musings on housewives. episode 4

so beyond the fact that it's getting hard to find new pictures of the group, i think lisa deserves a solo shot because she is my favorite. i've told people from the beginning how i like her because 1) she seems the most genuine and the least showy 2) she actually works and seems to understand the value of a dollar more than the others and 3) she seems to have actual friends and not be obsessed with the 'lifestyle' she has been afforded. i mean, we had two episodes revolving around deshawn's auction and it didn't even do well, whereas lisa shows her 'don't speak about it, be about it' attitude and sneaks up on us with a jewelry trunk show that lands her an even bigger opportunity and a photo shoot with derek blanks--which she killed! (shout out to derek, btw, for doing those yummy photo shoots of fellow howardite, lance gross). lisa is a hustler, homie!
other thoughts:

• did anyone else not feel sorry for deshawn as she dramatically fled to her bedroom and sobbed in her palatial estate? 1) she doesn't do anything, she has this one event and still feels the need to hire an event planner--umm, aren't you supposed to be the event planner? 2) she spent $30,000 on an event at her house--she didn't even have to rent space, just gaudy oscar statues for outside! then she put 'invites' on countertops in the mall--inviting all of pookie n'em to have free food and drinks at an nfl star's house. . .and was crying because no one bid on her stuff! that was just a party for them--nene and mark hayes (why did they call him by his full name the whole time) were just distracting background noise 3) out of all those dresses, she chose that one to wear?? 4) her husband needs to reign her in in general, or they will be broke in no time.
• kim is as fake and funny looking as her hair. how is nene her best friend and the light of her daughter's life one week then the next week she feels the same way about sheree and nene. . .and is a straight up sheree groupie?? puh-leez.
• umm, is it just me or does sheree have some HUGE hands. . .i'm not ready to say she's a man yet, but imma keep an eye on her. lol
• nene's gbf is off the hook. . .i was so mad at him telling her son 'be you. . .pick what you like' and then saying 'eww, you like that?? that's dreadful' to everything the boy picked out--while trying to turn him into a mini-me and delicately fingering the pink fabrics.
• but lol to him being right about deshawn's auction--he looked like he had smelled something foul when he said 'it's free??? how she expect to make any money like that??'
• kids: what do these women do with their kids while they're out gallavanting?? it seems like those babies see their mothers on tv more than they do in real life!
• umm, lisa's husband has a 'donk. lawdamercy to the red speedo (and lol to lisa like 'you can't just be showing it to everyone! that's mine!')
• someone please tell me what nene has against a bra. . .
  

november 5th etiquette

from an e-mail i received (i like #12--can't you just see that??):

To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:


1. No crying, hugging or shouting 'Thank you Lord' - at least not in public

2 No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses

3 No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters

4 No calling in sick on November 5th. They'll get nervous if too many of us don't show up. (Try to be on time and not your normal late arrival)

5 We're allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.

6. No singing loudly, We've come this Far By Faith (it will be acceptable to hum softly)

7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chitterlings at all) (this may make us seem too ethnic)

8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)

9. No Cupid Shuffle or Electric Slide during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)

10. Please no Moving on Up music (we are going to try to remain humble)

11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you're in your office with the door closed)

12. Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!

13. Just in case you're wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.


If I've missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to
make sure we're all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home
on November 5th.


Now go get your early vote on, drive your cousins to the polls and let's make this thing happen!!!

Like Chris Rock said on Larry King Live last month. If white people need anything done from a Black person on Wednesday Nov 5, 2008 they're wasting their time cause' aint' nothing gettin' done

scared yet?

so we're 6 days away from this historical election--6 days from no more polls, no more commercials, no more mudslinging, and best of all, no more worrying whether people are falling for the okie doke that is mccain/palin.
somehow, life after november 4 seems a little surreal--a kind of, 'now what?'
over the past few days i've heard a few people express fear--i mean, we aren't surprised that the voting machines are acting up (we've seen that before), we know the republicans are shady as ever when they're desperate, and we know that mccain sounds a little too ominous and confident when he says he's sure he's going to win but what we're really secretly afraid of is whether our beloved b-rack will make it to inauguration day.
b-rack is, as always, as cool as the other side of the pillow. he seems to have all the confidence in the world in the secret service and even seems to laugh in the face of the danger--calling these skinhead groups marginalized and saying they aren't really representative of anything at all. but with all of the news about the latest plot on his life, and so close to election day, the initial fear that many black people felt when he first started emerging as a viable candidate is coming back. is america--even the craziest parts--ready for a black president? and how many people are there who are willing to kill him rather than see him run this country? we have seen how mccain rallies look like kkk meetings and heard mccain back his 'patriotic supporters' as they yell 'kill him'--is it naive to think these people will stick to chanting and pouting if--wait, when (yes we can!) mccain loses?
i have said before that i think the black community would feel especially guilty if anything happened to barack--we have been a little nervous from the beginning, our history is filled with moments of watching the ones who stand too tall get chopped down, but we shook that off and pushed him because of all he stands for and hope that this is the 'brighter day' we longed for. i guess we're supposed to take our cue from the man himself--if he's not scared, then we shouldn't let our fears dampen our support. . .after all, there has never been anything false about hope ;)
*prayers for barack, michelle, sasha, and malia*

sigh.

