (my honorary hometown) and chicago politics during the time period in which michelle grew up. her story was not super-interesting, partly because we've heard a lot of it before, but the author did a good job of tying pieces together, getting quotes from people, and surveying the media coverage of her (you get the impression that she almost stalkerishly lived, ate, breathed michelle to write this book).<br />once again, i was impressed by how much michelle and i seem to have in common and so when the author got to the part about michelle at princeton or in law school and the way she generally felt like a fish out of water until she found her niche, either with other black people or with a particular cause, i could relate. there wasn't a lot about her time in law school other than the clinic work she did and the one, completely useless quote from someone who sat next to her in a class on race who said 'she didn't say much in class but she seemed like an affable person' or something like that. thanks.<br />and i was upset, but not surprised when the white people with whom she worked and the white man who introduced her to the firm said they were disappointed in her when she later criticized the firm and said she didn't like being there. as if they could speak to her experience and say what she should have felt about that environment. ugh. i also got tired of the random white people quoted saying 'she's so funny'. something about that doesn't sit right to me. lol. i know it's well documented that she is witty and can make people laugh, but when when one of the only things a white person can say about someone so personable, educated, and overall impressive is that she's funny, it makes me think they've missed something and shouldn't be quoted.<br />i think my favorite part was when the author talked about the obama groupies and panty flingers. michelle has the attitude that if someone can come between them then they must not have had very much at all. . .the other side of her calm, cool, collected answer is that everyone who knows them says he knows she would leave him, actually she would kill him first, then she would leave him (as one source put it). he simply says it wouldn't be worth it to cheat on her--which is sweet and noble, but now we know there's a little bit of fear behind those words! lol.<br />so anyway, of course the book ends before the election. it's funny how it shows how she went from being against the whole politics thing, to reluctantly involved, to very enthusiastically involved, then censoredly involved as the campaign had to 'handle' her and her image. so all in all it was informative and as interesting as possible, i'm sure there will be another one about her as first lady. . .hmm, what else:<br /><br />betcha didn't know:<br /><ul><li>sasha's (the youngest daughter) real name is natasha--they just shortened it and call her sasha at home--and now so do we!<br /></li><li>they have a rule--michelle is allowed to poke fun at him in public (not picking up socks, leaving the butter out, etc) but he isn't allowed to to do the same to her<br /></li><li>he proposed to her in a restaurant (during the middle of one of her many rantings about how they should get married) by having the waiter bring the ring out on a plate as 'dessert'<br /></li><li>they have talked about effecting change and helping to change the country for the better since they first met, but she didn't know that he wanted to do it through politics (the book does a good job of explaining why she was wary of politics). and his early political career caused a significant strain on their relationship. on their annual christmas trip in 1999 they were barely on speaking terms.</li><li>when he made his show-stealing speech at the dnc in 2004 he could barely rent a car to get there--their credit cards were maxed out (i was worried about our first black pres having bad credit, but after that speech the royalties from the first book came flooding in along with a $2 million dollar advance for what would become the audacity of hope)</li></ul>what i appreciated most/learned from michelle by reading this book:<br />to my credit, i was pretty much there on my own--anyone who's ever been in a relationship with me has heard me say 'i can't change you or what you do or make you do anything and i won't try, but i can and will change me and what i do, so let me know what you're going to do and i'll adjust myself accordingly'. it saves you a lot of pain, wasted time, and wasted energy if you adopt this approach to dealing with people who aren't your children. lol.<br />anyway, michelle came to a revelation during their time of not speaking, her being angry and miserable at his absence and even more miserable at his presence, and her time of feeling tricked into being a single parent. she decided to create her happiness. she says she "had to stop being angry and expecting him to change, and focus instead on how she could gain control and extract happiness out of her life." she asked herself "how do i structure my world so that it works for me and i'm not trying to get him to be what i think he should be." she realized that even when he was doing his best when he was at home trying to be a father and husband, it wasn't enough to keep her happy and sane and instead of asking for the impossible of their current situation and being mad that he wasn't making her happy, she decided to make herself happy. she figured out what she needed and that she didn't necessarily need him to be the one doing it--if she needed alone time away from the kids, instead of being mad that he couldn't give it to her, she asked her mom to watch the kids. she was getting what she needed without banging her head against a brick wall. and i hate to generalize, but she did and it helped her. she says she realized that men, all men, put themselves first and everything else after whereas women are more likely to put themselves near the bottom of their own lists.<br />once she made her revelations and put things into action, she was happier, her household was happier, and it opened up the opportunity for him to become the president--if she hadn't had that revelation, there would be no president barack obama and his adoring family. either he would have been at the top without michelle, or they would be together and he would be in private practice somewhere.<br />anyway, this is for all ladies in relationships (and even those looking for relationships) from michelle obama (and <a href="http://colleenscorner.com/Poetry.html">this poem</a> i like): take control of your own happiness and don't blame him for your unhappiness. don't expect him to fulfill all of your needs or make yourself miserable because your needs aren't being met. extract your own happiness, "plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."<span style=";font-family:verdana,arial;font-size:85%;" ><br /></span>there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-43560677359633062872008-12-15T16:37:00.004-05:002008-12-15T17:01:02.409-05:00brrr!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2tpw1p2oX3cHqY9fXNC0pAIiBbGZhJnYvWTOPC_XCZU_4XxtR-4FB1y8PGzWRXqB27k0OyIAwELnums_tBUUoxHu9jv_HwurCRhvWl0OMDhJ4K9cBuCBijDSLWKeCBS7vehg2DgQu6os/s1600-h/snowflake.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 161px; height: 188px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2tpw1p2oX3cHqY9fXNC0pAIiBbGZhJnYvWTOPC_XCZU_4XxtR-4FB1y8PGzWRXqB27k0OyIAwELnums_tBUUoxHu9jv_HwurCRhvWl0OMDhJ4K9cBuCBijDSLWKeCBS7vehg2DgQu6os/s400/snowflake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280139195505390082" border="0" /></a><br /><br />it is widely known that i am not fond of the cold. my people are a tropical people and so i'm one of the only people who isn't complaining when it's nearly 100 degrees in the summertime bc i'd rather that than winter. besides the freeeeeezing weather outside that makes it hard to get out of bed (and makes staying in the office a little longer seem like a good idea), the darkness at 5 pm, and the mess that is snow and ice, it is super hard to be cute in the cold. by the time you've added 5-7 lbs in layering and debated whether it is safe to wear heels, you no longer feel like going through the effort to attain fabulosity (good thing it's in my blood and therefore unavoidable) or going outside period.<br />anyway, after i found myself cheering at the fact that it was a measly 44 degrees outside when i left for work (as opposed to the 24 of last week) and talking to my friend about how the high where she lives was only 17 degrees (that is not a temperature! that is a date on the calendar!) i was reminded that every year i say there are only 5 good things about the winter/cold, but i can never name them all at the same time, so i've decided to list them here:<br /><ul><li>carol's daughter body butter. my favorite is ecstasy. i look forward to the scent and feel-good moisturizing of this product to cheer me up on those stupid winter days that threaten to turn me into a dry, cracked raisin.