good girls and t.i.

since my last guilty crush ended up being a woman beater, thus taking away some of the qualities that made me like him to begin with, i thought i'd share another guilty crush. i was just listening to one of my new favorite 'hood songs'--'ain't i' by (insert random rapper(s) here) feat t.i. his lil verse just makes the song for me. lol. anyway, it made me think about how much i like t.i.! but i'd like to think it's a little more than the 'good girls like bad boys' thing. i mean, he's not *that* bad, is he?? lol
we all know his 'flow is colder than february' but i really think it's his 'extraordinary swag' that does it for me. he is sooo little and scrawny, he has a tribe of children by various women (he even has two kids who are the same age--who aren't twins! lol), and he is headed for jail in about 22 days. . .but i have a thing for him. lol.
actually, it has to be the swag. he is cool calm and collected, nice to look at (boy does he clean up well), and he has that thug appeal that women like (regardless of whether they will admit it or not), and when he speaks in his southern twang, he actually is saying something! it is not hard to tie together that the best rappers/lyricists are actually really intelligent people, despite what they may rap about.
anyway, t.i. is slightly dangerous, had enough artillery to start ww iii, and has had some shady dealings in his past. but ladies, you can't tell me that when you see him in a suit, doing that thing with his eyebrow, that thing with his lips, or when he laughs/cracks a smile. . .it doesn't make you feel a certain way ;)

is this why they think we're crazy?

i don't know too many females who don't like this song. it's catchy and it has that hip-swaying beat. . .but then there are those who like it because of the words and sentiments (as in 'yeah girl, lemme catch him with some broad up in my house, busting windows won't be the half') . and i don't know too many black men who don't pause and make a face when it comes on--i actually saw a man with a look of horror on his face when this came on in the club the other night and the women got all hype. black women get a bad rap for this (see, 'waiting to exhale') but are we the only ones who take out our emotional pain on their physical objects?? (and i say 'we' meaning my sisters. i have done far too much work/school and my character and fitness is in issue--i'm not trying to do anything that will have me catching a charge. tee hee) and does it have the desired effect? i mean, are our feelings equivalent to his car windows--or do we just think that's the closest we can get?

beware: men ahead

i'm not a man basher. . .i ♥ my bf--even with his imperfections, i can recognize that he is a great guy. it would be an over-generalization and unfair to most of the men in my life to say 'all men are dogs'-- i know that there are lots of great guys out there. . .but i'm also a commitmentphobe (add that to my list of contradictions--a happy girlfriend and a commitmentphobe (although i have a friend who says i'm not so much a commitmentphobe as a drama queen masquerading as a commitmentphobe)) and so little things that suggest imperfect commitments bother me more than they should.
over the past week i've heard 3 different stories about people who are close to me finding out that someone they were dating is married, has a girlfriend, or better yet. . .has a wife and a child. it's too much! now, i feel so bad for my friends, sometimes they have more emotions involved in the situation than they realized--so they feel the avalanche of emotions that come with finding out such information. all of those emotions essentially mean numbness for a few days until they can sort them out. i always wish i could take the pain away, i never know what to say. i just give them extra prayers that night.
but then i can't help but wonder about the wives/girlfriends. i mean if it happened to my friends, the guy has probably done it before and may do it again. and most of the time the significant other (or insignificant as the case may be) has no idea. they are in their blissful bubble thinking that they are with someone who wants to be with them and no one else, at least for the time being. i mean, men these days are manipulative on a whole new level(to the untrained, trusting eye)! they can lead a woman to believe one thing and be someone *completely* different when she turns her back. it is SCARY and it makes me nervous to ever get married. . .to be vulnerable enough that your whole life is attached to someone else, and you don't even really know who he is, and you can't even take for granted that his vows mean that he wants to be with you at the sacrifice of being with all others =/
ptooey to the stupidheads messing it up for the good guys. . .and making the good girls go bad.