i thought they had caught that old mean, no good short kinda tall, dark kinda light, fat kinda skinny black man after he stole susan smith's kids. . .i guess i was wrong. this poor girl was brutally attacked at an atm in pittsburgh by the same guy!
i mean, i thought the girl was stupid because she was a mccain supporter. . .but it gets better. she not only carves the 'b' that's supposed to stand for barack into her face the wrong way (and would you really lay still enough for an attacker to carve a perfect 'b' into your face??), but she forgets that atms have surveillance and so one of the worst places to make up something like this is at a place like that.
and at the end of the day, what was she really trying to do or prove?? i think she should apologize to all black men. . .
and it has been said that mccain should issue some kind of statement about this incident--but we all know he thinks his supporters are the 'most patriotic' americans and doesn't want anyone saying otherwise. phooey.

musings on housewives. episode 3

so i'm blaming my p-in-i for missing the original airing of the show this week and also for my catching the re-run last night (thanks, boo!) unfortunately once again i have to talk about kim.
this lesson is called 'play your position'. by now it is common knowledge that kim is a jump off. her big poppa is some man with a family somewhere (i guess in atl, but does that mean his actual housewife was too boring to make the show?). here she is on tv, trying to get her 15 secs and is about to blow the level of comfort her jump off status has entitled her to. although the man said he didn't want to be named and so she isn't naming him, you know that if you dangle the bait, the fish will bite. people are going crazy trying to find out who 'big poppa' is. . .all because they don't want us to know. if he gets discovered kim is going to be in trouble. for what? not playing her position. jump offs are not housewives (umm, why didn't the editors catch this? how did a jump off end up on a show about housewives??) and are supposed to be quiet and exercise discretion. i would direct her to the joe budden song, 'pump it up' for instructions on what a jump off is supposed to do. i mean, she was smart enough to get a ballin' 'big poppa' but she's got to know how to keep him.
other thoughts:

• sheree is a hater and seems a tad miserable
  
• nene needs a bra
• i'm mad nene laughed like kim was telling a joke when she was talking about her singing career
  
• nene really told the psychic 'shet up girl'. . .lol
  
• kim's weave is older than 29--why did she look dead in the camera and lie to us--suuuure you're 29. . .plus 8
  
• lol @ record deals for people who hum--but forreal, if you want credibility as a singer, start at home. why don't your friends know you sing?
• why does nene's boo look like he could be her daddy--paternity problem solved!
• i want to go to a make up bar!
  
• why is sheree so self-important??
• lol @ tardy for the party--are those songs the actual makings of a hit record? imma need dallas to get that under control
  
• why did nene act like kim was talking about a 3-headed monster when kim said sheree was pretty? 'really??' lol! i mean, i don't like sheree at all. . .but she didn't deserve that!
  
• i loooove the gbf! that crisp pink shirt. . .you betta do it!
  
• why did nene let aun-tee go on tv looking like a clown =/ (but she looked good for 80, huh?)

stay tuned for next week--by then the world will have discovered who big poppa is! too bad it won't affect the show =/

my life soundtrack

you should try this--it's not easy at all. it's like you want to chose some songs for the mood the beat puts you in and some songs for the actual words--and sometimes you can't narrow it down to one! i'm sure i'll be changing answers later. tee hee

opening credits: there she goes-babyface and pharell
waking up:be-common
average day: superwoman-alicia keys
life's ok: summer-india arie
driving: could you be loved-bob marley
flashback: at your best-aaliyah
falling in love: trouble sleeping-corinne bailey rae (like the commitmenphobe/slight control freak i am); knocks me off my feet-donnell jones; can't take my eyes off of you-lauryn hill
being in love: loving you-minnie ripperton (this is my favorite song of all time); dangerously in love-beyonce
breaking up: me-tamia
wedding: fortunate-lathun
birth of a child: if i could-regina belle
climax/denouement: one mic-nas
partying: get me bodied (the extended version) or check on it-beyonce
fight song: bia bia-lil jon and luda n'em
learning a lesson: (depending on the lesson) this too shall pass-india arie; lesson learned-alicia keys; stonger-christina aguilera
amazing sex scene: can't get enough-tamia; teach u a lesson-robin thicke
mental breakdown: i try-talib kweli and mary j
suicide: king of sorrow-sade
traditional death: kissing u-des'ree
funeral: take a bow-madonna and babyface
closing credits: isn't she lovely-stevie wonder; wanna love you girl-robin thicke and pharell

is this why they think we're crazy?