</li><li>peppermint hot chocolate. i first tried it at starbucks and i fell in love. this is such a grown up twist on an old favorite. . .or maybe it's not so grown up. doesn't matter to me.</li><li>cashmere. i have always had expensive taste. cashmere is my winter splurge. it is so soft and warm, it makes you almost glad--almost--to have a reason to wear it</li><li>flannel sheets. they make it even harder to get out of the bed in the morning! and when you get in the bed they are already warm and soft and waiting for you!</li><li>fireplaces/the smell of fireplaces. it's just a comforting feeling. i'm all about nostalgia. and i could stare at a fire in a fireplace forever.</li></ul>okay, so now my list is down. my silver lining to this cloud. sigh.there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-56712414052546474712008-12-15T14:46:00.004-05:002008-12-15T21:44:03.928-05:00movie comment: cadillac records<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfDCH87ATw_I7eeLhDhMfepf8RG1wdPWxv9s9yU5cf5NFMAutHXjVtCtk8WVvKOOsRrDK1LJjMfLlKFpPizaEIaLg_Zam91stS-KAW_L6DroXa3WGA5V2Fe-kdnhiM4fB-EllTsJP-nFI/s1600-h/cadillac+records+bnw.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfDCH87ATw_I7eeLhDhMfepf8RG1wdPWxv9s9yU5cf5NFMAutHXjVtCtk8WVvKOOsRrDK1LJjMfLlKFpPizaEIaLg_Zam91stS-KAW_L6DroXa3WGA5V2Fe-kdnhiM4fB-EllTsJP-nFI/s320/cadillac+records+bnw.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280105847413325826" border="0" /></a>k. so i saw the movie. . .<br />i was so impressed! i guess because i didn't expect it to be good (i actually cringed in anticipation of beyonce's first line when she came on the scene) but i really liked it! adrian brody was great. the surprise (to me) appearance of cedric the entertainer is always welcome. jeffrey wright was (and is always) great--you can tell he really studied muddy waters! beyonce held her own--they made her sing more than they let her talk, but when she was talking, she got over that tendency she has to sound like she's reading. you can tell she really tried to channel the emotions of each scene. although i have to say, beyonce is and always will be beyonce. her 'people' have put us on so much beyonce overload that she will never be able to transcend her beyonce-ness the way jamie foxx was able to stop being jamie foxx and actually become ray charles. when i look at her, i see beyonce--no matter how many etta mannerisms she studied and adopted. which kinda sucks for any potential acting career she may have wanted. sorry b!<br />anyway, i really liked it and was intrigued bc i only knew a little about these people--muddy waters, chuck berry, etta james are people i know to respect but didn't know their stories (to my credit, i do have 2 etta james songs on my ipod). and i hadn't even heard of little walter (who knew columbus short was that cute??) or howlin' wolf. it was a very entertaining movie. i barely got the wiggles that i get whenever i see a movie in the theater (i have always had an issue with doing nothing but sitting and staring at a screen for 2 + hours). it was a learning experience for me!<br />in order to enjoy this movie, you have to realize what it is and what it isn't. it <span style="font-weight: bold;">is</span> the story of the rise and peak of cadillac/chess records. it <span style="font-weight: bold;">isn't </span>the etta james story, the leonard chess story, the chuck berry story, etc. it<span style="font-weight: bold;"> isn't</span> a story about the time period that all this was happening in. so you will be left wanting more context and more details about the lives of these individuals. you only learn enough about them to either know their contribution to the label, their motivations, their weaknesses/tragic story, and maybe their downfall if it occured at the same time as the peak of the label. they couldn't fit everyone's story in that short timespan, but it was great for telling the story it was trying to tell. i also think i just love the <span style="font-style: italic;">feel </span>of the music from that time period, it made me want to have the soundtrack and an etta james album by the time it was all over with. the bf says it was too much of a musical not to be a musical. . .i think you couldn't tell the story without the music, but that doesn't necessarily mean it had to be a musical! idk, maybe i liked it bc i didn't expect much, but i definitely liked it. you have to go see it. . .even if you don't love it, you won't hate it.<br />this, ladies and gentlemen, is the history of rock and roll. . .<br /><br />ps- pay very close attention to your ticket. they are doing that thing again where they don't give the movie its sales--my mom's ticket was for the transporter movie, or something like that.there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-49084345704402425132008-12-10T11:28:00.002-05:002008-12-10T13:36:37.692-05:00power to the people?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNndwwfEU_oHS9Wva0TGqKERl6pTA-ZZtkoVOOjb9C1BW9GhcBUBnCEh4rjS2D9iU0UhH_TTZuJV_ZiXtuBACvSNQvhN9VN07hRRwJYfpOV0zNz1gMyn9PTh0YJ4e7y8FmUNJ9U-TH5jg/s1600-h/cadillacrecords_poster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNndwwfEU_oHS9Wva0TGqKERl6pTA-ZZtkoVOOjb9C1BW9GhcBUBnCEh4rjS2D9iU0UhH_TTZuJV_ZiXtuBACvSNQvhN9VN07hRRwJYfpOV0zNz1gMyn9PTh0YJ4e7y8FmUNJ9U-TH5jg/s320/cadillacrecords_poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278199884790344450" border="0" /></a><br />my thoughts have been provoked by the news of the dismal opening of the movie cadillac records. i admit that i had very little interest in seeing this movie in theaters. i love beyonce as a singer and performer in that capacity, but her acting has always left much to be desired--as does almost anything where i have to listen to her talk, unfortunately. i hadn't heard much about the movie--i read more posts about the cast and premiere parties in blogs than i've seen commercials for the movie. but i felt guilty when i heard about the poor showing at the opening. this movie had black star power--jeffrey wright, gabrielle union, the mighty mos def (swoon!), and of course beyonce (who gained weight for the role--you guys know how hard it is for that girl to stay in shape, so this was a super important role!) and it chronicled the rise of chess records, which gave us important black singers like etta james and muddy waters. in short, the movie was black history and pretty much coonery free--it portrayed the kind of images of black people that we say the big (and small) screen is lacking. so why weren't we out in droves to support it? this is the same problem the great debaters, eve's bayou, and other movies about black firsts/history have.<br />i get it. people like to laugh, comedies tend to do well across the board. but in a barack obama era--why can't we pull large audiences without shucking and jiving, killing each other, a man in a dress, cooning, or movies produced by a man in a dress? white people have always loved to laugh at us--we were allowed to entertain them long before we were allowed to drink from the same water fountain as they were. and true to form, they will still turn out in droves to see movies where we are cooning, thus inflating the box office numbers . . .i'm not really talking about them, but about us. we can't complain about bet, mtv, and other derogatory forms of black entertainment if we won't support the few times someone breaks through and can get funding for a movie that shows us in a positive light. if as many of us would have put secret lives of bees at the top of our priority list the way we did sex and the city, it would have done much better. if we were as excited to see denzel in the great debaters as we were to see him in training day, we would have been sending a message. we aren't doing a good job of letting studio executives know that we mean it when we say we want to see positive black images and we don't need a laugh track or a punchline to support it.<br />therefore, i will suck it up and go see cadillac records. it might not mean much, but it makes me feel like i'm doing my part so i can feel good about complaining about the lack of real, positive 'us' to go with my popcornthere she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-11075445297535877582008-12-03T13:23:00.006-05:002008-12-04T13:38:32.314-05:00barack my world!