my life soundtrack

you should try this--it's not easy at all. it's like you want to chose some songs for the mood the beat puts you in and some songs for the actual words--and sometimes you can't narrow it down to one! i'm sure i'll be changing answers later. tee hee

opening credits: there she goes-babyface and pharell
waking up:be-common
average day: superwoman-alicia keys
life's ok: summer-india arie
driving: could you be loved-bob marley
flashback: at your best-aaliyah
falling in love: trouble sleeping-corinne bailey rae (like the commitmenphobe/slight control freak i am); knocks me off my feet-donnell jones; can't take my eyes off of you-lauryn hill
being in love: loving you-minnie ripperton (this is my favorite song of all time); dangerously in love-beyonce
breaking up: me-tamia
wedding: fortunate-lathun
birth of a child: if i could-regina belle
climax/denouement: one mic-nas
partying: get me bodied (the extended version) or check on it-beyonce
fight song: bia bia-lil jon and luda n'em
learning a lesson: (depending on the lesson) this too shall pass-india arie; lesson learned-alicia keys; stonger-christina aguilera
amazing sex scene: can't get enough-tamia; teach u a lesson-robin thicke
mental breakdown: i try-talib kweli and mary j
suicide: king of sorrow-sade
traditional death: kissing u-des'ree
funeral: take a bow-madonna and babyface
closing credits: isn't she lovely-stevie wonder; wanna love you girl-robin thicke and pharell

is this why they think we're crazy?

i don't know too many females who don't like this song. it's catchy and it has that hip-swaying beat. . .but then there are those who like it because of the words and sentiments (as in 'yeah girl, lemme catch him with some broad up in my house, busting windows won't be the half') . and i don't know too many black men who don't pause and make a face when it comes on--i actually saw a man with a look of horror on his face when this came on in the club the other night and the women got all hype. black women get a bad rap for this (see, 'waiting to exhale') but are we the only ones who take out our emotional pain on their physical objects?? (and i say 'we' meaning my sisters. i have done far too much work/school and my character and fitness is in issue--i'm not trying to do anything that will have me catching a charge. tee hee) and does it have the desired effect? i mean, are our feelings equivalent to his car windows--or do we just think that's the closest we can get?

movie comment: the secret life of bees *spoiler alert*

i had the privilege of seeing this with some of my faves on its opening weekend. i give it two thumbs up!
i love movies with strong black women, i have liked dakota fanning since she was little, and i like movies that weave in history and, of course, civil rights. so this was a win-win for me. i also like movies that don't spoonfeed you every thought--i like being able to infer character motivations and letting emotions fill in blanks--everything need not be explicitly stated.
random thoughts:

• i think they should have had 'honey' by erykah badu in this movie--all i could think of when a. keys and her boo were on screen was 'i'm in love with a bumble bee. . .' someone should have made that connection! or maybe they did and erykah was too busy being strange to approve
• that wig they had on alicia was *not* the business. that girl has never been that close to that many naps in her whole life!
• the suicide scene was so. . .extra. i did not need to see the rock on her chest. i was already appalled enough at the idea that this movie that i expected to be about bees and flowers and happy stuff was trying to make me cry! spare me the gruesomeness! at most i was expecting someone to get stung by a bee--at MOST.
  
• and tho i was too stubbornly mad at the movie for trying to make me cry to let any tears actually fall, i have to say that it was a tough fight when little dakota broke down crying and talking about how she was unloveable--you could just *feel* the pain. how does a little girl get that good at acting at such a young age??
• i really wanted to see a roach follow marshmallows and graham crackers outside. . .
• is there really such thing as purple honey? i need some. . .
• i wanted to know more about the mean ol' daddy. . .i wanted to be able to feel sorry for him.
• did dakota ever get to wear the dress may was making? it was almost done. . .relatedly, where did she get all those clothes she *was* wearing?? all that didn't fit in that little bag!

*update: my super observant friends have pointed out that she was wearing the dress at the end of the movie. i guess these are the kinds of things you miss when you're distracted by wondering whether this girl is worth that little black boy risking his life--i mean, we love her, but i was a little torn.*

• do people who don't get married because they love themselves/their freedom more than their mate ever regret it?

anyway, i think at least all black people should go out and support this movie--it's coonery free!

just a few words

i have to give a gold star to colin powell--i've had my doubts about him in the past, but yesterday i loved him. not only because of what he said:

he had asked himself: “Which is the President we need now?” Referring to Mr Obama, he continued: “And I come to the conclusion that because of his ability to inspire, because of the inclusive nature of his campaign, because he is reaching out all across America, because of who he is and his rhetorical abilities — and you have to take that into account — as well as his substance — he has both style and substance, he has met the standard of being a successful President, being an exceptional President.

