your assets?

so i recently stepped out of a contraption called a monokini--for those of you who don't know, that is a one piece swimsuit with so many scandalous cut-outs that it is sexier than your average bikini--and i thought of an interview that i read with eva mendes where she said she has to be careful what she wears because her curves can turn innocent stuff into scandlous stuff. i have definitely said that before! even a crewneck tshirt can look like a seduction tool when the twins are involved. . .and let's not talk about tank tops! and after some squats and some praying, i have developed a 'dunk to go with the twins--it's got nothing on my friend 'queen dunk' but it's enough to make random guys think it might talk back to them as i walk by. so anyway, i decided that i have, um, too much volume in my lady lumps to wear the monokini outside the house. . .this 'event' coupled with a friend's blog i just read entitled, "do men respect women with fat asses" (i don't curse, but that's what it's called!) made me think about thick being 'in' but is it really?
i think most women know what it feels like to be objectified in the work place--if you're anywhere near cute, some man is going make you feel like you're his eye candy, even if you're more credentialed than he is and haven't done anything to warrant such attention. somehow those button down shirts don't really take the girls into account and there will be gaping at some of the buttons or those straight cut slacks will hug a little on your behind and thighs. . .and someone is bound to notice. ever since i started working i've been aware of men having conversations with my breasts, or arranging 'meetings' where they asked whether i was married or wanted to have lunch or whatever when i just came to work. being a woman in a man's world is hard work. . .
if you're a video girl, or otherwise sell your body--working what you got to get what you want--i suppose having ample bosoms and buttocks is truly, um, an asset. but if you're not and you live in the real world, are they somewhat a gift and a curse? i mean, of course you should be proud of what you have--there are girls paying to get breasts and butts every day! but other than the way you fill out that party dress, how your man likes that extra 'jiggle' or the times you want the attention (face it ladies, we have a double standard here--sometimes we want people to notice how pretty we are or what we have), i wonder if i'm the only one who sometimes thinks these extra parts can just . . .get in the way.

book review: michelle by liza mundy *spoiler alert(?)*

(can you really spoil a famous person's person's biography?)i finished the book a little while ago, but i wanted to get my thoughts together before writing. so. i liked the book--it was a biography so it got a little slow in places and it's not an authorized biography (which gave me pause about even buying it initially) so you could tell that the author was really reaching for people to talk to to help shape the story in parts. but overall, it was a pretty good biography. it sucked me in in the beginning because it was talking about chicago (my honorary hometown) and chicago politics during the time period in which michelle grew up. her story was not super-interesting, partly because we've heard a lot of it before, but the author did a good job of tying pieces together, getting quotes from people, and surveying the media coverage of her (you get the impression that she almost stalkerishly lived, ate, breathed michelle to write this book).
once again, i was impressed by how much michelle and i seem to have in common and so when the author got to the part about michelle at princeton or in law school and the way she generally felt like a fish out of water until she found her niche, either with other black people or with a particular cause, i could relate. there wasn't a lot about her time in law school other than the clinic work she did and the one, completely useless quote from someone who sat next to her in a class on race who said 'she didn't say much in class but she seemed like an affable person' or something like that. thanks.
and i was upset, but not surprised when the white people with whom she worked and the white man who introduced her to the firm said they were disappointed in her when she later criticized the firm and said she didn't like being there. as if they could speak to her experience and say what she should have felt about that environment. ugh. i also got tired of the random white people quoted saying 'she's so funny'. something about that doesn't sit right to me. lol. i know it's well documented that she is witty and can make people laugh, but when when one of the only things a white person can say about someone so personable, educated, and overall impressive is that she's funny, it makes me think they've missed something and shouldn't be quoted.
i think my favorite part was when the author talked about the obama groupies and panty flingers. michelle has the attitude that if someone can come between them then they must not have had very much at all. . .the other side of her calm, cool, collected answer is that everyone who knows them says he knows she would leave him, actually she would kill him first, then she would leave him (as one source put it). he simply says it wouldn't be worth it to cheat on her--which is sweet and noble, but now we know there's a little bit of fear behind those words! lol.
so anyway, of course the book ends before the election. it's funny how it shows how she went from being against the whole politics thing, to reluctantly involved, to very enthusiastically involved, then censoredly involved as the campaign had to 'handle' her and her image. so all in all it was informative and as interesting as possible, i'm sure there will be another one about her as first lady. . .hmm, what else:

betcha didn't know:

• sasha's (the youngest daughter) real name is natasha--they just shortened it and call her sasha at home--and now so do we!
  
• they have a rule--michelle is allowed to poke fun at him in public (not picking up socks, leaving the butter out, etc) but he isn't allowed to to do the same to her
  
• he proposed to her in a restaurant (during the middle of one of her many rantings about how they should get married) by having the waiter bring the ring out on a plate as 'dessert'
  
• they have talked about effecting change and helping to change the country for the better since they first met, but she didn't know that he wanted to do it through politics (the book does a good job of explaining why she was wary of politics). and his early political career caused a significant strain on their relationship. on their annual christmas trip in 1999 they were barely on speaking terms.
• when he made his show-stealing speech at the dnc in 2004 he could barely rent a car to get there--their credit cards were maxed out (i was worried about our first black pres having bad credit, but after that speech the royalties from the first book came flooding in along with a $2 million dollar advance for what would become the audacity of hope)

what i appreciated most/learned from michelle by reading this book:
to my credit, i was pretty much there on my own--anyone who's ever been in a relationship with me has heard me say 'i can't change you or what you do or make you do anything and i won't try, but i can and will change me and what i do, so let me know what you're going to do and i'll adjust myself accordingly'. it saves you a lot of pain, wasted time, and wasted energy if you adopt this approach to dealing with people who aren't your children. lol.
anyway, michelle came to a revelation during their time of not speaking, her being angry and miserable at his absence and even more miserable at his presence, and her time of feeling tricked into being a single parent. she decided to create her happiness. she says she "had to stop being angry and expecting him to change, and focus instead on how she could gain control and extract happiness out of her life." she asked herself "how do i structure my world so that it works for me and i'm not trying to get him to be what i think he should be." she realized that even when he was doing his best when he was at home trying to be a father and husband, it wasn't enough to keep her happy and sane and instead of asking for the impossible of their current situation and being mad that he wasn't making her happy, she decided to make herself happy. she figured out what she needed and that she didn't necessarily need him to be the one doing it--if she needed alone time away from the kids, instead of being mad that he couldn't give it to her, she asked her mom to watch the kids. she was getting what she needed without banging her head against a brick wall. and i hate to generalize, but she did and it helped her. she says she realized that men, all men, put themselves first and everything else after whereas women are more likely to put themselves near the bottom of their own lists.
once she made her revelations and put things into action, she was happier, her household was happier, and it opened up the opportunity for him to become the president--if she hadn't had that revelation, there would be no president barack obama and his adoring family. either he would have been at the top without michelle, or they would be together and he would be in private practice somewhere.
anyway, this is for all ladies in relationships (and even those looking for relationships) from michelle obama (and this poem i like): take control of your own happiness and don't blame him for your unhappiness. don't expect him to fulfill all of your needs or make yourself miserable because your needs aren't being met. extract your own happiness, "plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."