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgawfO_bo4-hlbxO9ByJFhJw7S7_FloaLhFI0GwgihRCNaoXdzqwTXcDY1C1ga8pVEvF4_zcT7pod8f5RXK1731yZC0TZ2PFKujbbZw8vC8qAbh0ZAeKJT9o9lI5IfmXQZvalEE1l9hJMw/s1600-h/michelle+looks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 197px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgawfO_bo4-hlbxO9ByJFhJw7S7_FloaLhFI0GwgihRCNaoXdzqwTXcDY1C1ga8pVEvF4_zcT7pod8f5RXK1731yZC0TZ2PFKujbbZw8vC8qAbh0ZAeKJT9o9lI5IfmXQZvalEE1l9hJMw/s320/michelle+looks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275659808235147346" border="0" /></a><br />so i'm in the middle of reading michelle obama's biography (review coming later) and besides learning how much we have in common (thus earning me the nickname "mini-michelle") it made me think about how she has become a role model for so many black women. black women are and will be stepping up their respective game to be seen as a 'michelle'. they may even have to update webster's to let the world know what it means to be a michelle! my friends and i talk about her at length and one of my friends, who i will call cocoa kitty, even wrote a note where she aptly and eloquently ponders the real question for so many successful black women looking for their complement: <blockquote>"I wonder am I strong enough on my own yet submissive enough to allow the right man to lead our future family and me? It’s a balance that the self-described “mom-in-chief” has gracefully achieved. She hasn’t given up who she is to let her man shine. Best friends for sixteen years, her light helps him shine. I’m sure he’d tell you that any day of the week. "</blockquote>all of this makes me proud, but it also makes me wonder. . .are there enough baracks for all the aspiring michelles? so this post isn't so much about how to become a michelle, but more about if the guys we date could really handle a michelle--despite the fact that they are saying that's what they're looking for. i'm not talking about the obvious--she is one tall glass of water (taller than the average man), she graduated from two ivy league schools, and when she was working she made close to a half a million dollars a year--these things alone are intimidating, but that's not what i'm talking about.<br /><br />we see all of the adorable loving pictures of michelle and barack. their love is real, their family is strong, and you know that she admires and supports him. . .but what you may or may not know is that he has earned every bit of that admiration and support and continues to have to do so. michelle is not easily impressed. there are stories about how she treated her suitors before barack. . .most romances were short lived. she didn't take anybody's crap and was looking for someone who was worthy of her and what she had to offer. pause there ladies--did you hear that? she didn't stoop, make excuses, or lower her standards so that she wouldn't have to be alone. better yet, did you hear that gentlemen--if you were late for a date without calling, couldn't hold an intelligent conversation, or had no ambitions or passion, michelle wasn't going to wait around for you to get yourself together. and the thing is, she wasn't materialistic--she didn't expect for you to make the same amount of money she did, or have the same educational pedigree or familial background as she had. i'm sure you've heard that barack used to drive her around in a car with a hole rusted in the floor--and she smiled and watched the ground go by as they chatted. she knew to look for what really counted. . .and when she found it, she knew it! barack was trying to be the typical 'intelligent male' and would go on and on about how marriage was a superficial institution and all that really mattered was how they felt about each other--michelle wasn't trying to hear that. she let him know what she wanted and clearly she got it. (can you believe b thought he was going to get away with that? you betta put a ring on it!)<br />and he also jokes about how she told him that he couldn't take for granted that he had her vote for the presidency--she told him he'd have to earn it! he knows he can look to her for support, but that she's also going to tell it like it is. . .she is just as quick to yank off the rose-colored glasses as she is to rub his head after a long day. she's been criticized for being emasculating (code for not letting him play the victim or toot his own horn for too long), and it is kinda funny to hear him say things like 'yes, she said 'congratulations on becoming the first black president--you're taking the kids to school in the morning, right?'' or to see her check him in interviews ('umm, when was washing the dishes ever soothing for you??'). but you know when he lays down beside her at night he knows that her love is real, that when she says 'good job' she means it, and when she played mariah's 'hero' backstage before the election results that he really is her hero--and that ain't no small thing.<br />if you know like i know, you know that a lot of men need coddling. they don't care if they're really doing a good job as long as you tell them they are. they get defensive if you criticize them, they let their past issues keep them from present success, and some of them even get envious if you begin to outshine them. they love that 'she got her own' until 'her own' is more than theirs. forget dishwashing being soothing--they will cop an attitude if you ask them to do domestic work. they want to collect the gold stars and brag about being the man. . .but don't want to put in the work and don't want you to call them on it. if you point out ways they can improve, you're trying to 'change them' and if you don't support every pipe dream ('sweetie, i don't know if it's a good idea to quit your job and try to start a rap career at 40. . .') then you are an evil, nagging, dream crusher. sadly, many of the nasty stereotypes about black women come from our own brothers--the ones who couldn't recognize their michelle because she was wrapped in that hard exterior to protect herself from the world and they were too lazy to work to get to the softness in the middle, too complacent to let her help their shine, and too scared of having their player card revoked by their friends to settle down and build a family. there is something to be said and understood about the fact that she loves you the way you are. . .but loves you too much to leave you that way. every man is not going to be a barack in the sense of being the first black president, the first black editor of the harvard law review, or being able to speak to move crowds. . .but they can be more barack-like. recognize that you're not perfect and the woman you love knows that better than anyone, let her shine up your armor by pointing out the dents; come to her for the comfort that only she can give, but also come to her for the knowledge and understanding that she has that is different from yours; and be man enough to <span style="font-style: italic;">want </span>to have to earn her love and respect. understand that if all she ever does is agree with you and tell you how great you are, she's doing you a huge disservice. pressure makes diamonds--not rubbing the coal with a gentle cloth.there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-50731843775945748402008-11-26T11:23:00.005-05:002008-11-26T14:33:19.464-05:00housewives of atl--reunited!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQpIugbnsOcMDP0h9VWD5gvNeU2hk0fLUGiCthKdFCYYjZQj532oHXytuXR0rtgzp4y4efqIsK9_i0rkHQ9MGjsmRQmUoYGPLunECSSrJR8GjPIKFPGEiJLp9AIUacO2EEK1WA2PUgXhM/s1600-h/425.housewives.atlanta.lc.112508.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQpIugbnsOcMDP0h9VWD5gvNeU2hk0fLUGiCthKdFCYYjZQj532oHXytuXR0rtgzp4y4efqIsK9_i0rkHQ9MGjsmRQmUoYGPLunECSSrJR8GjPIKFPGEiJLp9AIUacO2EEK1WA2PUgXhM/s320/425.housewives.atlanta.lc.112508.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273002830912441474" border="0" /></a><br />soooooooooooo.<br />first, smooches to my girls who joined the 'virtual watch party' and to all of those who thought it was a cute idea but could only be there in spirit. lol.<br />now, i still haven't seen episode 7--i will catch a marathon and update the blog. i really only want to see it so can see mychael knight tell sheree about herself. what i was really looking forward to was the reunion show!! it was pretty juicy, huh?<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />preliminarily</span>:<br /><ul><li>wheeeeere did they get that goofy white man host?? was that some kind of joke?? the show would have been so much juicier with someone who would have instigated instead of reading the questions like they were poetry and trying to control the back and forth like it was a therapy session</li><li>further, why do white people always think everyone needs to be friends?? if you find out someone is trifling and have a falling out, nothing obliges you to be friends with a trifling person! nene and kim may never be friends again. . .maybe they will. get over it, goofy white host.<br /></li><li>they are taking the georgia peach thing TOO far. those peaches on the table looked too random! and were those mimosas? none of the girls touched them until dwight, like maybe they thought they might have been poisoned. i mean, who really has time to sip bubbly when you have other things popping off!</li><li>those questions were so random. i wish someone would have let me submit one or two.