i don't know too many females who don't like this song. it's catchy and it has that hip-swaying beat. . .but then there are those who like it because of the words and sentiments (as in 'yeah girl, lemme catch him with some broad up in my house, busting windows won't be the half') . and i don't know too many black men who don't pause and make a face when it comes on--i actually saw a man with a look of horror on his face when this came on in the club the other night and the women got all hype. black women get a bad rap for this (see, 'waiting to exhale') but are we the only ones who take out our emotional pain on their physical objects?? (and i say 'we' meaning my sisters. i have done far too much work/school and my character and fitness is in issue--i'm not trying to do anything that will have me catching a charge. tee hee) and does it have the desired effect? i mean, are our feelings equivalent to his car windows--or do we just think that's the closest we can get?

movie comment: the secret life of bees *spoiler alert*

i had the privilege of seeing this with some of my faves on its opening weekend. i give it two thumbs up!
i love movies with strong black women, i have liked dakota fanning since she was little, and i like movies that weave in history and, of course, civil rights. so this was a win-win for me. i also like movies that don't spoonfeed you every thought--i like being able to infer character motivations and letting emotions fill in blanks--everything need not be explicitly stated.
random thoughts:

• i think they should have had 'honey' by erykah badu in this movie--all i could think of when a. keys and her boo were on screen was 'i'm in love with a bumble bee. . .' someone should have made that connection! or maybe they did and erykah was too busy being strange to approve
• that wig they had on alicia was *not* the business. that girl has never been that close to that many naps in her whole life!
• the suicide scene was so. . .extra. i did not need to see the rock on her chest. i was already appalled enough at the idea that this movie that i expected to be about bees and flowers and happy stuff was trying to make me cry! spare me the gruesomeness! at most i was expecting someone to get stung by a bee--at MOST.
  
• and tho i was too stubbornly mad at the movie for trying to make me cry to let any tears actually fall, i have to say that it was a tough fight when little dakota broke down crying and talking about how she was unloveable--you could just *feel* the pain. how does a little girl get that good at acting at such a young age??
• i really wanted to see a roach follow marshmallows and graham crackers outside. . .
• is there really such thing as purple honey? i need some. . .
• i wanted to know more about the mean ol' daddy. . .i wanted to be able to feel sorry for him.
• did dakota ever get to wear the dress may was making? it was almost done. . .relatedly, where did she get all those clothes she *was* wearing?? all that didn't fit in that little bag!

*update: my super observant friends have pointed out that she was wearing the dress at the end of the movie. i guess these are the kinds of things you miss when you're distracted by wondering whether this girl is worth that little black boy risking his life--i mean, we love her, but i was a little torn.*

• do people who don't get married because they love themselves/their freedom more than their mate ever regret it?

anyway, i think at least all black people should go out and support this movie--it's coonery free!

just a few words

i have to give a gold star to colin powell--i've had my doubts about him in the past, but yesterday i loved him. not only because of what he said:

he had asked himself: “Which is the President we need now?” Referring to Mr Obama, he continued: “And I come to the conclusion that because of his ability to inspire, because of the inclusive nature of his campaign, because he is reaching out all across America, because of who he is and his rhetorical abilities — and you have to take that into account — as well as his substance — he has both style and substance, he has met the standard of being a successful President, being an exceptional President.

“I think he is a transformational figure. He is a new generation coming . . . on to the world stage and on the American stage. And for that reason I’ll be voting for Senator Barack Obama.”

but because saying so made him just a regular old black man to sooo many republicans and closet racists who used to point to colin and say--of course i would vote for a black man, if barack were colin powell race wouldn't be an issue. many of the comments sections of websites that covered this momentous occasion are filled with hateful racist comments about the the once beloved republican black guy. it was a big move for him, he didn't have to do it and it would have been safer if he hadn't, but he did it.
know what? two gold stars. lol. yay colin!

ps- all of those people who say colin only endorsed him because he was black--or that black people only support barack because he's black, for that matter--sound stupid. we didn't support alan keyes, al sharpton, or jesse jackson the way we have supported barack. we are not stupid. we supported bill clinton and jimmy carter for the same reasons--we vote with our interests. we know that if white america is doing bad, black america is doing worse. colin powell has never been a dummy, he's never done stuff just because people think he should as a black man. but now that he's knocked himself off his pedestal by endorsing barack, people are all of a sudden acting like he can't have an independent thought. phooey.

i love nyc

it seems like every time you encounter someone who has either lived in, or is from new york city, they cannot stop comparing things to the city and talking about how nyc is so much better (there are a few exceptions, but very few). i never thought i would be one of those people. one time, after i just finished talking about how i love dc, my friend said 'i can't wait until she's like that about nyc'. she knew that my 'military bratness' tended to give me an affinity toward anywhere i stayed for 3+ years.
anyway, i was just in nyc last weekend, and though it gave me a reality check from my glamorized memories and made me realize i don't want to move back , but will visit allll the time, i can't help but say. . .i really love nyc. and i've been fighting it, but i also think i'm one of 'those people'. i can't help it, nyc spoils you!

