musings on housewives. episode 4

so beyond the fact that it's getting hard to find new pictures of the group, i think lisa deserves a solo shot because she is my favorite. i've told people from the beginning how i like her because 1) she seems the most genuine and the least showy 2) she actually works and seems to understand the value of a dollar more than the others and 3) she seems to have actual friends and not be obsessed with the 'lifestyle' she has been afforded. i mean, we had two episodes revolving around deshawn's auction and it didn't even do well, whereas lisa shows her 'don't speak about it, be about it' attitude and sneaks up on us with a jewelry trunk show that lands her an even bigger opportunity and a photo shoot with derek blanks--which she killed! (shout out to derek, btw, for doing those yummy photo shoots of fellow howardite, lance gross). lisa is a hustler, homie!
other thoughts:

• did anyone else not feel sorry for deshawn as she dramatically fled to her bedroom and sobbed in her palatial estate? 1) she doesn't do anything, she has this one event and still feels the need to hire an event planner--umm, aren't you supposed to be the event planner? 2) she spent $30,000 on an event at her house--she didn't even have to rent space, just gaudy oscar statues for outside! then she put 'invites' on countertops in the mall--inviting all of pookie n'em to have free food and drinks at an nfl star's house. . .and was crying because no one bid on her stuff! that was just a party for them--nene and mark hayes (why did they call him by his full name the whole time) were just distracting background noise 3) out of all those dresses, she chose that one to wear?? 4) her husband needs to reign her in in general, or they will be broke in no time.
• kim is as fake and funny looking as her hair. how is nene her best friend and the light of her daughter's life one week then the next week she feels the same way about sheree and nene. . .and is a straight up sheree groupie?? puh-leez.
• umm, is it just me or does sheree have some HUGE hands. . .i'm not ready to say she's a man yet, but imma keep an eye on her. lol
• nene's gbf is off the hook. . .i was so mad at him telling her son 'be you. . .pick what you like' and then saying 'eww, you like that?? that's dreadful' to everything the boy picked out--while trying to turn him into a mini-me and delicately fingering the pink fabrics.
• but lol to him being right about deshawn's auction--he looked like he had smelled something foul when he said 'it's free??? how she expect to make any money like that??'
• kids: what do these women do with their kids while they're out gallavanting?? it seems like those babies see their mothers on tv more than they do in real life!
• umm, lisa's husband has a 'donk. lawdamercy to the red speedo (and lol to lisa like 'you can't just be showing it to everyone! that's mine!')
• someone please tell me what nene has against a bra. . .
  

november 5th etiquette

from an e-mail i received (i like #12--can't you just see that??):

To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:


1. No crying, hugging or shouting 'Thank you Lord' - at least not in public

2 No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses

3 No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters

4 No calling in sick on November 5th. They'll get nervous if too many of us don't show up. (Try to be on time and not your normal late arrival)

5 We're allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.

6. No singing loudly, We've come this Far By Faith (it will be acceptable to hum softly)

7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chitterlings at all) (this may make us seem too ethnic)

8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)

9. No Cupid Shuffle or Electric Slide during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)

10. Please no Moving on Up music (we are going to try to remain humble)

11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you're in your office with the door closed)

12. Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!

13. Just in case you're wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.


If I've missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to
make sure we're all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home
on November 5th.


Now go get your early vote on, drive your cousins to the polls and let's make this thing happen!!!

Like Chris Rock said on Larry King Live last month. If white people need anything done from a Black person on Wednesday Nov 5, 2008 they're wasting their time cause' aint' nothing gettin' done

scared yet?

so we're 6 days away from this historical election--6 days from no more polls, no more commercials, no more mudslinging, and best of all, no more worrying whether people are falling for the okie doke that is mccain/palin.
somehow, life after november 4 seems a little surreal--a kind of, 'now what?'
over the past few days i've heard a few people express fear--i mean, we aren't surprised that the voting machines are acting up (we've seen that before), we know the republicans are shady as ever when they're desperate, and we know that mccain sounds a little too ominous and confident when he says he's sure he's going to win but what we're really secretly afraid of is whether our beloved b-rack will make it to inauguration day.
b-rack is, as always, as cool as the other side of the pillow. he seems to have all the confidence in the world in the secret service and even seems to laugh in the face of the danger--calling these skinhead groups marginalized and saying they aren't really representative of anything at all. but with all of the news about the latest plot on his life, and so close to election day, the initial fear that many black people felt when he first started emerging as a viable candidate is coming back. is america--even the craziest parts--ready for a black president? and how many people are there who are willing to kill him rather than see him run this country? we have seen how mccain rallies look like kkk meetings and heard mccain back his 'patriotic supporters' as they yell 'kill him'--is it naive to think these people will stick to chanting and pouting if--wait, when (yes we can!) mccain loses?
i have said before that i think the black community would feel especially guilty if anything happened to barack--we have been a little nervous from the beginning, our history is filled with moments of watching the ones who stand too tall get chopped down, but we shook that off and pushed him because of all he stands for and hope that this is the 'brighter day' we longed for. i guess we're supposed to take our cue from the man himself--if he's not scared, then we shouldn't let our fears dampen our support. . .after all, there has never been anything false about hope ;)
*prayers for barack, michelle, sasha, and malia*

sigh.