brrr!

it is widely known that i am not fond of the cold. my people are a tropical people and so i'm one of the only people who isn't complaining when it's nearly 100 degrees in the summertime bc i'd rather that than winter. besides the freeeeeezing weather outside that makes it hard to get out of bed (and makes staying in the office a little longer seem like a good idea), the darkness at 5 pm, and the mess that is snow and ice, it is super hard to be cute in the cold. by the time you've added 5-7 lbs in layering and debated whether it is safe to wear heels, you no longer feel like going through the effort to attain fabulosity (good thing it's in my blood and therefore unavoidable) or going outside period.
anyway, after i found myself cheering at the fact that it was a measly 44 degrees outside when i left for work (as opposed to the 24 of last week) and talking to my friend about how the high where she lives was only 17 degrees (that is not a temperature! that is a date on the calendar!) i was reminded that every year i say there are only 5 good things about the winter/cold, but i can never name them all at the same time, so i've decided to list them here:

• carol's daughter body butter. my favorite is ecstasy. i look forward to the scent and feel-good moisturizing of this product to cheer me up on those stupid winter days that threaten to turn me into a dry, cracked raisin.
• peppermint hot chocolate. i first tried it at starbucks and i fell in love. this is such a grown up twist on an old favorite. . .or maybe it's not so grown up. doesn't matter to me.
• cashmere. i have always had expensive taste. cashmere is my winter splurge. it is so soft and warm, it makes you almost glad--almost--to have a reason to wear it
• flannel sheets. they make it even harder to get out of the bed in the morning! and when you get in the bed they are already warm and soft and waiting for you!
• fireplaces/the smell of fireplaces. it's just a comforting feeling. i'm all about nostalgia. and i could stare at a fire in a fireplace forever.

okay, so now my list is down. my silver lining to this cloud. sigh.

movie comment: cadillac records

k. so i saw the movie. . .
i was so impressed! i guess because i didn't expect it to be good (i actually cringed in anticipation of beyonce's first line when she came on the scene) but i really liked it! adrian brody was great. the surprise (to me) appearance of cedric the entertainer is always welcome. jeffrey wright was (and is always) great--you can tell he really studied muddy waters! beyonce held her own--they made her sing more than they let her talk, but when she was talking, she got over that tendency she has to sound like she's reading. you can tell she really tried to channel the emotions of each scene. although i have to say, beyonce is and always will be beyonce. her 'people' have put us on so much beyonce overload that she will never be able to transcend her beyonce-ness the way jamie foxx was able to stop being jamie foxx and actually become ray charles. when i look at her, i see beyonce--no matter how many etta mannerisms she studied and adopted. which kinda sucks for any potential acting career she may have wanted. sorry b!
anyway, i really liked it and was intrigued bc i only knew a little about these people--muddy waters, chuck berry, etta james are people i know to respect but didn't know their stories (to my credit, i do have 2 etta james songs on my ipod). and i hadn't even heard of little walter (who knew columbus short was that cute??) or howlin' wolf. it was a very entertaining movie. i barely got the wiggles that i get whenever i see a movie in the theater (i have always had an issue with doing nothing but sitting and staring at a screen for 2 + hours). it was a learning experience for me!
in order to enjoy this movie, you have to realize what it is and what it isn't. it is the story of the rise and peak of cadillac/chess records. it isn't the etta james story, the leonard chess story, the chuck berry story, etc. it isn't a story about the time period that all this was happening in. so you will be left wanting more context and more details about the lives of these individuals. you only learn enough about them to either know their contribution to the label, their motivations, their weaknesses/tragic story, and maybe their downfall if it occured at the same time as the peak of the label. they couldn't fit everyone's story in that short timespan, but it was great for telling the story it was trying to tell. i also think i just love the feel of the music from that time period, it made me want to have the soundtrack and an etta james album by the time it was all over with. the bf says it was too much of a musical not to be a musical. . .i think you couldn't tell the story without the music, but that doesn't necessarily mean it had to be a musical! idk, maybe i liked it bc i didn't expect much, but i definitely liked it. you have to go see it. . .even if you don't love it, you won't hate it.
this, ladies and gentlemen, is the history of rock and roll. . .

ps- pay very close attention to your ticket. they are doing that thing again where they don't give the movie its sales--my mom's ticket was for the transporter movie, or something like that.

power to the people?

my thoughts have been provoked by the news of the dismal opening of the movie cadillac records. i admit that i had very little interest in seeing this movie in theaters. i love beyonce as a singer and performer in that capacity, but her acting has always left much to be desired--as does almost anything where i have to listen to her talk, unfortunately. i hadn't heard much about the movie--i read more posts about the cast and premiere parties in blogs than i've seen commercials for the movie. but i felt guilty when i heard about the poor showing at the opening. this movie had black star power--jeffrey wright, gabrielle union, the mighty mos def (swoon!), and of course beyonce (who gained weight for the role--you guys know how hard it is for that girl to stay in shape, so this was a super important role!) and it chronicled the rise of chess records, which gave us important black singers like etta james and muddy waters. in short, the movie was black history and pretty much coonery free--it portrayed the kind of images of black people that we say the big (and small) screen is lacking. so why weren't we out in droves to support it? this is the same problem the great debaters, eve's bayou, and other movies about black firsts/history have.
i get it. people like to laugh, comedies tend to do well across the board. but in a barack obama era--why can't we pull large audiences without shucking and jiving, killing each other, a man in a dress, cooning, or movies produced by a man in a dress? white people have always loved to laugh at us--we were allowed to entertain them long before we were allowed to drink from the same water fountain as they were. and true to form, they will still turn out in droves to see movies where we are cooning, thus inflating the box office numbers . . .i'm not really talking about them, but about us. we can't complain about bet, mtv, and other derogatory forms of black entertainment if we won't support the few times someone breaks through and can get funding for a movie that shows us in a positive light. if as many of us would have put secret lives of bees at the top of our priority list the way we did sex and the city, it would have done much better. if we were as excited to see denzel in the great debaters as we were to see him in training day, we would have been sending a message. we aren't doing a good job of letting studio executives know that we mean it when we say we want to see positive black images and we don't need a laugh track or a punchline to support it.
therefore, i will suck it up and go see cadillac records. it might not mean much, but it makes me feel like i'm doing my part so i can feel good about complaining about the lack of real, positive 'us' to go with my popcorn

barack my world!

so i'm in the middle of reading michelle obama's biography (review coming later) and besides learning how much we have in common (thus earning me the nickname "mini-michelle") it made me think about how she has become a role model for so many black women. black women are and will be stepping up their respective game to be seen as a 'michelle'. they may even have to update webster's to let the world know what it means to be a michelle! my friends and i talk about her at length and one of my friends, who i will call cocoa kitty, even wrote a note where she aptly and eloquently ponders the real question for so many successful black women looking for their complement:

"I wonder am I strong enough on my own yet submissive enough to allow the right man to lead our future family and me? It’s a balance that the self-described “mom-in-chief” has gracefully achieved. She hasn’t given up who she is to let her man shine. Best friends for sixteen years, her light helps him shine. I’m sure he’d tell you that any day of the week. "

all of this makes me proud, but it also makes me wonder. . .are there enough baracks for all the aspiring michelles? so this post isn't so much about how to become a michelle, but more about if the guys we date could really handle a michelle--despite the fact that they are saying that's what they're looking for. i'm not talking about the obvious--she is one tall glass of water (taller than the average man), she graduated from two ivy league schools, and when she was working she made close to a half a million dollars a year--these things alone are intimidating, but that's not what i'm talking about.

we see all of the adorable loving pictures of michelle and barack. their love is real, their family is strong, and you know that she admires and supports him. . .but what you may or may not know is that he has earned every bit of that admiration and support and continues to have to do so. michelle is not easily impressed. there are stories about how she treated her suitors before barack. . .most romances were short lived. she didn't take anybody's crap and was looking for someone who was worthy of her and what she had to offer. pause there ladies--did you hear that? she didn't stoop, make excuses, or lower her standards so that she wouldn't have to be alone. better yet, did you hear that gentlemen--if you were late for a date without calling, couldn't hold an intelligent conversation, or had no ambitions or passion, michelle wasn't going to wait around for you to get yourself together. and the thing is, she wasn't materialistic--she didn't expect for you to make the same amount of money she did, or have the same educational pedigree or familial background as she had. i'm sure you've heard that barack used to drive her around in a car with a hole rusted in the floor--and she smiled and watched the ground go by as they chatted. she knew to look for what really counted. . .and when she found it, she knew it! barack was trying to be the typical 'intelligent male' and would go on and on about how marriage was a superficial institution and all that really mattered was how they felt about each other--michelle wasn't trying to hear that. she let him know what she wanted and clearly she got it. (can you believe b thought he was going to get away with that? you betta put a ring on it!)
and he also jokes about how she told him that he couldn't take for granted that he had her vote for the presidency--she told him he'd have to earn it! he knows he can look to her for support, but that she's also going to tell it like it is. . .she is just as quick to yank off the rose-colored glasses as she is to rub his head after a long day. she's been criticized for being emasculating (code for not letting him play the victim or toot his own horn for too long), and it is kinda funny to hear him say things like 'yes, she said 'congratulations on becoming the first black president--you're taking the kids to school in the morning, right?'' or to see her check him in interviews ('umm, when was washing the dishes ever soothing for you??'). but you know when he lays down beside her at night he knows that her love is real, that when she says 'good job' she means it, and when she played mariah's 'hero' backstage before the election results that he really is her hero--and that ain't no small thing.
if you know like i know, you know that a lot of men need coddling. they don't care if they're really doing a good job as long as you tell them they are. they get defensive if you criticize them, they let their past issues keep them from present success, and some of them even get envious if you begin to outshine them. they love that 'she got her own' until 'her own' is more than theirs. forget dishwashing being soothing--they will cop an attitude if you ask them to do domestic work. they want to collect the gold stars and brag about being the man. . .but don't want to put in the work and don't want you to call them on it. if you point out ways they can improve, you're trying to 'change them' and if you don't support every pipe dream ('sweetie, i don't know if it's a good idea to quit your job and try to start a rap career at 40. . .') then you are an evil, nagging, dream crusher. sadly, many of the nasty stereotypes about black women come from our own brothers--the ones who couldn't recognize their michelle because she was wrapped in that hard exterior to protect herself from the world and they were too lazy to work to get to the softness in the middle, too complacent to let her help their shine, and too scared of having their player card revoked by their friends to settle down and build a family. there is something to be said and understood about the fact that she loves you the way you are. . .but loves you too much to leave you that way. every man is not going to be a barack in the sense of being the first black president, the first black editor of the harvard law review, or being able to speak to move crowds. . .but they can be more barack-like. recognize that you're not perfect and the woman you love knows that better than anyone, let her shine up your armor by pointing out the dents; come to her for the comfort that only she can give, but also come to her for the knowledge and understanding that she has that is different from yours; and be man enough to want to have to earn her love and respect. understand that if all she ever does is agree with you and tell you how great you are, she's doing you a huge disservice. pressure makes diamonds--not rubbing the coal with a gentle cloth.

housewives of atl--reunited!

soooooooooooo.
first, smooches to my girls who joined the 'virtual watch party' and to all of those who thought it was a cute idea but could only be there in spirit. lol.
now, i still haven't seen episode 7--i will catch a marathon and update the blog. i really only want to see it so can see mychael knight tell sheree about herself. what i was really looking forward to was the reunion show!! it was pretty juicy, huh?

preliminarily:

• wheeeeere did they get that goofy white man host?? was that some kind of joke?? the show would have been so much juicier with someone who would have instigated instead of reading the questions like they were poetry and trying to control the back and forth like it was a therapy session
• further, why do white people always think everyone needs to be friends?? if you find out someone is trifling and have a falling out, nothing obliges you to be friends with a trifling person! nene and kim may never be friends again. . .maybe they will. get over it, goofy white host.
  
• they are taking the georgia peach thing TOO far. those peaches on the table looked too random! and were those mimosas? none of the girls touched them until dwight, like maybe they thought they might have been poisoned. i mean, who really has time to sip bubbly when you have other things popping off!
• those questions were so random. i wish someone would have let me submit one or two.

the good stuff:

• hair check: kim-always a no. sheree-what was she thinking with that high ponytail AND the full swoop bang?? you can leave some weave in the bag honey. nene-love love the new cut and that color was sooo pretty. lisa-eh. her whole ensemble just seemed like she didn't really care about this reunion thing. and deshawn-she just tried to do too much i think. it was right at the cute level and she pushed it over into not that cute anymore. better luck next time
• kim: 1) i'm going to go ahead and say she's 39, she threw out that number like it was a joke, but it sounds more realistic than 29, soooo... 2) omg to her crocodile tears! whyy are you crying about the cancer that you don't have?? and yes, people do choose to wear wigs, hair pieces, etc. . .what are you talking about?? 3) heaven help us all if she really has an album to come out in january. please let that have been another one of her lies. 4) i told you guys a while ago that she would get dumped for not playing her position. and whyy did she lie as if there wasn't footage that shows her saying that big poppa asked not to be named?? we know you don't have any discretion, kim. that idea would not have come from you.
• deshawn: omg, o-m-g. she is cute and all, seems very sweet, and hasn't done anything to anyone but that child is SLOW! did you see her blank stares throughout the show?? she just sat with her hands neatly folded, smiling when she thought it was time, daydreaming about gaudy oscar statues. and the host really threw her off when he asked her a question outside of her designated 'segment'. they had to rescue her, she had already started flailing her feet in an effort to stall for time. poor thing. it doesn't help that she can't close her mouth bc of all the money and time she's invested in getting all of her top teeth to be the same size. you just want to hug her and send her back home. there, there shawni.
• sheree: umm, it's really like her to have ripped her oddly long, short sleeve sweater dress and have tried to play it off like it was fashion. . .so that's what i'm going to say happened. did anyone else notice the hole on her shoulder-neck area?? besides the fact that it was assymetrical and hole-looking, i kept waiting for her to move that 'tail so i could see the other side to see if maybe i was wrong--there wasn't a hole on the other side! i really think she tried to fool us! there was a hole in her dress! and how guilty do you sound when someone accuses you of being a gold-digger and you reply 'what is a gold digger?' puh. leez. lemme hand you a mirror. and she her groupie kim are such liars--she still can't even say with a straight face that it was an accident that nene was left off that party list. ugh, i cannot stand sheree.
• lisa aka 'i am the wrong one!' aka 'i will flip you over this couch, really'. i believe her!! besides the fact that she is diesel, she seems a little off. if i was kim, i'd be scared! kim seems not to have learned the cardinal rule of getting in fights with black girls--when they are mad, do NOT turn your back on them, you will get snatched by your hair and dragged to the ground--just bc you think it's over, doesn't mean it's over! anyway, i was less than impressed by lisa's outfit (but i see those boots!!), her makeup was pretty, but everything else left much to be desired. she was cute trying to hold nene back tho--that's a lot of woman to keep back, little lisa! and lol to her prescribing medication to kim! there is nothing wrong with kim that a good old fashioned beat down won't cure. . .too bad we know she'll sue (she's got to be on the hunt for something or someone to support her now that big poppa's gone). i was disappointed to have finally confirmed that she was the one who told about nene's song--but i was glad that she had already apologized and come clean to nene so the hyena sisters couldn't use that against her. and while i loved her reaction, who let the gay boy waste a question by asking about her sharing her husband??
• and saving the best for last, nene! she was full of quotables, some of my personal faves: "i'll see you outside" "i will wear that wig off your head" "close your legs to married men" "you trashy hooker" "give him my number though"(re anderson cooper's crush! how crazy is that? lol). anyway, nene brought the real, like we all knew she would. i wish she would have put kim on blast and said who big poppa really is. and i thought it was funny when she called kim on that 'chicken' thing and then proceeded to say 'we had lamb and shrimp, thank you very much' lol! and she definitely 'owned' that stripper thing. . .i don't know why people were suprised anyway, she was a single mother and it *is* atlanta where a significant population of women who haven't been formally educated see it as a viable means of putting food in their children's mouths.
  
• and i have to mention dwight (and how excited am i that he's getting his own show??) 1) why does his weave look better than kim's?? 2) he was really brave to put his hands in kim's hair. . .it looks like it smells and may have occupants 3) loved the way he came on the set and plopped himself between tweedle-lame and tweedle-liar and proceeded not to waste the liquor that had been sitting there all hour. lol

the better stuff:

• if you are like me you were waiting for a throwdown!! something happened on the set that made both lisa and her husband feel the need to 'clear the air' and talk to essence, among other things, denying allegations that lisa threatened to kill kim and that there was a restraining order. and we know lisa did not flip out and get that mad just from the allegations about the nene song. rumor has it that kim said that lisa was a "crack whore" and that's why she didn't have her kids. . .and that's what set her off.
• speaking of lisa's kids, i want to hear more about her abusive relationship with keith sweat. that man knows he's no good. . .
• it has also been said that all of the girls were asked to pose in playboy (can you imagine that job 'hey guys, i love the show! wanna get naked? no? a little naked??') but it seems only kim has agreed, and lisa kinda stabs at her when she says why she herself would never pose for playboy. don't you feel sorry for kim's daughters and their futures?
  
• there have been rumors that the house nene was in for the show was actually rented for the show (not that i can blame her for not wanting people in her real house, regardless of what it looks like!) and that she and her husband are having financial troubles. i wonder how that's going. . .

anyway, i'm ready for season 2!! this is such a guilty pleasure. . .

colorism in 2008

besides yung berg's recent proclamation about not dating 'dark butts', some real life events, and my watching an old movie where all the love interests were light-skinned, but not necessarily pretty, this is a topic that never seems to stay away long enough. i always longed for the day where people would see colorism as symbolic of the ravages of mental enslavement. where our people would realize that having lighter skin, a skinnier nose, or light eyes does not make you 'better', does not make your 'kids cuter' and doesn't mean you're prettier than your darker featured counterparts. i am admittedly biased in this discussion, i'm a cinnamony color (but will round up if you have a 'chocolate deluxe' wu tang shirt--i really want one!) that no one would consider light-skinned and am proud of it. i grew up around mostly white people so i didn't directly experience colorism as a child--either you were white or you weren't. there was no one to compare hair textures or skin color and make value judgments among the black kids. i somehow still picked up the 'white/light is right' idea at an early age and had to unlearn and unshackle myself. . .but that's a different story.
anyway, i just want to know what it's going to take for us to see each other as equally beautiful regardless of hue. when guys are going to stop saying 'you're pretty for a brown girl' or when my eyebrows will stop raising in shock when the love interest in a music video is a pretty brown girl (note i say 'love interest' and not booty shaker--brown girls have always been chosen to shake their booties and be sexualized). when is having features unique to black women (besides a large butt) going to be admired as much as having features that point to having white people in our recent ancestry? and why do we continue to legitimize their beauty standards while they themselves are going under the knife and spending thousands of dollars to look more like us??

**i wanted to update after i read the new newsweek with michelle obama on the cover. i feel a special appreciation for michelle (i can't wait to be able to meet her! and will definitely be saving her vogue cover when it comes out) and was secretly pleased the first time i discovered barack had a brown wife. i think she can do so much just by being herself and i'm so excited about the possibilities. the article featured an author chronicling her brunch discussions with her 'sister friends' about what michelle means to them, which i think is right on:

our conversation wandered into one area we seldom discuss, even among our families and closest confidantes. Michelle is not only african-american, but brown. real brown. in an era when beauty is often defined on television, in magazines and in moves as fair or white skin, long straight hair and keen features, michelle looks nothing like the supermodels who rule the catwalks or the porcelain faced actresses who hawk must-have cosmetics. yet now she's going to grace the march cover of vogue magazine--the ultimate affirmation of beauty.
who and what is beautiful has long been a source of pain, anger, and frustration in the african-american community. in too many cases, beauty for black women (and even black men) has meant fair skin, "good har" and dainty facial features. over the years, african-american icons likelena horne, dorothy dandridge, halle berry and beyonce--while beautiful and talented--haven't exactly represented the diversity of complexions and features of most black women in this country. that limited scope has had a profound effect on the self-esteem of many african-american women. . .

grown women and chris brown

i was reminded of this topic when i saw how chris brown had cleaned up at the amas: i was able to hold off until 'with you'. . .which is a long time if you think about it. but eventually i had to admit i had a grown woman crush on the barely legal chris brown. it just felt too cliche--can everyone really have a crush on this little boy?? it's not the same thing as my crush on chris paul (whom i affectionately refer to as my pyt), but it's still there. doesn't chris brown just put a smile on your face? he's so talented and sings with such passion about things that he probably shouldn't know about. and he stole my heart when he was on 'punk'd' and showed such protectiveness over his mommy. he's not really built--actually he's tall and lanky, kinda pale, and his teeth are a little big. . .but somehow you end up completely understanding the teeny boppers and their swooning! i even felt like i had to approve of his gf--it wouldn't have been okay for him to be booed up with anyone less than rhianna.
it's a really strange phenomenon--but come on ladies, 'fess up, you know have a grown woman crush on c-breezy!