• i was paying $18-23 dollars for a wash and set with my wonderful dominicans; the average in dc is $40 and not so wonderful dominicans
  
• around $20 for a mani-pedi--the cheapest i've found in dc is like $35!
• $6 for my eyebrows--the average in dc is $15!
• i could go eeeenywhere for $2 on the metro--you only have to swipe your card on the way in. in dc they charge you according to where you're going, which also means you have to keep track of your card and swipe it again when you want to exit!
• almost everything is open 24 hours--i love duane reade and the grocery stores for this. i am still getting used to the idea of checking store hours for a grocery store! hmph.
• you can get a bacon egg and cheese on a roll for like $1 every block any time of the day. . .in dc, not so much. the place i go to is like $3 AND you can only get it til 11 (that is, if they don't run out of breakfast stuff before 11!)
• people understand the 'walk on left, stand on the right' rule of the escalator. . .i get so mad in dc when people are standing on the left gazing at the ceiling when i'm in a rush. ugh!
• you don't have to worry about having a designated driver (or the difference between buzzed and drunk driving)--there are millions of them in the city. just remember your address (not even the whole thing, just the cross streets!!) and stumble to a cab.
• i can buy gum underground on the way to the train--and lots of other stuff too!
• and when i'm on the train, people know to move to the center and not block the door and do the annoying things that dc train people do.
• and though i don't think i've ever said it out loud. . .i love a guy who looks a little thuggish (just a little!) with a bk accent. there are lots of those there! lol
• and the sample sales!!! all kinds of great stuff and women in shopping frenzy! can you believe dc tried to charge me to go into a sample sale?? needless to say i haven't had the sample sale experience in dc. hmph.
  

i could go on and on. . .like i said, i'm one of 'those people'

20 things oprah knows for sure. . .that i know too

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

aren't they called 'personals' for a reason?

i was recently involved in a discussion with a young lady who went to great lengths to poke fun at the way people in a section of personal ads phrased their requests (an example "3) SEXY BLACK FEMALE SEEKS SEXY WHITE MALE
My Spin – "Simply put...I’m not that sexy…not even pretty really...but I’ve run out of options in my race and am getting a bit desperate."). she concluded by saying that she was trying to say that people should stop stereotyping in their personal ads by indicating a racial preference. she says that race has no place in your search for your mate. . .now, i was (and still am) lost in how the aforementioned example shows this, but i digress. i felt i had to respond--i definitely do have a racial preference and there is nothing wrong with that. having a racial preference doesn't mean i'll like every black man or turn away every white man. it is a starting point at which i would begin if i were to place a personal ad--i feel a certain level of unspoken comfort in the presence of most black people (male or female) that i don't with many other races. of course this can change the more you get to know people--the superficial attracts you but doesn't keep you, but this is my initial impression, my initial attraction, my personal preference. i am not ashamed to admit that my 'fairy tale' is a strong black family unit (a la barack, michelle, malia, and sasha) full of black love--the type that was intentionally destroyed in slavery and is seldom seen in society today. i resented her implying i was wrong for that.
she called indicating a racial preference 'reverse racism' and said that we can't say we want workplaces free from racism if we don't do away with it in our personal relationships. 1) having a racial preference is not racism--i can prefer one group without being racist 2) no one has a 'right' to date me. . .who i date affects me and that person. no one else. that's like saying i don't get to choose whether to date an ugly person--if they approach i must accept 3) the ability to work and exercise other rights in this country *shouldn't* be impeded by racism, and part of the reason there are laws protecting this right is about power differentials and survival in this capitalistic society founded one white supremacy. . .i would dare we don't need to guard against that in the 'mating dance' of modern day dating. i am not keeping other people from dating who they want, judging them for doing so, or saying that they are wrong for being so 'open'.
it really bothered me to have vigilante 'colorblind' people implying that i'm wrong for celebrating black love and all that it has overcome to exist and wanting it for myself. it is *my* relationship, right??

can filet mignon judge you when it knows you've been eating hamburger?

so you know how people say, 'why would you want hamburger when you can have filet mignon?' what happens if your 'filet mignon' finds out that you've had some. . .less than desirable looking 'hamburger' in your past. . .is it fair for them to 'deduct points' or otherwise 'judge' your taste--maybe even making them think they're out of your range? and if so does this mean you can never see the errors of your ways and. . .upgrade, meaning you have to start eating filet from the beginning??
my friend recently said:

i mean you cant be shopping at the dollar store last week and then expect to go on a shopping spree at Neimans this week

which i personally found hilarious. i have definitely looked at people i've dated a little differently once i've seen their past choices. of course people have different reasons for choosing others--personality is always a factor. . .but if i found out you were dating someone who occupies the "ugly to bad side of average" side of the spectrum AND they're crazy/mean/stupid/otherwise personality impaired, we have a problem. i can't help but wonder what you saw in that person and whether you think we are similar--i want to know your pattern. and of course people change, sometimes people go for what's available at the time, were young and stupid and she had a 'donk, etc. . .but imma need an explanation. or in the words of my friend, a:

Yeah, you know what I totally slipped up and went to the dollar store last week. I mean i dont usually shop there but i saw some soy sauce and it was only a dollar...so i picked up two bottles

(lol. yes, she's crazy. but i love her)

heeere we go

so, i know it was only a matter of time before people brought out the chicken and watermelon, but what makes this one so absurd is that these people are saying it's not racist--here we have barack surrounded by chicken, ribs, watermelon, and kool aid (red, of course) on a food stamp, but the person who made it has her family members saying it's not racist. 'who says those are negative african american stereotypes?' they stutter 'i mean, *i* like chicken' sputters the woman's daughter. the daughter even goes so far to say that her mother can't be racist because she's married to a mexican. since this is the second time in two weeks i've heard something like this stated, let me clarify for the ignorants out there--you can be racist and discriminatory against black people and no one else. i don't know if it's better or worse to be an 'equal opportunity racist' but the point is, you don't have to be--you can be selectively racist.
this is just one more thing adding fuel to the fire of racism burning across this country in regard to this election--at least she's not threatening his life. . .yet.
i'm so nervous for him. . .i might even join this lawsuit. lol

your boy is wilin. . .in a tux (white tie!)!

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=6054516

barack does stand up!

the last debate of '08--cheers!

so i was supposed to go to a watch party--i mean, i kinda did. but right before i went i had a better idea. tee hee. so when i showed up to the place and there was only one tv and no air conditioning (seriously it felt like africa in there, i know we're black but goodness.) i was more than willing to put plan b into action. it went like this. . .
we went to the liquor store and bought a 24 oz bottle of smirnoff ice wild grape for me (i don't do beer) and a 24 0z bottle of bud light for him. and a bottle of (what was supposed to be passion fruit but ended up being tropical banana) malibu for shots. the rules of the game:
take a 2 second swig if either candidate says:
work force fundamentals
my friends
joe
main street
wall street (combine two sips if those two are used in the same sentence)
maverick (finish your drink (we had poured some into a 'finish your drink' cup for this) if said by barack)
nucular (as opposed to nuclear)
mccain and bush administration in the same sentence (finish your drink if said by mccain)
visited
$750/700 billion
college
earmark
education
defense/war

take a shot:
secretary paulson/henry paulson
straight talk
trickle
overhead projector
ronald reagan
game changer
warren buffet
clinton

needless to say i think i got drunk off of the word joe--i had no idea that joe the plumber would be the theme of this debate for the 'just keep saying the same thing over and over again' party. i mean, mccain talked about joe so much that he forgot to call himself a maverick!!

oh and even though i'm not going to talk about the substance of the debate i'd be remiss in not giving a 'terrorist fist jab' to the moderator for being gangsta enough to essentially say ' you talk all that mess on your commericals, would you say it to his face??' classic. almost made me spit out my 2-second swig. . .

i just love this picture

it kinda looks like barack just exhaled. lol. like this is why he goes through all that he goes through.
and the little boy looks sooo happy like he actually understands the magnitude of the moment.

hotlanta housewives

sooooo this type of show isn't usually my thing, but i got sucked in. and when i say sucked in, i mean watching AND texting about what i'm watching with my newest partner in ignorance.
i just can't believe some of the stuff that goes on on this show. . .and then my mouth dropped further in incredulity when a caller on the morning show i listen to said she's proud to see black people doing well and so she's proud of these ladies. hmmm.
now, i know that being a mother and wife is a lot of work--but that's not what is providing these women with money. i assume then, the caller was proud of them for 'marrying well'? i did notice that a few of the ladies do work in some other capacity--but they do the leisurely work that marrying well is allowing them to do--such as running charitable organizations or trying to sell $4.6 million dollar homes in a recession.
i love to see my people do well as much as the next person--probably more, but goodness, aren't we the flashiest when we are doing well? conspicuous consumption is alive and well in the houses of these housewives. (sidebar: i feel ok lumping kim into some of these generalizations because she says she's a black girl trapped inside a white girl's body. i'm not sure exactly how she came to that conclusion, but i'll run with it since it suits my current purposes). sheree had $6500 worth of shoes shopped to her home for her own personal fashion show--and in the next few moments was talking about her desire for a 7-figure lump sum divorce settlement. kim spent more on her daughter's 11th birthday party than some people make a year--$2000 on the cake alone, and two louis vuitton bags, one that costs $1610. i just cannot get over this. i understand spoiling your children and wanting them to have the things you never had. . .but if you do this for her 11th birthday, what will you do for her sweet 16?? or when you're celebrating an accomplishment like graduation? and the child already seemed to be unfazed by all these materialistic showings, she was surly and ungrateful to say the least. it's as if she feels she deserves all of this and it is owed to her. if that kind of lavish party and gift giving doesn't make you happy, you have a very sad life ahead of you. . .the real world doesn't come close to having a louis bag dropped in your lap!

