beware: men ahead

i'm not a man basher. . .i ♥ my bf--even with his imperfections, i can recognize that he is a great guy. it would be an over-generalization and unfair to most of the men in my life to say 'all men are dogs'-- i know that there are lots of great guys out there. . .but i'm also a commitmentphobe (add that to my list of contradictions--a happy girlfriend and a commitmentphobe (although i have a friend who says i'm not so much a commitmentphobe as a drama queen masquerading as a commitmentphobe)) and so little things that suggest imperfect commitments bother me more than they should.
over the past week i've heard 3 different stories about people who are close to me finding out that someone they were dating is married, has a girlfriend, or better yet. . .has a wife and a child. it's too much! now, i feel so bad for my friends, sometimes they have more emotions involved in the situation than they realized--so they feel the avalanche of emotions that come with finding out such information. all of those emotions essentially mean numbness for a few days until they can sort them out. i always wish i could take the pain away, i never know what to say. i just give them extra prayers that night.
but then i can't help but wonder about the wives/girlfriends. i mean if it happened to my friends, the guy has probably done it before and may do it again. and most of the time the significant other (or insignificant as the case may be) has no idea. they are in their blissful bubble thinking that they are with someone who wants to be with them and no one else, at least for the time being. i mean, men these days are manipulative on a whole new level(to the untrained, trusting eye)! they can lead a woman to believe one thing and be someone *completely* different when she turns her back. it is SCARY and it makes me nervous to ever get married. . .to be vulnerable enough that your whole life is attached to someone else, and you don't even really know who he is, and you can't even take for granted that his vows mean that he wants to be with you at the sacrifice of being with all others =/
ptooey to the stupidheads messing it up for the good guys. . .and making the good girls go bad.