“I think he is a transformational figure. He is a new generation coming . . . on to the world stage and on the American stage. And for that reason I’ll be voting for Senator Barack Obama.”

but because saying so made him just a regular old black man to sooo many republicans and closet racists who used to point to colin and say--of course i would vote for a black man, if barack were colin powell race wouldn't be an issue. many of the comments sections of websites that covered this momentous occasion are filled with hateful racist comments about the the once beloved republican black guy. it was a big move for him, he didn't have to do it and it would have been safer if he hadn't, but he did it.
know what? two gold stars. lol. yay colin!

ps- all of those people who say colin only endorsed him because he was black--or that black people only support barack because he's black, for that matter--sound stupid. we didn't support alan keyes, al sharpton, or jesse jackson the way we have supported barack. we are not stupid. we supported bill clinton and jimmy carter for the same reasons--we vote with our interests. we know that if white america is doing bad, black america is doing worse. colin powell has never been a dummy, he's never done stuff just because people think he should as a black man. but now that he's knocked himself off his pedestal by endorsing barack, people are all of a sudden acting like he can't have an independent thought. phooey.

i love nyc

it seems like every time you encounter someone who has either lived in, or is from new york city, they cannot stop comparing things to the city and talking about how nyc is so much better (there are a few exceptions, but very few). i never thought i would be one of those people. one time, after i just finished talking about how i love dc, my friend said 'i can't wait until she's like that about nyc'. she knew that my 'military bratness' tended to give me an affinity toward anywhere i stayed for 3+ years.
anyway, i was just in nyc last weekend, and though it gave me a reality check from my glamorized memories and made me realize i don't want to move back , but will visit allll the time, i can't help but say. . .i really love nyc. and i've been fighting it, but i also think i'm one of 'those people'. i can't help it, nyc spoils you!

• i was paying $18-23 dollars for a wash and set with my wonderful dominicans; the average in dc is $40 and not so wonderful dominicans
  
• around $20 for a mani-pedi--the cheapest i've found in dc is like $35!
• $6 for my eyebrows--the average in dc is $15!
• i could go eeeenywhere for $2 on the metro--you only have to swipe your card on the way in. in dc they charge you according to where you're going, which also means you have to keep track of your card and swipe it again when you want to exit!
• almost everything is open 24 hours--i love duane reade and the grocery stores for this. i am still getting used to the idea of checking store hours for a grocery store! hmph.
• you can get a bacon egg and cheese on a roll for like $1 every block any time of the day. . .in dc, not so much. the place i go to is like $3 AND you can only get it til 11 (that is, if they don't run out of breakfast stuff before 11!)
• people understand the 'walk on left, stand on the right' rule of the escalator. . .i get so mad in dc when people are standing on the left gazing at the ceiling when i'm in a rush. ugh!
• you don't have to worry about having a designated driver (or the difference between buzzed and drunk driving)--there are millions of them in the city. just remember your address (not even the whole thing, just the cross streets!!) and stumble to a cab.
• i can buy gum underground on the way to the train--and lots of other stuff too!
• and when i'm on the train, people know to move to the center and not block the door and do the annoying things that dc train people do.
• and though i don't think i've ever said it out loud. . .i love a guy who looks a little thuggish (just a little!) with a bk accent. there are lots of those there! lol
• and the sample sales!!! all kinds of great stuff and women in shopping frenzy! can you believe dc tried to charge me to go into a sample sale?? needless to say i haven't had the sample sale experience in dc. hmph.
  

i could go on and on. . .like i said, i'm one of 'those people'

20 things oprah knows for sure. . .that i know too

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

aren't they called 'personals' for a reason?

i was recently involved in a discussion with a young lady who went to great lengths to poke fun at the way people in a section of personal ads phrased their requests (an example "3) SEXY BLACK FEMALE SEEKS SEXY WHITE MALE
My Spin – "Simply put...I’m not that sexy…not even pretty really...but I’ve run out of options in my race and am getting a bit desperate."). she concluded by saying that she was trying to say that people should stop stereotyping in their personal ads by indicating a racial preference. she says that race has no place in your search for your mate. . .now, i was (and still am) lost in how the aforementioned example shows this, but i digress. i felt i had to respond--i definitely do have a racial preference and there is nothing wrong with that. having a racial preference doesn't mean i'll like every black man or turn away every white man. it is a starting point at which i would begin if i were to place a personal ad--i feel a certain level of unspoken comfort in the presence of most black people (male or female) that i don't with many other races. of course this can change the more you get to know people--the superficial attracts you but doesn't keep you, but this is my initial impression, my initial attraction, my personal preference. i am not ashamed to admit that my 'fairy tale' is a strong black family unit (a la barack, michelle, malia, and sasha) full of black love--the type that was intentionally destroyed in slavery and is seldom seen in society today. i resented her implying i was wrong for that.
she called indicating a racial preference 'reverse racism' and said that we can't say we want workplaces free from racism if we don't do away with it in our personal relationships. 1) having a racial preference is not racism--i can prefer one group without being racist 2) no one has a 'right' to date me. . .who i date affects me and that person. no one else. that's like saying i don't get to choose whether to date an ugly person--if they approach i must accept 3) the ability to work and exercise other rights in this country *shouldn't* be impeded by racism, and part of the reason there are laws protecting this right is about power differentials and survival in this capitalistic society founded one white supremacy. . .i would dare we don't need to guard against that in the 'mating dance' of modern day dating. i am not keeping other people from dating who they want, judging them for doing so, or saying that they are wrong for being so 'open'.
it really bothered me to have vigilante 'colorblind' people implying that i'm wrong for celebrating black love and all that it has overcome to exist and wanting it for myself. it is *my* relationship, right??