i also didn't get:

• why kim's white girl weave/wig/lacefront looked so. . .horrible
• why sheree was so pressed to go to the kiddie party
• why sheree is pronounced sha-ray
• why kim dressed her 'girls' in lace and brought them out to play at her daughter's birthday party
• if you're going to spend more on a birthday cake than some people spend on a wedding cake, why didn't you do the whole 'cake tasting' thing so you wouldn't be standing there with the stank face on the day of the party?
• why nene tried to make it seem like some grand set up and didn't just tell the rest of the crew that she had talked to sheree before kim's little spazz attack. . .that was so extra
• why deshawn thinks she needs a personal assistant. . .or for that matter, why she thinks helping her kids get dressed in the morning and shooing them down to breakfast cooked by a chef (and probably driven to school by a chauffeur while she gets her makeup done for her day of leisure) is even remotely as stressful as being a single parent

this show is quite. . .an experience.

the phrase that pays

In the past year or so it has become apparent to me that if you are a modern-day rapper you must find a way to include the phrase "it ain't trickin if you got it" in at least one of your songs. it is almost ridiculous how many songs have this phrase it in. I started a list in august:
a milli- lil wayne
can't believe it- t pain & lil wayne
whatever you like- t.i.
what them girls like- ludacris
got $ - lil wayne, t pain
pop lock and drop it- huey
hood figga- gorilla zoe
. . .and some others

besides being overused, i'd argue it just plain isn't true. to the contrary, it's actually more likely to be trickin if you got it. i guess it depends on how you define tricking. . .but to me it's always been the same thing as paying a girl to like you. as in, you know she wouldn't be giving you time of day if you weren't spending your money on her. so. who is most likely to participate in this type of activity? certain rappers and others who have little more to offer than their money and temporary 'top of the chart'-ness, whose deep-seated insecurities and/or previous bad encounters with females have not gone away just because they have a hit song or two, who want 'model chick' type of girls around them because they couldn't have them before they blew up. will they pay these girls for their "company"? yep. and will they make themselves feel better about it by saying 'well if i have it, why not?' and imply that other people aren't doing it because they don't have it? yep.
now, if you're trickin and you don't got it. well. . .that's a story for another blog post.

home sweet home?

if you didn't know before, know now that i am a graduate of the illustrious howard university. i love my alma mater and am SO glad i went to howard u. i would even go so far as to say that if more people had the experience i and so many others had while at howard, our race could be uplifted a lot quicker.
now that i've gotten that out of the way i can talk about homecoming. in the wee hours of this morning (3:29 am) i received a myspace friend request from one, "U CaN't Fit a rubba BaNd around a MIlliAn!!!" (yes. really.) i was pretty sure i didn't know him but i looked at his page just to be sure. in his headline he expressed the *most* excitement over the arrival of howard homecoming and advised guys 'not to bring sand to the beach'. of course i had to look and see if he had actually gone to howard. . .i think you already know the answer. he didn't. i know that howard's homecoming doesn't get mentioned in rap lyrics (2 songs now if my count is correct!) for the academic reputation of the school. i mean, i partied EVERY night of the week of homecoming my freshman year (and still went to my 8 am classes). i withstood the lines, the crowds, the 'show your purple panties and get in free', and everything else. why? because it was fun! you get to party with new people, there are always celebrity sightings, and you have stories to tell (or not tell!) your kids. . .
but this year i think i'm showing my age--most of my friends are not coming into town for the festivities, i already live in the district so i drive by 'home' on a regular basis, and so when i think of homecoming this year all i can think of is the mayhem that is dc during homecoming. the lines, the parking, the traffic, the jacked up prices just to hang out (honestly, it's a recession, who would pay $100 + to get into the club???), and not to knock the yacht ride--i did it last year--but i am far too old to close the club. it is my bedtime far before the lights turn on--but if you're held hostage on a boat, you have no choice but to be there until the party is over hours later! all of this leaves much to be desired. . .and this sentiment is echoed for lots of people this year.
add to that, people like my new wanna-be friend (wbf), who have no affiliation with the university (except for the fact that they're also historically black) but will travel far and wide to be here for homecoming and it drives home the point that howard homecoming isn't really *my* homecoming. . .it's EVERYone's. i mean, i can't go on the yard to try to catch up with the people who did come into town (btw, did you notice the yard is separated by age--the older people are way in the back away from the stage and the performers we have no clue about) without having some random person taping my behind as i walk, or being grabbed by the guys who are trying to scoop up the sand on the beach (to run with wbf's analogy). ugh. i feel tired just thinking about it.
but i feel bad about not being excited, after all, there is no place like home. right?