</li></ul><span style="font-style: italic;">the good stuff</span>:<br /><ul><li>hair check: kim-always a no. sheree-what was she thinking with that high ponytail AND the full swoop bang?? you can leave some weave in the bag honey. nene-love love the new cut and that color was sooo pretty. lisa-eh. her whole ensemble just seemed like she didn't really care about this reunion thing. and deshawn-she just tried to do too much i think. it was right at the cute level and she pushed it over into not that cute anymore. better luck next time</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">kim</span>: 1) i'm going to go ahead and say she's 39, she threw out that number like it was a joke, but it sounds more realistic than 29, soooo... 2) omg to her crocodile tears! whyy are you crying about the cancer that you don't have?? and yes, people do choose to wear wigs, hair pieces, etc. . .what are you talking about?? 3) heaven help us all if she really has an album to come out in january. please let that have been another one of her lies. 4) i told you guys a while ago that she would get dumped for not playing her position. and whyy did she lie as if there wasn't footage that shows her saying that big poppa asked not to be named?? we know you don't have any discretion, kim. that idea would not have come from you.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">deshawn</span>: omg, o-m-g. she is cute and all, seems very sweet, and hasn't done anything to anyone but that child is SLOW! did you see her blank stares throughout the show?? she just sat with her hands neatly folded, smiling when she thought it was time, daydreaming about gaudy oscar statues. and the host really threw her off when he asked her a question outside of her designated 'segment'. they had to rescue her, she had already started flailing her feet in an effort to stall for time. poor thing. it doesn't help that she can't close her mouth bc of all the money and time she's invested in getting all of her top teeth to be the same size. you just want to hug her and send her back home. there, there shawni.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">sheree</span>: umm, it's really like her to have ripped her oddly long, short sleeve sweater dress and have tried to play it off like it was fashion. . .so that's what i'm going to say happened. did anyone else notice the hole on her shoulder-neck area?? besides the fact that it was assymetrical and hole-looking, i kept waiting for her to move that 'tail so i could see the other side to see if maybe i was wrong--there wasn't a hole on the other side! i really think she tried to fool us! there was a hole in her dress! and how guilty do you sound when someone accuses you of being a gold-digger and you reply 'what is a gold digger?' puh. leez. lemme hand you a mirror. and she her groupie kim are such liars--she still can't even say with a straight face that it was an accident that nene was left off that party list. ugh, i cannot stand sheree.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">lisa </span>aka 'i am the <span style="font-style: italic;">wrong </span>one!' aka 'i will flip you over this couch, really'. i believe her!! besides the fact that she is diesel, she seems a little off. if i was kim, i'd be scared! kim seems not to have learned the cardinal rule of getting in fights with black girls--when they are mad, do NOT turn your back on them, you will get snatched by your hair and dragged to the ground--just bc you think it's over, doesn't mean it's over! anyway, i was less than impressed by lisa's outfit (but i see those boots!!), her makeup was pretty, but everything else left much to be desired. she was cute trying to hold nene back tho--that's a lot of woman to keep back, little lisa! and lol to her prescribing medication to kim! there is nothing wrong with kim that a good old fashioned beat down won't cure. . .too bad we know she'll sue (she's got to be on the hunt for something or someone to support her now that big poppa's gone). i was disappointed to have finally confirmed that she was the one who told about nene's song--but i was glad that she had already apologized and come clean to nene so the hyena sisters couldn't use that against her. and while i loved her reaction, who let the gay boy waste a question by asking about her sharing her husband??</li><li>and saving the best for last, <span style="font-weight: bold;">nene</span>! she was full of quotables, some of my personal faves: "i'll see you outside" "i will wear that wig off your head" "close your legs to married men" "you trashy hooker" "give him my number though"(re anderson cooper's crush! how crazy is that? lol). anyway, nene brought the real, like we all knew she would. i wish she would have put kim on blast and said who big poppa really is. and i thought it was funny when she called kim on that 'chicken' thing and then proceeded to say 'we had lamb and shrimp, thank you very much' lol! and she definitely 'owned' that stripper thing. . .i don't know why people were suprised anyway, she was a single mother and it *is* atlanta where a significant population of women who haven't been formally educated see it as a viable means of putting food in their children's mouths.<br /></li><li>and i have to mention dwight (and how excited am i that he's getting his <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfysTqwPAzI">own show</a>??) 1) why does his weave look better than kim's?? 2) he was really brave to put his hands in kim's hair. . .it looks like it smells and may have occupants 3) loved the way he came on the set and plopped himself between tweedle-lame and tweedle-liar and proceeded not to waste the liquor that had been sitting there all hour. lol</li></ul><span style="font-style: italic;">the better stuff</span>:<br /><ul><li>if you are like me you were waiting for a throwdown!! something happened on the set that made both <a href="http://www.essence.com/news_entertainment/entertainment/articles/lisawukimthreat">lisa </a>and her <a href="http://www.essence.com/news_entertainment/entertainment/articles/edhartwell">husband </a>feel the need to 'clear the air' and talk to essence, among other things, denying allegations that lisa threatened to kill kim and that there was a restraining order. and we know lisa did not flip out and get that mad just from the allegations about the nene song. rumor has it that kim said that lisa was a <a href="http://www.essence.com/news_entertainment/entertainment/articles/kimupdate">"crack whore"</a> and that's why she didn't have her kids. . .and that's what <a href="http://www.essence.com/news_entertainment/entertainment/articles/lisawuhartwellfinal">set her off</a>.</li><li>speaking of lisa's kids, i want to hear more about her abusive relationship with keith sweat. that man knows he's no good. . .</li><li>it has also been said that all of the girls were asked to pose in playboy (can you imagine that job 'hey guys, i love the show! wanna get naked? no? a little naked??') but it seems only kim has agreed, and lisa kinda stabs at her when she <a href="http://www.bossip.com/58797/atl-housewife-lisa-i-am-not-doing-playboy/">says </a>why she herself would never pose for playboy. don't you feel sorry for kim's daughters and their futures?<br /></li><li>there have been rumors that the house nene was in for the show was actually rented for the show (not that i can blame her for not wanting people in her real house, regardless of what it looks like!) and that she and her husband are having financial troubles. i wonder how that's going. . .</li></ul><br />anyway, i'm ready for season 2!! this is such a guilty pleasure. . .there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-86404842415300422092008-11-24T16:06:00.006-05:002008-11-26T10:57:51.350-05:00colorism in 2008<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRa-IrR2tJCpu1cTp6lW3LA9pSFQDJx56qioYwzNdTtSsY_CmmDzulxKrjx0Ft0e4NzPuEUAttR3NtD38PAg47QJpxRfz0TgR6cBWE1i2jeNFkIhxudiyWtkHWFsbdRQZMdiq54JteBwM/s1600-h/Black+Women+Hair+Braiding+Journal.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 244px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRa-IrR2tJCpu1cTp6lW3LA9pSFQDJx56qioYwzNdTtSsY_CmmDzulxKrjx0Ft0e4NzPuEUAttR3NtD38PAg47QJpxRfz0TgR6cBWE1i2jeNFkIhxudiyWtkHWFsbdRQZMdiq54JteBwM/s320/Black+Women+Hair+Braiding+Journal.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272339307037369058" border="0" /></a><br />besides yung berg's recent proclamation about not dating 'dark butts', some real life events, and my watching an old movie where all the love interests were light-skinned, but not necessarily pretty, this is a topic that never seems to stay away long enough. i always longed for the day where people would see colorism as symbolic of the ravages of mental enslavement. where our people would realize that having lighter skin, a skinnier nose, or light eyes does not make you 'better', does not make your 'kids cuter' and doesn't mean you're prettier than your darker featured counterparts. i am admittedly biased in this discussion, i'm a cinnamony color (but will round up if you have a 'chocolate deluxe' wu tang shirt--i really want one!) that no one would consider light-skinned and am proud of it. i grew up around mostly white people so i didn't directly experience colorism as a child--either you were white or you weren't. there was no one to compare hair textures or skin color and make value judgments among the black kids. i somehow still picked up the 'white/light is right' idea at an early age and had to unlearn and unshackle myself. . .but that's a different story.