book review: a mercy by toni morrison *spoiler alert*

another of my fiction exceptions is literary greats. . .how can you deprive yourself of toni morrison?
anway, so i bought this the day it came out, but i was wary because of her 'stream of consciousness', william faulkner-inspired writing style. you know what i mean, the style that made beloved a much better novel than a movie, because there was sooo much going on that couldn't be translated onto film. . .
anway, this book was very good! it was about slavery, but not really. . .and i love books that have a line in them that tells you where the title comes from. albeit, this one was at the end, but that's part of the 'magic'. the most important voice for the foundation and understanding of who i would call the main character was at the end. it was like all the pieces finally came together right in the last few pages.
the story is told in a few different viewpoints. as the chapter changes, so does the viewpoint. you have the white master/owner, his mail-order bride, and the rest of the 'family': lina--a native american, sorrow--a shipwreck survivor, and florens--the 'main character' whose mother offered her to the white man. this 'offering' is what shapes florens' personality and exposes her vulnerability. although florens is introduced to us as a potentially vulnerable character, you can forget about her vulnerabilities. . .until you can't. she is introduced as a slave child with the hands of a slave, but the feet of a portuguese lady--she has a thing for shoes and refuses to walk barefoot. there are also two white men--indentured servants--whom we learn about but don't really meet until you think all of the 'introductions' are done. there is also the blacksmith, who, while he doesn't have a 'chapter' is still an important character. he is both florens' shoes and shoes removed throughout the story (umm, is he alive and injured? or is he dead?).
the benefit of the time period of this story is that the idea of 'slavery united states' is still forming--the master, jacob vaark, doesn't like 'dealing in flesh' in there are other ways to make oneself rich. he is a kind, but pragmatic man when it comes to people and perhaps is given too much credit for being kind, when sometimes it is just pragmatism that he is displaying. anyway, instead of being a book about slavery, it is a book about several things, you are distracted from the idea of slavery (and it's not easy to distract someone like me from the idea of slavery!) with talk of other things--religion, death, smallpox, and character development--toni definitely makes you reach for scraps to form images of the characters. i still don't think i have even a muddy picture about what florens looks like.
i liked the book and would recommend it, but if i were to waste 3 wishes on this book, I would wish the book was longer, i wish for more character development, and i wish for a happy ending.
too bad t-mo's not a genie!!

book review: midnight by sister souljah *spoiler alert*

had i not been so excited about re-living my freshman year experience with my 3c girls and winter santiaga, i might have waited for some reviews of this book so that i would know what to expect. . .but i couldn't wait. i bought it the day it came out and began reading. i don't normally read fiction books (i'm planning a revolution, remember? besides, i get enough fiction and junk entertainment thrown at me on a regular basis anyway) but i make a few exceptions. this was one of them.
after reading sister souljah's explanation of her book, i realize that i went into it all wrong. it even took me until akemi's third or fourth appearance to remember that the subtitle of the book was 'a gangster love story'. i was hoping for a winter sighting somewhere before it ended, wondering how sister souljah was going to make him grow all the way up before the end of the book. i admit to calling it a 'sequel' to coldest winter ever once or twice. all that to say, i have always liked sister souljah's writing--clear and descriptive, word choice very deliberate, but i can't say i loved this book.

• i HATED the pictures--the little boy that they have pictured throughout this book is not what my mind says midnight looks like. part of the intrigue of the intial character is that he looked different to every woman who read it. you can't ruin that with pictures of a boy who is far from fine! if she would have let me imagine akemi for myself, she too would have been way more beautiful than the girl in the pictures. but nooooo!
• also, despite the fact that this little boy had been exposed to things that made him wise beyond his years, by no stretch of the imagination is this book about a 14 year old. it is too hard to imagine midnight as a 14 year old knowing, doing, and seeing all that he does. nearly impossible. i had to make up my own age for him to avoid the cognitive dissonance that would have resulted from me trying to make him 14
• i did appreciate how well researched the cultures in the book were. you can tell that sister souljah spent time researching the various cultures and religions presented and took deliberate care in delivering the descriptions to her audience--sometimes to the point of overkill, but still a nice touch. i absolutely love the idea of a male being so protective of the women in his life and of how the early influence of a father and other strong males can be so important and influential.
  
• i didn't like the way black american females were portrayed in this book. ss says she was trying to show black women that they had to be 'more' and have more to compete with in this global economy, but the point was lost on me. not one of the black american females midnight comes across is anything other than exaggeration and caricature. the one he does take the time to interact with, 'bangs', deserves a story of her own--i especially didn't like how ss left it in the air and let midnight get away with being able to judge bangs for being a victim of incestuous rape. it is still lost on me how midnight can think it worth the trouble to communicate his religion and way of life with someone he can't even verbally communicate with or understand, but thought it was a waste of time to try to educate any of the black females he came across. he even chose akemi over sudana--who understood him, his culture, and his religion perfectly. it is as if ss is giving black men an excuse to not want to date or marry the women who are more like them, like she's giving them an excuse to be embarassed and/or flee from what the type of women who shaped them. or maybe she is trying to tell black women to be more submissive and quiet? i'm lost. . .
  
• it is wholly unrealistic for someone to fall in love and marry someone whom they have seen no more than 10 times and can't communicate with without an interpreter. this relationship is far too mature. . .then, as if to simplify it all, when they finally do get married, it seems like they just rushed to get married so midnight could feel okay about having sex with her. their relationship couldn't really deepen because they still can't talk to each other, now they are simply playing charades and having sex in his mother's apartment. and it creeped me out when his mother talks about akemi glowing now that they've had sex. furthermore, the last thing they need is to have a baby!
  
• most of all, i don't like books that aren't full stories. you have 498 pages--tell me a full story. end in a period and not an ellipse. it's not fair. if you want to write another book to pick up where this one ended, fine. . .but end this one! she didn't even have the decency to tell us what the letter said or even what happened to his father (btw, were his other wives just thrown out on the street? no one said anything about them coming to the united states)

anyway, i suppose i'll be stuck reading the next one, whenever it comes out--maybe. i mean, part of me wants to know what happens next, but part of me never took the relationship seriously enough to care about what happens to it. maybe if the next one starts with akemi being able to speak english. . .or even arabic, i will feel like reading it.

musings on housewives. episodes 5 & 6

since i got played last week and couldn't watch the re-airing of the show during my normal time, i had to watch last week's episode and this week's episode back to back--it was like feeding an addiction! even after watching two episodes, i didn't want it to go off! i can't believe next week is the last episode :( but i heard there is going to be d-r-a-m-a at the reunion show! so at least i have that to look forward to!
anyway, i might get the episodes mixed up, but here are my thoughts:

• i know people have showed me 'documentation' that kim is really 29, but i'm still not believing it--i know 'white cracks', but botox every 6 months from the time you're 24?? okay kim, you might have been getting botox for 5 years, but at least concede that you were older than 24 5 years ago. have mercy. and what is with white women acting like botox is candy or something--are you gonna get some? you should try it!
  
