a word to the wise

"a wise man once told me, don't argue with fools--people from a distance can't tell who is who"
this is a jay z quote, but the old folks were saying it long before he was (and it kinda comes from Proverbs 26:4-5). i've always liked it--it keeps me from coming out of character quite often, and has prevented me from 'cutting up' in public when someone does something stupid. you know how you feel when you see people getting loud and going off on someone in public. . .
anyway, i was thinking about this earlier today/last night. for those of you who know me, you know this was a big week for me (well, thursday was a big day) david and goliath style. my victory got press coverage in the various online publications of the relevant state. i wanted to see the articles because it was like seeing myself in the paper, but i found some of the comments pretty jarring (someone even made a blog about it). it was amazing how hateful and racist some people were--they deliberately missed the point of the case so that they could espouse their racist views about any and all things dealing with black people. i left a few comments on a few of the sites, trying to clear up some of the misunderstandings and putting the decision in perspective, but when my i left my comment on a particular blog, i just knew it wouldn't be published because it didn't fit in with the racist illogical ranting of the blog's author--and i was right. he didn't want to understand the case or channel his frustrations in the right direction--he just wanted to rant.
so. my question is this--when does trying to educate people turn into futility and 'arguing with fools'? how do you know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em in these types of situations? sometimes it feels wrong to just walk away without saying anything. . .

we're not done yet!

i had been hearing whispers even before election day about what a 'president obama' would mean for america. . .outside of ending the past 8 years of turmoil, what would it mean for race relations? i had heard jokes about white people voting for him out of guilt, as their sort of atonement for slavery and how they would feel pardoned if he won. then i read this article by one of my least favorite black people, john mcwhorter, and it made me think even more. i am afraid of what this election means to those who don't truly understand. . .yes, jfk predicted that this would happen, but while this says something about race relations, it doesn't say much about racism. barack obama being president does not mean racism is dead. i repeat, racism is still alive and well.
how do i know? i live it every day, i watch it on the news. . .and i watched this campaign. i watched the way barack had to tread carefully over certain issues, how he couldn't get too angry for fear of appearing like the angry menacing black man of the stereotypes, how he couldn't stoop to mccain's level of mudslinging--even if he had wanted to, how he had to be 10 times smarter than his opponent--who still won too many states simply off the strength of being white, his wife had to be 10 times more on point, his kids 10 times cuter. i know you all got the email comparing the credentials of the candidates then asked if the race would even be close if barack was white. i'm sure you've heard the rumblings that barack is the antichrist (as a matter of fact it's a suggested google search if you search his name!) or that he is muslim and/or a terrorist (because evidently they are the same thing).
i also wondered how much barack's complexion played a role in this election. . .i wonder if america would have been ready for a mandigo chocolate type of brotha, or if barack's half whiteness was needed to sooth anxieties.
another thing that john mcwhorter seems to miss in his article is that, although we can't control individuals and their private racist thoughts, it is dangerous for those in power situations to have those thoughts--thoughts turn to actions and actions turn into discrimination. . .or worse. i mean, i don't care if you hate black people, as long as that hate stays confined in your little brain and household. i digress. . .
anyway, what this doesn't mean:

• that just because this black person can reach the top of his career that the rest of us can too--the glass ceiling is still a reality
  
• he will be welcomed with open arms all over this nation or others,
  
• every little black boy or girl who aspires to be president will be able to do so,
  
• the next white president will have to be half as qualified as barack,
  
• barack won't encounter racism and hatefulness just because he's black
• that barack's bar to meet isn't higher than mccain's would have been and that people aren't waiting for him to fail so they can say 'i told you so'
• that the stereotypes won't abound and we won't have to hear speculations about him offering chicken, greens, and watermelon at official functions or that people will expect him to show up on 'cp time'
• reparations for slavery have been paid or affirmative action is no longer needed
  
• it doesn't mean that on november 5, 2008, racial profiling ceased to exist. or if barack obama was driving alone in the right parts of the country that he wouldn't get pulled over for being that dark kinda light, fat kinda skinny, tall kinda short, black male suspect. or that if he had on a hat and sunglasses an was walking alone, some white woman wouldn't clutch her purse as he passed.
• that they will leave him alone now. . .let the character assailing begin.
  

sigh, the list could go on, but i just hate the implication that all is well with the world and race relations now that this amazing black man is in the white house. however, on a happier note, what it does mean:

• there are black role models in the white house--a real cosby show, almost!
• they are positioned to help get rid of some of the negative stereotypes that plague our community
• the blogs and news will talk about them as much as, if not more than the smoked out, rehab-comfy celebrities that currently sweep the news coverage
• it has made, as whoopi put it, black people feel like we could finally put down our suitcases and finally call this place home. black people finally feel like part of the political process, like this president can actually speak for them.
  