<br />anyway, i just want to know what it's going to take for us to see each other as equally beautiful regardless of hue. when guys are going to stop saying 'you're pretty for a brown girl' or when my eyebrows will stop raising in shock when the love interest in a music video is a pretty brown girl (note i say 'love interest' and not booty shaker--brown girls have always been chosen to shake their booties and be sexualized). when is having features unique to black women (besides a large butt) going to be admired as much as having features that point to having white people in our recent ancestry? and why do we continue to legitimize <span style="font-style: italic;">their</span> beauty standards while they themselves are going under the knife and spending thousands of dollars to look more like <span style="font-style: italic;">us</span>??<br /><br />**i wanted to update after i read the new newsweek with michelle obama on the cover. i feel a special appreciation for michelle (i can't wait to be able to meet her! and will definitely be saving her vogue cover when it comes out) and was secretly pleased the first time i discovered barack had a brown wife. i think she can do so much just by being herself and i'm so excited about the possibilities. the article featured an author chronicling her brunch discussions with her 'sister friends' about what michelle means to them, which i think is right on:<br /><blockquote>our conversation wandered into one area we seldom discuss, even among our families and closest confidantes. Michelle is not only african-american, but brown. real brown. in an era when beauty is often defined on television, in magazines and in moves as fair or white skin, long straight hair and keen features, michelle looks nothing like the supermodels who rule the catwalks or the porcelain faced actresses who hawk must-have cosmetics. yet now she's going to grace the march cover of vogue magazine--the ultimate affirmation of beauty.<br />who and what is beautiful has long been a source of pain, anger, and frustration in the african-american community. in too many cases, beauty for black women (and even black men) has meant fair skin, "good har" and dainty facial features. over the years, african-american icons likelena horne, dorothy dandridge, halle berry and beyonce--while beautiful and talented--haven't exactly represented the diversity of complexions and features of most black women in this country. that limited scope has had a profound effect on the self-esteem of many african-american women. . .</blockquote>there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-56526631622813669412008-11-24T15:14:00.004-05:002008-11-24T15:23:32.783-05:00grown women and chris brown<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXu6cIBF-lqu-yTpz7rvKQzL15fJlbMSVye5IEaYMsGurNNH8-WlMqxuY7gJWBaIMRWclqQcVeuC2LiwBDUFb0wtmFOzJlgeAIFbP0yh7udi4LHWYMnFpbMfEgSMptR24E2bo_U9eoA2Q/s1600-h/chris-brown-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 228px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXu6cIBF-lqu-yTpz7rvKQzL15fJlbMSVye5IEaYMsGurNNH8-WlMqxuY7gJWBaIMRWclqQcVeuC2LiwBDUFb0wtmFOzJlgeAIFbP0yh7udi4LHWYMnFpbMfEgSMptR24E2bo_U9eoA2Q/s320/chris-brown-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272322179306912146" border="0" /></a><br />i was reminded of this topic when i saw how chris brown had cleaned up at the amas: i was able to hold off until 'with you'. . .which is a long time if you think about it. but eventually i had to admit i had a grown woman crush on the barely legal chris brown. it just felt too cliche--can everyone really have a crush on this little boy?? it's not the same thing as my crush on chris paul (whom i affectionately refer to as my pyt), but it's still there. doesn't chris brown just put a smile on your face? he's so talented and sings with such passion about things that he probably shouldn't know about. and he stole my heart when he was on 'punk'd' and showed such protectiveness over his mommy. he's not really built--actually he's tall and lanky, kinda pale, and his teeth are a little big. . .but somehow you end up completely understanding the teeny boppers and their swooning! i even felt like i had to approve of his gf--it wouldn't have been okay for him to be booed up with anyone less than rhianna.<br />it's a really strange phenomenon--but come on ladies, 'fess up, you know have a grown woman crush on c-breezy!there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-15122886216252099072008-11-24T14:34:00.004-05:002008-12-01T13:58:29.287-05:00book review: a mercy by toni morrison *spoiler alert*<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKvvs1Qwy0QUvu2GpvD7RUzrMpMBKMgTUXi3SFu8tC_bnAd-k83BQ6NcYReJcvqpD8Q2Sdq63HkcXwHlxBiL1ua1FqiWq0EjljEcbKUU8ju6ZloilQ4C1JFQaAFmJfwfmPoAzOqff7gUk/s1600-h/mercy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 193px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKvvs1Qwy0QUvu2GpvD7RUzrMpMBKMgTUXi3SFu8tC_bnAd-k83BQ6NcYReJcvqpD8Q2Sdq63HkcXwHlxBiL1ua1FqiWq0EjljEcbKUU8ju6ZloilQ4C1JFQaAFmJfwfmPoAzOqff7gUk/s320/mercy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272310323152131170" border="0" /></a>another of my fiction exceptions is literary greats. . .how can you deprive yourself of toni morrison?<br />anway, so i bought this the day it came out, but i was wary because of her 'stream of consciousness', william faulkner-inspired writing style. you know what i mean, the style that made beloved a much better novel than a movie, because there was sooo much going on that couldn't be translated onto film. . .<br />anway, this book was very good! it was about slavery, but not really. . .and i love books that have a line in them that tells you where the title comes from. albeit, this one was at the end, but that's part of the 'magic'. the most important voice for the foundation and understanding of who i would call the main character was at the end. it was like all the pieces finally came together right in the last few pages.<br />the story is told in a few different viewpoints. as the chapter changes, so does the viewpoint. you have the white master/owner, his mail-order bride, and the rest of the 'family': lina--a native american, sorrow--a shipwreck survivor, and florens--the 'main character' whose mother offered her to the white man. this 'offering' is what shapes florens' personality and exposes her vulnerability. although florens is introduced to us as a potentially vulnerable character, you can forget about her vulnerabilities. . .until you can't. she is introduced as a slave child with the hands of a slave, but the feet of a portuguese lady--she has a thing for shoes and refuses to walk barefoot. there are also two white men--indentured servants--whom we learn about but don't really meet until you think all of the 'introductions' are done. there is also the blacksmith, who, while he doesn't have a 'chapter' is still an important character. he is both florens' shoes and shoes removed throughout the story (umm, is he alive and injured? or is he dead?).<br />the benefit of the time period of this story is that the idea of 'slavery united states' is still forming--the master, jacob vaark, doesn't like 'dealing in flesh' in there are other ways to make oneself rich. he is a kind, but pragmatic man when it comes to people and perhaps is given too much credit for being kind, when sometimes it is just pragmatism that he is displaying. anyway, instead of being a book about slavery, it is a book about several things, you are distracted from the idea of slavery (and it's not easy to distract someone like me from the idea of slavery!) with talk of other things--religion, death, smallpox, and character development--toni definitely makes you reach for scraps to form images of the characters. i still don't think i have even a muddy picture about what florens looks like.<br />i liked the book and would recommend it, but if i were to waste 3 wishes on this book, I would wish the book was longer, i wish for more character development, and i wish for a happy ending.<br />too bad t-mo's not a genie!!there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-4443110312066469932008-11-17T12:20:00.005-05:002008-11-17T17:02:27.272-05:00book review: midnight by sister souljah *spoiler alert*<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilyk-fsRnvs3FPFCqwyqyIyWeNkjoWO0Aexe3nlqpW_aqPRfgGpZUixfS9F7tI59TH42rBqBc3J_jFUg_FFcPCogTWY9swas6m6l0O9AeFvD_krFDO56YdCLJxXM9KgbebbG9o2G1DxZo/s1600-h/midnight.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilyk-fsRnvs3FPFCqwyqyIyWeNkjoWO0Aexe3nlqpW_aqPRfgGpZUixfS9F7tI59TH42rBqBc3J_jFUg_FFcPCogTWY9swas6m6l0O9AeFvD_krFDO56YdCLJxXM9KgbebbG9o2G1DxZo/s320/midnight.