• i ♥ nene's gbf, with his 'prettiest feet he's ever seen on a man'. . .he is full of classics. 'what do you call a fashion show with no fashion? nuthin'. . .i call it nuthin' lol! hilarious. . .
• speaking of which. . .why was sheree trying to act like she wasn't embarassed by the lack of fashion at her fashion show. umm, if you're not embarassed, you should be! if you were having a party or an art exhibition, call it that. . .not a fashion viewing. also, i am SO mad at her for patting herself on the back like she was spending her own money to do this line--umm, where did you work to earn said money? it is your husband's money that is funding this line, sweetie.
• i also want to know if sheree's daughter ever got her piece of apple. . .i've already mentioned that i'm nervous that these kids are being traumatized by their mothers' narcissm, but i really worry about sheree's kids.
  
• i know we all see it in our every day lives. . .but this show makes it so clear that some people never mature past high school. maybe if they actually had lives and business there wouldn't be so much gossiping and foolishness, but then again, there wouldn't be a show either. lol. kim and sheree are the worst wanna-be mean girls ever--and i think of deshawn as that dumb blonde girl from the movie. she just seems slow to me.
  
• i really want to know who told sheree about nene's drunk song (nene was SO into her song though, we even got a direct look into the camera! and dare i say she sounded better than kim!). to me, the obvious choice was deshawn, besides the fact that i think she has no business and just wants to create some, lisa seems so anti-drama. i know i'm biased, but she just doesn't seem like the type to turn around and quote the drunk song to sheree, knowing it would get back to kim. so of course deshawn's actions, trying to fix everything afterward just seemed guilt-driven (btw, kim is SO wrong for hanging up the phone on her!). but by the end of the episode, i wasn't really sure. . .say it ain't so lisa!
  
• the husbands are pretty funny to me. . .nene's poor husband just gave up on trying to keep her under control after a while, and i really like lisa and ed's relationship--they seem like such good friends and he follows the girl drama so well!
• lol to lisa swimming in her coverup. . .without getting her face in the water so she wouldn't mess up her makeup
  
• kim. oh kim. 1) big girls don't send text messages! if you have something to say, at least call! you know you only get 160 characters in a text message--your attempt to tell nene about herself loses its force by the 4th screen. 2) cat doesn't have a k in it. . .forget the abc's of music, you need to learn the abc's, period. 3) nene is right. . .you aren't friends with dallas austin, big poppa is! he is cordially nice to you out of the fact that his pockets are being padded while you tone-deafly mumble through studio time and because he can get a little tv time while doing so (ps-is it just me, or is rosa mexicana SO overrated). 4) it goes without saying, so i didn't want to say it, but i just have to emphasize how much kim cannot sing--boo to her groupie sheree for saying her singing in the car sounded good (and where did she get that glass of wine she had in the car?? it wasn't even a red cup, it was a real wine glass!) 5) i did not need to know that you don't wear panties. . .neither did the rest of the world--you have daughters! it's time for some discretion. . .we could all look at you and tell you were classless and trashy, no need for specifics. maybe nene is right. . .maybe your wig is too tight!
  
• umm, why did you guys fumble through taking that little boat to an island. . .and then complain about everything that makes an island?? 'omg eww is that a clam?' 'eww, there's sand blowing on me!' 'ugh. the sun!' what exactly did you think you would find when you got to the island??
• poor deshawn's little fundraiser with the gaudy oscars is going to be the running joke of the show!
  
• i don't think i've said it before, but i LOVE the purple dress nene wears in her little intro scene. . .someone tell me where to get it!
• speaking of nene, i know she's earned a place in people's hearts because she makes them laugh. . .but after finding out more about her life, do you get the feeling that she's a 'laugh to keep from crying' type of person? i wonder if maury has called to offer to have her on his show yet. . .

oh ladies.

we're not done yet!

i had been hearing whispers even before election day about what a 'president obama' would mean for america. . .outside of ending the past 8 years of turmoil, what would it mean for race relations? i had heard jokes about white people voting for him out of guilt, as their sort of atonement for slavery and how they would feel pardoned if he won. then i read this article by one of my least favorite black people, john mcwhorter, and it made me think even more. i am afraid of what this election means to those who don't truly understand. . .yes, jfk predicted that this would happen, but while this says something about race relations, it doesn't say much about racism. barack obama being president does not mean racism is dead. i repeat, racism is still alive and well.
how do i know? i live it every day, i watch it on the news. . .and i watched this campaign. i watched the way barack had to tread carefully over certain issues, how he couldn't get too angry for fear of appearing like the angry menacing black man of the stereotypes, how he couldn't stoop to mccain's level of mudslinging--even if he had wanted to, how he had to be 10 times smarter than his opponent--who still won too many states simply off the strength of being white, his wife had to be 10 times more on point, his kids 10 times cuter. i know you all got the email comparing the credentials of the candidates then asked if the race would even be close if barack was white. i'm sure you've heard the rumblings that barack is the antichrist (as a matter of fact it's a suggested google search if you search his name!) or that he is muslim and/or a terrorist (because evidently they are the same thing).
i also wondered how much barack's complexion played a role in this election. . .i wonder if america would have been ready for a mandigo chocolate type of brotha, or if barack's half whiteness was needed to sooth anxieties.
another thing that john mcwhorter seems to miss in his article is that, although we can't control individuals and their private racist thoughts, it is dangerous for those in power situations to have those thoughts--thoughts turn to actions and actions turn into discrimination. . .or worse. i mean, i don't care if you hate black people, as long as that hate stays confined in your little brain and household. i digress. . .
anyway, what this doesn't mean:

• that just because this black person can reach the top of his career that the rest of us can too--the glass ceiling is still a reality
  
• he will be welcomed with open arms all over this nation or others,
  
• every little black boy or girl who aspires to be president will be able to do so,
  
• the next white president will have to be half as qualified as barack,
  
• barack won't encounter racism and hatefulness just because he's black
• that barack's bar to meet isn't higher than mccain's would have been and that people aren't waiting for him to fail so they can say 'i told you so'
• that the stereotypes won't abound and we won't have to hear speculations about him offering chicken, greens, and watermelon at official functions or that people will expect him to show up on 'cp time'
• reparations for slavery have been paid or affirmative action is no longer needed
  
• it doesn't mean that on november 5, 2008, racial profiling ceased to exist. or if barack obama was driving alone in the right parts of the country that he wouldn't get pulled over for being that dark kinda light, fat kinda skinny, tall kinda short, black male suspect. or that if he had on a hat and sunglasses an was walking alone, some white woman wouldn't clutch her purse as he passed.
• that they will leave him alone now. . .let the character assailing begin.
  

sigh, the list could go on, but i just hate the implication that all is well with the world and race relations now that this amazing black man is in the white house. however, on a happier note, what it does mean:

• there are black role models in the white house--a real cosby show, almost!
• they are positioned to help get rid of some of the negative stereotypes that plague our community
• the blogs and news will talk about them as much as, if not more than the smoked out, rehab-comfy celebrities that currently sweep the news coverage
• it has made, as whoopi put it, black people feel like we could finally put down our suitcases and finally call this place home. black people finally feel like part of the political process, like this president can actually speak for them.
  