• they have shown that the nice guy can finish last and that 'you can pay for school but you can't buy class'. . .and class speaks for itself
• michelle shows black women everywhere that you can balance career, a loving 16-year relationship, 2 well behaved kids, a nice shape, and a cute wardrobe. . .all while wearing a smile, but never losing touch with reality

this election was inspirational, broke a lot of barriers, and changed history books. . .but let's not pretend like it transported us to a country free of racism, that wasn't founded on the premise of white supremacy. it is progress. . .not the end goal. maybe one day. . .

aren't they called 'personals' for a reason?

i was recently involved in a discussion with a young lady who went to great lengths to poke fun at the way people in a section of personal ads phrased their requests (an example "3) SEXY BLACK FEMALE SEEKS SEXY WHITE MALE
My Spin – "Simply put...I’m not that sexy…not even pretty really...but I’ve run out of options in my race and am getting a bit desperate."). she concluded by saying that she was trying to say that people should stop stereotyping in their personal ads by indicating a racial preference. she says that race has no place in your search for your mate. . .now, i was (and still am) lost in how the aforementioned example shows this, but i digress. i felt i had to respond--i definitely do have a racial preference and there is nothing wrong with that. having a racial preference doesn't mean i'll like every black man or turn away every white man. it is a starting point at which i would begin if i were to place a personal ad--i feel a certain level of unspoken comfort in the presence of most black people (male or female) that i don't with many other races. of course this can change the more you get to know people--the superficial attracts you but doesn't keep you, but this is my initial impression, my initial attraction, my personal preference. i am not ashamed to admit that my 'fairy tale' is a strong black family unit (a la barack, michelle, malia, and sasha) full of black love--the type that was intentionally destroyed in slavery and is seldom seen in society today. i resented her implying i was wrong for that.
she called indicating a racial preference 'reverse racism' and said that we can't say we want workplaces free from racism if we don't do away with it in our personal relationships. 1) having a racial preference is not racism--i can prefer one group without being racist 2) no one has a 'right' to date me. . .who i date affects me and that person. no one else. that's like saying i don't get to choose whether to date an ugly person--if they approach i must accept 3) the ability to work and exercise other rights in this country *shouldn't* be impeded by racism, and part of the reason there are laws protecting this right is about power differentials and survival in this capitalistic society founded one white supremacy. . .i would dare we don't need to guard against that in the 'mating dance' of modern day dating. i am not keeping other people from dating who they want, judging them for doing so, or saying that they are wrong for being so 'open'.
it really bothered me to have vigilante 'colorblind' people implying that i'm wrong for celebrating black love and all that it has overcome to exist and wanting it for myself. it is *my* relationship, right??

heeere we go

so, i know it was only a matter of time before people brought out the chicken and watermelon, but what makes this one so absurd is that these people are saying it's not racist--here we have barack surrounded by chicken, ribs, watermelon, and kool aid (red, of course) on a food stamp, but the person who made it has her family members saying it's not racist. 'who says those are negative african american stereotypes?' they stutter 'i mean, *i* like chicken' sputters the woman's daughter. the daughter even goes so far to say that her mother can't be racist because she's married to a mexican. since this is the second time in two weeks i've heard something like this stated, let me clarify for the ignorants out there--you can be racist and discriminatory against black people and no one else. i don't know if it's better or worse to be an 'equal opportunity racist' but the point is, you don't have to be--you can be selectively racist.
this is just one more thing adding fuel to the fire of racism burning across this country in regard to this election--at least she's not threatening his life. . .yet.
i'm so nervous for him. . .i might even join this lawsuit. lol