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269677810211267122" border="0" /></a>had i not been so excited about re-living my freshman year experience with my 3c girls and winter santiaga, i might have waited for some reviews of this book so that i would know what to expect. . .but i couldn't wait. i bought it the day it came out and began reading. i don't normally read fiction books (i'm planning a revolution, remember? besides, i get enough fiction and junk entertainment thrown at me on a regular basis anyway) but i make a few exceptions. this was one of them.<br />after reading sister souljah's <a href="http://www.blackvoices.com/blogs/2008/11/14/sister-souljah-speaks-on-midnight/">explanation </a>of her book, i realize that i went into it all wrong. it even took me until akemi's third or fourth appearance to remember that the subtitle of the book was 'a gangster love story'. i was hoping for a winter sighting somewhere before it ended, wondering how sister souljah was going to make him grow all the way up before the end of the book. i admit to calling it a 'sequel' to coldest winter ever once or twice. all that to say, i have always liked sister souljah's writing--clear and descriptive, word choice very deliberate, but i can't say i loved this book.<br /><ul><li>i HATED the pictures--the little boy that they have pictured throughout this book is not what my mind says midnight looks like. part of the intrigue of the intial character is that he looked different to every woman who read it. you can't ruin that with pictures of a boy who is far from fine! if she would have let me imagine akemi for myself, she too would have been way more beautiful than the girl in the pictures. but nooooo!</li><li>also, despite the fact that this little boy had been exposed to things that made him wise beyond his years, by no stretch of the imagination is this book about a 14 year old. it is too hard to imagine midnight as a 14 year old knowing, doing, and seeing all that he does. nearly impossible. i had to make up my own age for him to avoid the cognitive dissonance that would have resulted from me trying to make him 14</li><li>i did appreciate how well researched the cultures in the book were. you can tell that sister souljah spent time researching the various cultures and religions presented and took deliberate care in delivering the descriptions to her audience--sometimes to the point of overkill, but still a nice touch. i absolutely love the idea of a male being so protective of the women in his life and of how the early influence of a father and other strong males can be so important and influential.<br /></li><li>i didn't like the way black american females were portrayed in this book. ss says she was trying to show black women that they had to be 'more' and have more to compete with in this global economy, but the point was lost on me. not one of the black american females midnight comes across is anything other than exaggeration and caricature. the one he does take the time to interact with, 'bangs', deserves a story of her own--i especially didn't like how ss left it in the air and let midnight get away with being able to judge bangs for being a victim of incestuous rape. it is still lost on me how midnight can think it worth the trouble to communicate his religion and way of life with someone he can't even verbally communicate with or understand, but thought it was a waste of time to try to educate any of the black females he came across. he even chose akemi over sudana--who understood him, his culture, and his religion perfectly. it is as if ss is giving black men an excuse to not want to date or marry the women who are more like them, like she's giving them an excuse to be embarassed and/or flee from what the type of women who shaped them. or maybe she is trying to tell black women to be more submissive and quiet? i'm lost. . .<br /></li><li>it is wholly unrealistic for someone to fall in love and marry someone whom they have seen no more than 10 times and can't communicate with without an interpreter. this relationship is far too mature. . .then, as if to simplify it all, when they finally do get married, it seems like they just rushed to get married so midnight could feel okay about having sex with her. their relationship couldn't really deepen because they still can't talk to each other, now they are simply playing charades and having sex in his mother's apartment. and it creeped me out when his mother talks about akemi glowing now that they've had sex. furthermore, the last thing they need is to have a baby!<br /></li><li>most of all, i don't like books that aren't full stories. you have 498 pages--tell me a full story. end in a period and not an ellipse. it's not fair. if you want to write another book to pick up where this one ended, fine. . .but end this one! she didn't even have the decency to tell us what the letter said or even what happened to his father (btw, were his other wives just thrown out on the street? no one said anything about them coming to the united states)</li></ul>anyway, i suppose i'll be stuck reading the next one, whenever it comes out--maybe. i mean, part of me wants to know what happens next, but part of me never took the relationship seriously enough to care about what happens to it. maybe if the next one starts with akemi being able to speak english. . .or even arabic, i will feel like reading it.there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-23453692074732824642008-11-13T11:38:00.003-05:002008-11-13T13:56:39.479-05:00musings on housewives. episodes 5 & 6<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCx9QGC2zPLrOtanEVvNLtPiw2kJJ79GUasW0i83G7WpPEPUvXcNrifdnUmwCvrtckCOcsG9jOaTnXYLy_iiLFy5DttC_HeczBq1AHmI071lAYK38pEr3GSluIvZyxsTy3H6UdzSjweM/s1600-h/425.real.housewives.atl.062608.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCx9QGC2zPLrOtanEVvNLtPiw2kJJ79GUasW0i83G7WpPEPUvXcNrifdnUmwCvrtckCOcsG9jOaTnXYLy_iiLFy5DttC_HeczBq1AHmI071lAYK38pEr3GSluIvZyxsTy3H6UdzSjweM/s320/425.real.housewives.atl.062608.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268184738958696930" border="0" /></a>since i got played last week and couldn't watch the re-airing of the show during my normal time, i had to watch last week's episode and this week's episode back to back--it was like feeding an addiction! even after watching two episodes, i didn't want it to go off! i can't believe next week is the last episode :( but i heard there is going to be d-r-a-m-a at the reunion show! so at least i have that to look forward to!<br />anyway, i might get the episodes mixed up, but here are my thoughts:<br /><ul><li>i know people have showed me 'documentation' that kim is really 29, but i'm still not believing it--i know 'white cracks', but botox every 6 months from the time you're 24?? okay kim, you might have been getting botox for 5 years, but at least concede that you were older than 24 5 years ago. have mercy. and what is with white women acting like botox is candy or something--are you gonna get some? you should try it!<br /></li><li>i ♥ nene's gbf, with his 'prettiest feet he's ever seen on a man'. . .he is full of classics. 'what do you call a fashion show with no fashion? nuthin'. . .i call it nuthin' lol! hilarious. . .</li><li>speaking of which. . .why was sheree trying to act like she wasn't embarassed by the lack of fashion at her fashion show. umm, if you're not embarassed, you should be! if you were having a party or an art exhibition, call it that. . .not a fashion viewing. also, i am SO mad at her for patting herself on the back like she was spending her own money to do this line--umm, where did you work to earn said money? it is your <span style="font-style: italic;">husband's</span> money that is funding this line, sweetie.</li><li>i also want to know if sheree's daughter ever got her piece of apple. . .i've already mentioned that i'm nervous that these kids are being traumatized by their mothers' narcissm, but i really worry about sheree's kids.<br /></li><li>i know we all see it in our every day lives. . .but this show makes it so clear that some people never mature past high school. maybe if they actually had lives and business there wouldn't be so much gossiping and foolishness, but then again, there wouldn't be a show either. lol. kim and sheree are the worst wanna-be mean girls ever--and i think of deshawn as that dumb blonde girl from the movie. she just seems slow to me.<br /></li><li> i really want to know who told sheree about nene's drunk song (nene was SO into her song though, we even got a direct look into the camera! and dare i say she sounded better than kim!). to me, the obvious choice was deshawn, besides the fact that i think she has no business and just wants to create some, lisa seems so anti-drama. i know i'm biased, but she just doesn't seem like the type to turn around and quote the drunk song to sheree, knowing it would get back to kim. so of course deshawn's actions, trying to fix everything afterward just seemed guilt-driven (btw, kim is SO wrong for hanging up the phone on her!). but by the end of the episode, i wasn't really sure. . .say it ain't so lisa!