outchicked?

so the other day i was watching tv with 'someone' and a commercial came on that made 'someone' say 'that guy has definitely been outchicked'. now, in the context i knew what 'someone' meant but i wanted to ask for clarification. according to 'someone', outchicked describes a situation when a girl is with a guy and she can do much better than him. . .
so this made me think. 1) isn't it ok for a guy to be 'outchicked'? i mean this has been going on since stone age (think fred and wilma, barney and betty). i think it draws more comment when a girl seems 'physically undeserving' of the guy she's with; 2) what does it mean to 'do better than him'? maybe she could be with someone more attractive than that guy, but what if what she really wants is his money. . .gold digging is a subtle art that is not always visible to the naked eye (or so i've been told), or maaaaybe the guy has a great personality and treats her well and that trumps everything; 3) i have noticed this in lots of clubs, but the fact is there are way more pretty girls than there are cute guys these days (shame.). . .you could never match everyone. it's a good thing some girls don't mind 'outchicking' (can i use it like that) a guy! and 4) last but not least, sometimes really cute guys are more trouble than they're worth, maybe you don't really want to deal with the drama of 24-7 panty flinging. . .
anyway, all that to say. . .what does it really mean to be outchicked?

beware: men ahead

i'm not a man basher. . .i ♥ my bf--even with his imperfections, i can recognize that he is a great guy. it would be an over-generalization and unfair to most of the men in my life to say 'all men are dogs'-- i know that there are lots of great guys out there. . .but i'm also a commitmentphobe (add that to my list of contradictions--a happy girlfriend and a commitmentphobe (although i have a friend who says i'm not so much a commitmentphobe as a drama queen masquerading as a commitmentphobe)) and so little things that suggest imperfect commitments bother me more than they should.
over the past week i've heard 3 different stories about people who are close to me finding out that someone they were dating is married, has a girlfriend, or better yet. . .has a wife and a child. it's too much! now, i feel so bad for my friends, sometimes they have more emotions involved in the situation than they realized--so they feel the avalanche of emotions that come with finding out such information. all of those emotions essentially mean numbness for a few days until they can sort them out. i always wish i could take the pain away, i never know what to say. i just give them extra prayers that night.
but then i can't help but wonder about the wives/girlfriends. i mean if it happened to my friends, the guy has probably done it before and may do it again. and most of the time the significant other (or insignificant as the case may be) has no idea. they are in their blissful bubble thinking that they are with someone who wants to be with them and no one else, at least for the time being. i mean, men these days are manipulative on a whole new level(to the untrained, trusting eye)! they can lead a woman to believe one thing and be someone *completely* different when she turns her back. it is SCARY and it makes me nervous to ever get married. . .to be vulnerable enough that your whole life is attached to someone else, and you don't even really know who he is, and you can't even take for granted that his vows mean that he wants to be with you at the sacrifice of being with all others =/
ptooey to the stupidheads messing it up for the good guys. . .and making the good girls go bad.

oh b. . .

i really wish i could like this song. it's like it's trying to be 'get me bodied's little sister (and we all know how i love get me bodied--the extended version!!) with the attitude of "freakum dress". . .but i just can't. however, as i've already confessed, even tho i dislike it now, i'm sure i will end up liking it later. sigh.

*update: the song was in stuck in my head by the end of the week. . .and i was dancing to it in the club like it was my jam that friday. darn you beyonce!*

hmm

i was just wondering. . .why is it that there is little to no reporting on the outcome of eskimo-barbie palin's troopergate investigation? i mean, i know people aren't really surprised, but if we're to talk about barack's association with a *gasp* university professor who has never been convicted of any crime, as if it means he himself is a terrorist, why are we supposed to overlook the more obvious signs of unfitness displayed by barbie herself?
i realize mccain is getting desperate, but isn't it clear that you can't send barbie to attack when every time she opens her mouth you have to do more damage control?

Columbus Day, Really?

i don't get it. . .i just don't. why on earth do we celebrate columbus day?? i mean, i would have gladly stayed at home in the bed if i had the day off. . .but why is it even an option? what did this man do that is worthy of a federal holiday?
i mean, the other day i discovered a louis vuitton store in a place where i didn't know one existed. . .do i get a holiday? or do i have to go and slaughter the people who worked and shopped there long before i happed upon it? or, in addition, should i go steal some people (and threaten to cut off the ears and noses of any who resist) to help me make the most of my newfound discovery? maybe then i could have my own federal holiday!!