i thought they had caught that old mean, no good short kinda tall, dark kinda light, fat kinda skinny black man after he stole susan smith's kids. . .i guess i was wrong. this poor girl was brutally attacked at an atm in pittsburgh by the same guy!
i mean, i thought the girl was stupid because she was a mccain supporter. . .but it gets better. she not only carves the 'b' that's supposed to stand for barack into her face the wrong way (and would you really lay still enough for an attacker to carve a perfect 'b' into your face??), but she forgets that atms have surveillance and so one of the worst places to make up something like this is at a place like that.
and at the end of the day, what was she really trying to do or prove?? i think she should apologize to all black men. . .
and it has been said that mccain should issue some kind of statement about this incident--but we all know he thinks his supporters are the 'most patriotic' americans and doesn't want anyone saying otherwise. phooey.

musings on housewives. episode 3

so i'm blaming my p-in-i for missing the original airing of the show this week and also for my catching the re-run last night (thanks, boo!) unfortunately once again i have to talk about kim.
this lesson is called 'play your position'. by now it is common knowledge that kim is a jump off. her big poppa is some man with a family somewhere (i guess in atl, but does that mean his actual housewife was too boring to make the show?). here she is on tv, trying to get her 15 secs and is about to blow the level of comfort her jump off status has entitled her to. although the man said he didn't want to be named and so she isn't naming him, you know that if you dangle the bait, the fish will bite. people are going crazy trying to find out who 'big poppa' is. . .all because they don't want us to know. if he gets discovered kim is going to be in trouble. for what? not playing her position. jump offs are not housewives (umm, why didn't the editors catch this? how did a jump off end up on a show about housewives??) and are supposed to be quiet and exercise discretion. i would direct her to the joe budden song, 'pump it up' for instructions on what a jump off is supposed to do. i mean, she was smart enough to get a ballin' 'big poppa' but she's got to know how to keep him.
other thoughts:

• sheree is a hater and seems a tad miserable
  
• nene needs a bra
• i'm mad nene laughed like kim was telling a joke when she was talking about her singing career
  
• nene really told the psychic 'shet up girl'. . .lol
  
• kim's weave is older than 29--why did she look dead in the camera and lie to us--suuuure you're 29. . .plus 8
  
• lol @ record deals for people who hum--but forreal, if you want credibility as a singer, start at home. why don't your friends know you sing?
• why does nene's boo look like he could be her daddy--paternity problem solved!
• i want to go to a make up bar!
  
• why is sheree so self-important??
• lol @ tardy for the party--are those songs the actual makings of a hit record? imma need dallas to get that under control
  
• why did nene act like kim was talking about a 3-headed monster when kim said sheree was pretty? 'really??' lol! i mean, i don't like sheree at all. . .but she didn't deserve that!
  
• i loooove the gbf! that crisp pink shirt. . .you betta do it!
  
• why did nene let aun-tee go on tv looking like a clown =/ (but she looked good for 80, huh?)

stay tuned for next week--by then the world will have discovered who big poppa is! too bad it won't affect the show =/

my life soundtrack

you should try this--it's not easy at all. it's like you want to chose some songs for the mood the beat puts you in and some songs for the actual words--and sometimes you can't narrow it down to one! i'm sure i'll be changing answers later. tee hee

opening credits: there she goes-babyface and pharell
waking up:be-common
average day: superwoman-alicia keys
life's ok: summer-india arie
driving: could you be loved-bob marley
flashback: at your best-aaliyah
falling in love: trouble sleeping-corinne bailey rae (like the commitmenphobe/slight control freak i am); knocks me off my feet-donnell jones; can't take my eyes off of you-lauryn hill
being in love: loving you-minnie ripperton (this is my favorite song of all time); dangerously in love-beyonce
breaking up: me-tamia
wedding: fortunate-lathun
birth of a child: if i could-regina belle
climax/denouement: one mic-nas
partying: get me bodied (the extended version) or check on it-beyonce
fight song: bia bia-lil jon and luda n'em
learning a lesson: (depending on the lesson) this too shall pass-india arie; lesson learned-alicia keys; stonger-christina aguilera
amazing sex scene: can't get enough-tamia; teach u a lesson-robin thicke
mental breakdown: i try-talib kweli and mary j
suicide: king of sorrow-sade
traditional death: kissing u-des'ree
funeral: take a bow-madonna and babyface
closing credits: isn't she lovely-stevie wonder; wanna love you girl-robin thicke and pharell

is this why they think we're crazy?

i don't know too many females who don't like this song. it's catchy and it has that hip-swaying beat. . .but then there are those who like it because of the words and sentiments (as in 'yeah girl, lemme catch him with some broad up in my house, busting windows won't be the half') . and i don't know too many black men who don't pause and make a face when it comes on--i actually saw a man with a look of horror on his face when this came on in the club the other night and the women got all hype. black women get a bad rap for this (see, 'waiting to exhale') but are we the only ones who take out our emotional pain on their physical objects?? (and i say 'we' meaning my sisters. i have done far too much work/school and my character and fitness is in issue--i'm not trying to do anything that will have me catching a charge. tee hee) and does it have the desired effect? i mean, are our feelings equivalent to his car windows--or do we just think that's the closest we can get?