• they have shown that the nice guy can finish last and that 'you can pay for school but you can't buy class'. . .and class speaks for itself
• michelle shows black women everywhere that you can balance career, a loving 16-year relationship, 2 well behaved kids, a nice shape, and a cute wardrobe. . .all while wearing a smile, but never losing touch with reality

this election was inspirational, broke a lot of barriers, and changed history books. . .but let's not pretend like it transported us to a country free of racism, that wasn't founded on the premise of white supremacy. it is progress. . .not the end goal. maybe one day. . .

the doubly disadvantaged

the issue of sex and race have been at the forefront of this past election. never before have we had the experience of having a black person and a woman named to both of the major party tickets in this country at the same time. while i was observing the celebrations of president obama's historic victory and reflecting on the fact that he earned 95% of the black vote, i was thinking about that crazy black woman from the democratic primaries who was crying about hillary's loss and saying she may not vote for the first time since she's been 18. without reliving the incredulity of the moment, i was moved to consider black women and their allegiances. we've been branded the "doubly disadvantaged" for being both a racial and sexual minority--the double layered glass ceiling, if you will. and i've had several interesting conversations with people about whether they consider themselves black first or a woman first.
personally, it has never been a hard decision for me--while my ancestors were being beaten and lynched, white women were sitting sipping lemonade on their slave-owner daddy's porches, sure they had their own issues, but far removed from the pains of being black in this nation founded on the premise of white superiority. this was made even clearer when i got to ivy league law and easily interacted with other black law students (despite our various cultural and social backgrounds and the fact that i was one of only about 4 hbcu grads there during my whole 3 year experience), but never found myself throwing myself into the activities, causes (sure we needed a more diverse faculty--but i had trouble complaining about the fact that there were only 20 women professors, when i knew there were only 2 black ones), or meetings of the women's association. as far as i could tell, many of the white women were no more like me than their male counterparts, with the exception of a few body parts. i know of 2 people who seemed as involved in blsa as in the women's association and i was duly fascinated by their ability to do so.
you see, it's not that i ever for a second underestimate the struggles associated with being a woman. i know it's hard and i know we've had to fight for our rights and the ability to sit at the table with the big boys. . .but i also know that i have womanly struggles and stereotypes that are unique to black women.
historically, black women were forced to put their 'women issues' on the back burner for the advancement of the race--we knew that the men would have to be able to walk through the door first and we were counting on them to bring them with us. the struggle for voting rights, for example, would have taken much longer if we had insisted on all of us having them at the same time. many black women have learned to see the uplifting of our race in tandem with the uplifting of "us" in general.
all this to say, i suspect this is why mccain didn't sway as many black women with the 'palin choice'--we can easily look at her and not see ourselves. and i was wondering 1) how hillary would have gone about wooing the black women voters--or if she would have taken us for granted, would it have been because of our democraticness or because of our womanness and 2) would black woman have been celebrating in the streets the way white women surely would have been at the announcement of a hillary presidential victory?

yes we did!

as one paper put it, "the united states decisively elects its first black president". words cannot describe how i feel. . .or the outpouring of energy all over the nation--especially in black neighborhoods. this isn't just about what we know mr. president will do for this nation, it's about the way history books will look from now on, it's about the inspiration for little black girls and little black boys. . .and black families, and it's about nice guys finishing first and what happens when we all come together. don't you have chills??

• i don't have the mean feeling toward mccain that i've had for these past 21 months after hearing his speech
  
• i felt like mlk jr was there (again) while listening to barack's speech. and how awe-inspiring is it that we can say that this man was elected, not for the color of his skin, but for the content of his character. (and aww to michelle being his best friend of 16 years. i'm so in love with their love)
• speaking of michelle--she is going to be the classiest thing to ever live in the white house. it is SUCH deliciously sweet icing on the cake that she is going to be our first lady. take that all you negative stereotypes about black women!
• speaking again of michelle--her fashion is so hit or miss these days--we need to get her a gbf. . .i didn't love her dress last night. at. all.
• i can hardly wait to see sasha and malia playing on the lawn with their new puppy!
• can you believe that he won florida AND virgina?? and he got more popular votes in nc. . .and for the first time in lord knows how long, even texas and south carolina were really close right up until the end! it is nothing short of amazing. maybe, as my friend overheard someone say last night, "God must be a democrat"
• food for thought. . .do we pay for our president? i know you got all those emails asking for money and saying how important money is to the campaign and what they are able to do. i'm not talking about time and effort (yay to everyone who made the grassroots thing a success--it was no easy task!), but money. if we hadn't given barack money, would he have still won?
  
• after all is said and done, maybe we should thank dubya for screwing everything up so royally. the old folks say 'nothing changes until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing'. . .thanks to dubya, people were so pained that, in a country where they are still lynching people and racism is still alive and well, people were willing to give a black man the chance to make us better.

i think i will remember the tears, the screams, the love, the unity, and the overall uplifting feeling of last night forever. . .where were you when it happened??

ps--i would so love it if all of my friends could be at the inauguration speech. try to get tix! go here and find your representative, call them and ask to be put on their list!

yes we can!

ugh!

sooooo. . .i was all caught up in the moment, euphoric even, as i rode the train to work this morning. it was amazing to see so many of my people with their 'i voted' stickers on and to think about how even in this dreary weather, eeearly in the morning, the polling sites probably looked like a black family reunion. i've heard people cried, danced, sang and everything else. . .just happy that this moment is even possible. i was taking all of this in and was on the verge of tears when my thoughts were interrupted.
'come sit down chloe' 'NO!!' i looked to my left and saw this little skinny blonde 3 year old screaming at her father and eluding his grasp to go swing from the pole in the middle of the train car (i know lots of fathers who make it their life goal to keep their daughter off the pole. . .but i digress). she is flinging her hair and just having the best time ever while her parents use their 'stern voice': 'chloe stop swinging your hair' 'chloe come sit down' 'chloe people are trying to get by you' 'chloe if you do that one more time you're going to come sit on my lap'. o. . .m. . .g.
each one of these 'admonitions' was met with a shriek from this little blonde peace-invader. it was just too much! i was waiting to see one of the parents snatch her by her hair and sit her down. . .or at least (as the bf says) chop her in the throat. lol
for comparison, i looked around to see the little black kids and their reaction to the 'chloe show'. they would look at her, then up at their parents. depending on the age of the child, the parent would give the 'don't you even think about trying that later' look; or, for the more seasoned children, they would share a knowing glance and shake their heads.
i mean, what in the WORLD is going on?? are you really going to let your child tell you what she is and isn't going to do? and let her ruin the tranquility of the train by shrieking and screaming whenever she feels like it while you look on in admiration? worst of all, this poor child (it is taking a lot for me to refer to her as such, since she ruined my blissful moment) will grow up and people will not like her. she will be spoiled and incorrigible and she won't understand why she doesn't have friends and people don't like to be around her. so not only are you doing the train passengers a disservice, you are doing your child a disservice when you let her do and say whatever comes to her pretty little head.
ugh.