anyway, so today i'm going to mourn the native americans and the africans whose lives were never to be the same after 'in fourteen hundred ninety two, columbus sailed the ocean blue'

confession #1-music

i have an affinity for 'hood songs' (e.g. i'm so hood, hood n*igga, and several other songs that i can in no way relate to and should probably be offended by). i have always just been attracted to them. lol.
i also like lines in songs that talk about being able to pull another guy's girl ('your girl want me and if she don't she should' 'you betta tuck your girl if she hot fam, cuz i'm pretty sure she's a roc fan' 'shawty you can hate but your girl steady watchin'. . .) idk, something about the swag. lol.
i also have an inability to hate any beyonce or lil wayne song for too long. sigh.

songs of the month--october

i randomly get attached to a few songs every month, i wanted somewhere to keep a running list of them. i guess this will do, i'll update it later.
1. she got her own/miss independent remix by neyo, jamie foxx, and fabolous. i just love this song! the beat sounds kinda like a dream level in mario bros, the words are great--i've got my own! fabolous is always witty and on point lyrically, neyo is a great song writer, and this song is what made me realize jamie foxx really does have a distinct voice. . .
2. dream by alice smith. i 'borrowed' a cd from my bf, his friend makes these compiliation cds and this song was #1 or else i may never have been exposed to it. it's a sweet song (i'm a sucker for romantic lyrics) and the beat is. . .funky (is that the word i want to use?)
3. oh girl by raphael saadiq feat. jay z. this is another sweet song, i am a fair-weather jay z fan (i know, don't shoot me, it's just that sometimes he can be SO good and sometimes i think he rests on the fact that he was that good the last time, so why bother this time) i don't think this is his best verse, but it goes well with the song. i do like raphael but probably wouldn't have listened to the whole cd so soon if it hadn't come out on my birthday. tee hee. anyway, how could you not love a song that says 'i'll keep your heart next to mine, and i'll be everything that you need' and then the part where he says 'i'm gonna make you so proud, i promise i won't let you down'. so touching.
4. stop this world by neyo. once again, another really sweet song and testament to neyo's song writing skills.
5. live your life feat. rihanna. introspective ti :) fun song

here she comes--my intro

i don't really know what i intend to do with a blog. in true walking contradiction form, i'm actually kinda a private person so i don't *really* want all my business in the streets. . .but sometimes i just want to put stuff out there, and i know my brother needs a break from my random texts and phone calls (plus he's been disagreeing with me too much lately). hmm, so maybe this is charitable. . .
anyway, what would make interpreting my randomness a little easier:
1. i wear stilettos 99% of the time--they're just more comfortable for me--thus, the name of the blog. and yes, i can run in stilettos. i only own one pair that i can't run in, and that's because they're too big (but too cute to give up). this leads people to form certain opinions about me. i find myself having to disprove stereotypes about myself wherever i go.
2. i don't really type in caps unless i have to. otherwise, i am your typical critical, analytical, slightly obsessive compulsive virgo. i love lists, i am *such* a planner, and i have a "my way" of doing almost everything. therefore, this compilation of 'random thoughts' won't really be all that random. . .
3. i'm not racist, i like lots of white people. . .i don't like whitey. there is a difference.
4. several different people would characterize me in several different ways. the aforementioned brother likes a mix of quinn (from daria, remember daria on mtv?!), elle (from legally blonde), and dede (from dexter's laboratory) and toni childs (from girlfriends); my other friends like to call me a princess or 'the duchess' while also calling me a militant. my mother insists that if there's a government red flag list for such militants, i've been on it for a while now. and my bf likes to call me prettygirl--which says nothing about my personality, i just like it :) soooo i guess i am what you would get if you crossed harriet tubman, assata shakur, kimora lee simmons (minus a few millions), aaand okay, maybe elle woods--and gave her an azur damier lv named lolo.
5. i work in the legal world, but i hate the law--i think the constitution, the courts, the judges, and the prosecutors are too easily used to oppress and to preserve the status quo. i am planning a revolution as we speak. . .from the inside. i want to save the world, but i'm still trying to figure out the best way and how to do it with minimal nail breakage. and when i say 'the world' i usually mean starting with my people, followed by the rest of the world.
6. i went to an ivy league school for 3 years--i hate the ivy league, i hate what it does to too many black people, and knew that before i started. like i said, i'm planning the revolution from the inside, so these are the prices i must pay.
7. i manage to somehow be both a romantic and a realist. i want my happily ever after, but have doubts that it can happen . i also want 'amor vincit omnia' engraved in my wedding bands, even though i don't believe it. i love love, even if it's just the idea of it.
8. i love babies and old people
9. i am a christian, i am spiritual, but i have doubts about organized religion. i admit to using Him as a spare tire rather than a steering wheel more often than not. i also admit to working more on my relationship with Him than the church--this may be the wrong approach, but hey at least if i'm wrong He can tell me!
10. i laugh at just about everything. sometimes my laughs sound more like giggles. . .i'm not flirting with you.

tee hee.