<br /></li><li>the husbands are pretty funny to me. . .nene's poor husband just gave up on trying to keep her under control after a while, and i really like lisa and ed's relationship--they seem like such good friends and he follows the girl drama so well!</li><li>lol to lisa swimming in her coverup. . .without getting her face in the water so she wouldn't mess up her makeup<br /></li><li>kim. oh kim. 1) big girls don't send text messages! if you have something to say, at least call! you know you only get 160 characters in a text message--your attempt to tell nene about herself loses its force by the 4th screen. 2) cat doesn't have a k in it. . .forget the abc's of music, you need to learn the abc's, period. 3) nene is right. . .you <span style="font-style: italic;">aren't</span> friends with dallas austin, big poppa is! he is cordially nice to you out of the fact that his pockets are being padded while you tone-deafly mumble through studio time and because he can get a little tv time while doing so (ps-is it just me, or is rosa mexicana SO overrated). 4) it goes without saying, so i didn't want to say it, but i just have to emphasize how much kim <span style="font-weight: bold;">cannot</span> sing--boo to her groupie sheree for saying her singing in the car sounded good (and where did she get that glass of wine she had in the car?? it wasn't even a red cup, it was a real wine glass!) 5) i did not need to know that you don't wear panties. . .neither did the rest of the world--you have daughters! it's time for some discretion. . .we could all look at you and tell you were classless and trashy, no need for specifics. maybe nene is right. . .maybe your wig <span style="font-style: italic;">is </span>too tight!<br /></li><li>umm, why did you guys fumble through taking that little boat to an island. . .and then complain about everything that makes an island?? 'omg eww is that a clam?' 'eww, there's sand blowing on me!' 'ugh. the sun!' what exactly did you think you would find when you got to the island??</li><li>poor deshawn's little fundraiser with the gaudy oscars is going to be the running joke of the show!<br /></li><li>i don't think i've said it before, but i LOVE the purple dress nene wears in her little intro scene. . .someone tell me where to get it!</li><li>speaking of nene, i know she's earned a place in people's hearts because she makes them laugh. . .but after finding out more about her life, do you get the feeling that she's a 'laugh to keep from crying' type of person? i wonder if maury has called to offer to have her on his show yet. . .</li></ul>oh ladies.there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-25058591364918470852008-11-11T11:52:00.008-05:002008-11-11T16:38:47.811-05:00we're not done yet!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIgMwhcwYHgHl-1Y6xvnkrq3m9Fh1ZHpTNJWHmQq8_KVvYQIszj6sFUEurLQud080wYLnM8UYkJLVobn0HN7QGMSuj3iWs-egZgR5RGNwDMu_gZ9_t7aVz2PYg4wR7ceJD-No6grGAfw/s1600-h/progress.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 184px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIgMwhcwYHgHl-1Y6xvnkrq3m9Fh1ZHpTNJWHmQq8_KVvYQIszj6sFUEurLQud080wYLnM8UYkJLVobn0HN7QGMSuj3iWs-egZgR5RGNwDMu_gZ9_t7aVz2PYg4wR7ceJD-No6grGAfw/s320/progress.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267491382179322498" border="0" /></a><br />i had been hearing whispers even before election day about what a 'president obama' would mean for america. . .outside of ending the past 8 years of turmoil, what would it mean for race relations? i had heard jokes about white people voting for him out of guilt, as their sort of atonement for slavery and how they would feel pardoned if he won. then i read <a href="http://www.manhattan-institute.org/html/miarticle.htm?id=3374">this article</a> by one of my least favorite black people, john mcwhorter, and it made me think even more. i am afraid of what this election means to those who don't truly understand. . .yes, jfk predicted that this would happen, but while this says something about race relations, it doesn't say much about racism. barack obama being president does not mean racism is dead. i repeat, racism is still alive and well.<br />how do i know? i live it every day, i watch it on the news. . .and i watched this campaign. i watched the way barack had to tread carefully over certain issues, how he couldn't get too angry for fear of appearing like the angry menacing black man of the stereotypes, how he couldn't stoop to mccain's level of mudslinging--even if he had wanted to, how he had to be 10 times smarter than his opponent--who still won too many states simply off the strength of being white, his wife had to be 10 times more on point, his kids 10 times cuter. i know you all got the email comparing the credentials of the candidates then asked if the race would even be close if barack was white. i'm sure you've heard the rumblings that barack is the antichrist (as a matter of fact it's a suggested google search if you search his name!) or that he is muslim and/or a terrorist (because evidently they are the same thing).<br />i also wondered how much barack's complexion played a role in this election. . .i wonder if america would have been ready for a mandigo chocolate type of brotha, or if barack's half whiteness was needed to sooth anxieties.<br />another thing that john mcwhorter seems to miss in his article is that, although we can't control individuals and their private racist thoughts, it is dangerous for those in power situations to have those thoughts--thoughts turn to actions and actions turn into discrimination. . .or worse. i mean, i don't care if you hate black people, as long as that hate stays confined in your little brain and household. i digress. . .<br />anyway, what this doesn't mean:<br /><ul><li> that just because this black person can reach the top of his career that the rest of us can too--the glass ceiling is still a reality<br /></li><li>he will be welcomed with open arms all over this nation <a href="http://www.sowetan.co.za/News/Article.aspx?id=880867">or others</a>,<br /></li><li>every little black boy or girl who aspires to be president will be able to do so,<br /></li><li>the next white president will have to be half as qualified as barack,<br /></li><li>barack won't encounter racism and hatefulness just because he's black</li><li>that barack's bar to meet isn't higher than mccain's would have been and that people aren't waiting for him to fail so they can say 'i told you so'</li><li>that the stereotypes won't abound and we won't have to hear speculations about him offering chicken, greens, and watermelon at official functions or that people will expect him to show up on 'cp time'</li><li>reparations for slavery have been paid or affirmative action is no longer needed<br /></li><li>it doesn't mean that on november 5, 2008, racial profiling ceased to exist. or if barack obama was driving alone in the right parts of the country that he wouldn't get pulled over for being that dark kinda light, fat kinda skinny, tall kinda short, black male suspect. or that if he had on a hat and sunglasses an was walking alone, some white woman wouldn't clutch her purse as he passed.</li><li>that they will leave him alone now. . .let the character assailing begin.<br /></li></ul>sigh, the list could go on, but i just hate the implication that all is well with the world and race relations now that this amazing black man is in the white house. however, on a happier note, what it does mean:<br /><ul><li>there are black role models in the white house--a real cosby show, almost!</li><li>they are positioned to <a href="http://www.theroot.com/id/48788">help get rid of</a> some of the negative stereotypes that plague our community</li><li>the blogs and news will talk about them as much as, if not more than the smoked out, rehab-comfy celebrities that currently sweep the news coverage</li><li>it has made, as whoopi put it, black people feel like we could finally put down our suitcases and finally call this place home. black people finally feel like part of the political process, like this president can actually speak for them.<br /></li><li>they have shown that the nice guy can finish last and that 'you can pay for school but you can't buy class'. . .and class speaks for itself</li><li>michelle shows black women everywhere that you can balance career, a loving 16-year relationship, 2 well behaved kids, a nice shape, and a cute wardrobe. . .all while wearing a smile, but never losing touch with reality</li></ul>this election was inspirational, broke a lot of barriers, and changed history books. . .but let's not pretend like it transported us to a country free of racism, that wasn't founded on the premise of white supremacy. it is progress. . .not the end goal. maybe one day. . .there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-91684870775434289702008-11-10T11:53:00.004-05:002008-11-10T14:12:13.180-05:00the doubly disadvantaged<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4uiiIevWq_dJSaG1iSeE9ABdN7SuEuYC6zMmX-WVllT-TUiXusk_GuqQyCXOWY5699S6CCnAvzHZXhN4JxIkncsED_G1s9uGhSy8txwXVblikTOoMTobK3fwJs6p1Lbz_ckscCeS807E/s1600-h/michelleobama.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4uiiIevWq_dJSaG1iSeE9ABdN7SuEuYC6zMmX-WVllT-TUiXusk_GuqQyCXOWY5699S6CCnAvzHZXhN4JxIkncsED_G1s9uGhSy8txwXVblikTOoMTobK3fwJs6p1Lbz_ckscCeS807E/s320/michelleobama.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267081835258737922" border="0" /></a>the issue of sex and race have been at the forefront of this past election. never before have we had the experience of having a black person and a woman named to both of the major party tickets in this country at the same time. while i was observing the celebrations of president obama's historic victory and reflecting on the fact that he earned 95% of the black vote, i was thinking about that <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUfGuMDYRDU">crazy black woman</a> from the democratic primaries who was crying about hillary's loss and saying she may not vote for the first time since she's been 18. without reliving the incredulity of the moment, i was moved to consider black women and their allegiances. we've been branded the "doubly disadvantaged" for being both a racial and sexual minority--the double layered glass ceiling, if you will. and i've had several interesting conversations with people about whether they consider themselves black first or a woman first.<br />personally, it has never been a hard decision for me--while my ancestors were being beaten and lynched, white women were sitting sipping lemonade on their slave-owner daddy's porches, sure they had their own issues, but far removed from the pains of being black in this nation founded on the premise of white superiority. this was made even clearer when i got to ivy league law and easily interacted with other black law students (despite our various cultural and social backgrounds and the fact that i was one of only about 4 hbcu grads there during my whole 3 year experience), but never found myself throwing myself into the activities, causes (sure we needed a more diverse faculty--but i had trouble complaining about the fact that there were only 20 women professors, when i knew there were only 2 black ones), or meetings of the women's association. as far as i could tell, many of the white women were no more like me than their male counterparts, with the exception of a few body parts. i know of 2 people who seemed as involved in blsa as in the women's association and i was duly fascinated by their ability to do so.<br />you see, it's not that i ever for a second underestimate the struggles associated with being a woman. i know it's hard and i know we've had to fight for our rights and the ability to sit at the table with the big boys. . .but i also know that i have womanly struggles and stereotypes that are unique to black women.<br />historically, black women were forced to put their 'women issues' on the back burner for the advancement of the race--we knew that the men would have to be able to walk through the door first and we were counting on them to bring them with us. the struggle for voting rights, for example, would have taken much longer if we had insisted on all of us having them at the same time. many black women have learned to see the uplifting of our race in tandem with the uplifting of "us" in general.<br />all this to say, i suspect this is why mccain didn't sway as many black women with the 'palin choice'--we can easily look at her and not see ourselves. and i was wondering 1) how hillary would have gone about wooing the black women voters--or if she would have taken us for granted, would it have been because of our democraticness or because of our womanness and 2) would black woman have been celebrating in the streets the way white women surely would have been at the announcement of a hillary presidential victory?there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-166202357975161416.post-74333027006281055162008-11-05T12:13:00.009-05:002008-11-05T14:02:47.194-05:00yes we did!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCz8KhKIHrlrO4LW2MPIeCSSD-2IghIgpfvGulCFmIwDfZpEyWJ4fvXFnwqel5r5qg5CToLBKiufDd8AfbAJZ7nti-iKPVLLB_MSdsIAk_ehcRL_5lIXPaN3t0QMQFnPnkI2vre-SuUbs/s1600-h/evening-standard-uk-4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCz8KhKIHrlrO4LW2MPIeCSSD-2IghIgpfvGulCFmIwDfZpEyWJ4fvXFnwqel5r5qg5CToLBKiufDd8AfbAJZ7nti-iKPVLLB_MSdsIAk_ehcRL_5lIXPaN3t0QMQFnPnkI2vre-SuUbs/s200/evening-standard-uk-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265243411043897602" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3hmGZkgb4z7nfMC24YDR8Uyl7TAr04HR9DwP_8I4x9pKdWYbBTgci9qHRP6ci12FweK5xBqsgWWnZDcu8D0C0XF7Zbw_5XiDj4L7As7LRFFr3NhTgoGes5o3ETgg7UGWtd_sItRKC0Vs/s1600-h/obama_speech_71821b.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 136px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3hmGZkgb4z7nfMC24YDR8Uyl7TAr04HR9DwP_8I4x9pKdWYbBTgci9qHRP6ci12FweK5xBqsgWWnZDcu8D0C0XF7Zbw_5XiDj4L7As7LRFFr3NhTgoGes5o3ETgg7UGWtd_sItRKC0Vs/s200/obama_speech_71821b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265243228170040690" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BzI43voWNdQx3pODJK4f83kz_Q7FkTBzC_9HdOLoZMCw7344S1EwQh8xS-qXCR-XyvM51ThITNx5jFMot8K2KbOPh5f3uQGuO2IQqJoyACMjIqyHiBxdFo9m5iNw-n94BL6A7OSHGiI/s1600-h/obama211.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 146px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BzI43voWNdQx3pODJK4f83kz_Q7FkTBzC_9HdOLoZMCw7344S1EwQh8xS-qXCR-XyvM51ThITNx5jFMot8K2KbOPh5f3uQGuO2IQqJoyACMjIqyHiBxdFo9m5iNw-n94BL6A7OSHGiI/s200/obama211.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265243079755901170" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />as one paper put it, "the united states decisively elects its first black president". words cannot describe how i feel. . .or the outpouring of energy all over the nation--especially in black neighborhoods. this isn't just about what we know mr. president will do for this nation, it's about the way history books will look from now on, it's about the inspiration for little black girls and little black boys. . .and black families, and it's about nice guys finishing first and what happens when we all come together. don't you have chills??<br /><ul><li>i don't have the mean feeling toward mccain that i've had for these past 21 months after hearing his <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/04/mccain.transcript/">speech<br /></a></li><li>i felt like mlk jr was there (again) while listening to barack's <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/the-full-text-of-barack-obamas-victory-speech-993008.html">speech</a>. and how awe-inspiring is it that we can say that this man was elected, not for the color of his skin, but for the content of his character. (and aww to michelle being his best friend of 16 years. i'm so in love with their love)</li><li>speaking of michelle--she is going to be the classiest thing to ever live in the white house. it is SUCH deliciously sweet icing on the cake that she is going to be our first lady. take that all you negative stereotypes about black women!</li><li>speaking again of michelle--her fashion is so hit or miss these days--we need to get her a gbf. . .i didn't love her dress last night. at. all.</li><li>i can hardly wait to see sasha and malia playing on the lawn with their new puppy!</li><li>can you believe that he won florida AND virgina?? and he got more popular votes in nc. . .and for the first time in lord knows how long, even texas and south carolina were really close right up until the end! it is nothing short of amazing. maybe, as my friend overheard someone say last night, "God must be a democrat"</li><li>food for thought. . .do we pay for our president? i know you got all those emails asking for money and saying how important money is to the campaign and what they are able to do. i'm not talking about time and effort (yay to everyone who made the grassroots thing a success--it was no easy task!), but money. if we hadn't given barack money, would he have still won?<br /></li><li>after all is said and done, maybe we should thank dubya for screwing everything up so royally. the old folks say 'nothing changes until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing'. . .thanks to dubya, people were so pained that, in a country where they are still lynching people and racism is still alive and well, people were willing to give a black man the chance to make us better.</li></ul>i think i will remember the tears, the screams, the love, the unity, and the overall uplifting feeling of last night forever. . .where were <span style="font-style: italic;">you </span>when it happened??<br /><br />ps--i would so love it if all of my friends could be at the inauguration speech. try to get tix! go <a href="http://www.congress.org/congressorg/directory/congdir.tt">here </a>and find your representative, call them and ask to be put on their list!there she goeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11022723387726740581noreply@blogger.com3