musings on housewives. episode 4

so beyond the fact that it's getting hard to find new pictures of the group, i think lisa deserves a solo shot because she is my favorite. i've told people from the beginning how i like her because 1) she seems the most genuine and the least showy 2) she actually works and seems to understand the value of a dollar more than the others and 3) she seems to have actual friends and not be obsessed with the 'lifestyle' she has been afforded. i mean, we had two episodes revolving around deshawn's auction and it didn't even do well, whereas lisa shows her 'don't speak about it, be about it' attitude and sneaks up on us with a jewelry trunk show that lands her an even bigger opportunity and a photo shoot with derek blanks--which she killed! (shout out to derek, btw, for doing those yummy photo shoots of fellow howardite, lance gross). lisa is a hustler, homie!
other thoughts:

• did anyone else not feel sorry for deshawn as she dramatically fled to her bedroom and sobbed in her palatial estate? 1) she doesn't do anything, she has this one event and still feels the need to hire an event planner--umm, aren't you supposed to be the event planner? 2) she spent $30,000 on an event at her house--she didn't even have to rent space, just gaudy oscar statues for outside! then she put 'invites' on countertops in the mall--inviting all of pookie n'em to have free food and drinks at an nfl star's house. . .and was crying because no one bid on her stuff! that was just a party for them--nene and mark hayes (why did they call him by his full name the whole time) were just distracting background noise 3) out of all those dresses, she chose that one to wear?? 4) her husband needs to reign her in in general, or they will be broke in no time.
• kim is as fake and funny looking as her hair. how is nene her best friend and the light of her daughter's life one week then the next week she feels the same way about sheree and nene. . .and is a straight up sheree groupie?? puh-leez.
• umm, is it just me or does sheree have some HUGE hands. . .i'm not ready to say she's a man yet, but imma keep an eye on her. lol
• nene's gbf is off the hook. . .i was so mad at him telling her son 'be you. . .pick what you like' and then saying 'eww, you like that?? that's dreadful' to everything the boy picked out--while trying to turn him into a mini-me and delicately fingering the pink fabrics.
• but lol to him being right about deshawn's auction--he looked like he had smelled something foul when he said 'it's free??? how she expect to make any money like that??'
• kids: what do these women do with their kids while they're out gallavanting?? it seems like those babies see their mothers on tv more than they do in real life!
• umm, lisa's husband has a 'donk. lawdamercy to the red speedo (and lol to lisa like 'you can't just be showing it to everyone! that's mine!')
• someone please tell me what nene has against a bra. . .
  

november 5th etiquette

from an e-mail i received (i like #12--can't you just see that??):

To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:


1. No crying, hugging or shouting 'Thank you Lord' - at least not in public

2 No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses

3 No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters

4 No calling in sick on November 5th. They'll get nervous if too many of us don't show up. (Try to be on time and not your normal late arrival)

5 We're allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.

6. No singing loudly, We've come this Far By Faith (it will be acceptable to hum softly)

7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chitterlings at all) (this may make us seem too ethnic)

8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)

9. No Cupid Shuffle or Electric Slide during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)

10. Please no Moving on Up music (we are going to try to remain humble)

11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you're in your office with the door closed)

12. Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!

13. Just in case you're wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.


If I've missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to
make sure we're all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home
on November 5th.


Now go get your early vote on, drive your cousins to the polls and let's make this thing happen!!!

Like Chris Rock said on Larry King Live last month. If white people need anything done from a Black person on Wednesday Nov 5, 2008 they're wasting their time cause' aint' nothing gettin' done

scared yet?

so we're 6 days away from this historical election--6 days from no more polls, no more commercials, no more mudslinging, and best of all, no more worrying whether people are falling for the okie doke that is mccain/palin.
somehow, life after november 4 seems a little surreal--a kind of, 'now what?'
over the past few days i've heard a few people express fear--i mean, we aren't surprised that the voting machines are acting up (we've seen that before), we know the republicans are shady as ever when they're desperate, and we know that mccain sounds a little too ominous and confident when he says he's sure he's going to win but what we're really secretly afraid of is whether our beloved b-rack will make it to inauguration day.
b-rack is, as always, as cool as the other side of the pillow. he seems to have all the confidence in the world in the secret service and even seems to laugh in the face of the danger--calling these skinhead groups marginalized and saying they aren't really representative of anything at all. but with all of the news about the latest plot on his life, and so close to election day, the initial fear that many black people felt when he first started emerging as a viable candidate is coming back. is america--even the craziest parts--ready for a black president? and how many people are there who are willing to kill him rather than see him run this country? we have seen how mccain rallies look like kkk meetings and heard mccain back his 'patriotic supporters' as they yell 'kill him'--is it naive to think these people will stick to chanting and pouting if--wait, when (yes we can!) mccain loses?
i have said before that i think the black community would feel especially guilty if anything happened to barack--we have been a little nervous from the beginning, our history is filled with moments of watching the ones who stand too tall get chopped down, but we shook that off and pushed him because of all he stands for and hope that this is the 'brighter day' we longed for. i guess we're supposed to take our cue from the man himself--if he's not scared, then we shouldn't let our fears dampen our support. . .after all, there has never been anything false about hope ;)
*prayers for barack, michelle, sasha, and malia*

sigh.

i thought they had caught that old mean, no good short kinda tall, dark kinda light, fat kinda skinny black man after he stole susan smith's kids. . .i guess i was wrong. this poor girl was brutally attacked at an atm in pittsburgh by the same guy!
i mean, i thought the girl was stupid because she was a mccain supporter. . .but it gets better. she not only carves the 'b' that's supposed to stand for barack into her face the wrong way (and would you really lay still enough for an attacker to carve a perfect 'b' into your face??), but she forgets that atms have surveillance and so one of the worst places to make up something like this is at a place like that.
and at the end of the day, what was she really trying to do or prove?? i think she should apologize to all black men. . .
and it has been said that mccain should issue some kind of statement about this incident--but we all know he thinks his supporters are the 'most patriotic' americans and doesn't want anyone saying otherwise. phooey.

musings on housewives. episode 3

so i'm blaming my p-in-i for missing the original airing of the show this week and also for my catching the re-run last night (thanks, boo!) unfortunately once again i have to talk about kim.
this lesson is called 'play your position'. by now it is common knowledge that kim is a jump off. her big poppa is some man with a family somewhere (i guess in atl, but does that mean his actual housewife was too boring to make the show?). here she is on tv, trying to get her 15 secs and is about to blow the level of comfort her jump off status has entitled her to. although the man said he didn't want to be named and so she isn't naming him, you know that if you dangle the bait, the fish will bite. people are going crazy trying to find out who 'big poppa' is. . .all because they don't want us to know. if he gets discovered kim is going to be in trouble. for what? not playing her position. jump offs are not housewives (umm, why didn't the editors catch this? how did a jump off end up on a show about housewives??) and are supposed to be quiet and exercise discretion. i would direct her to the joe budden song, 'pump it up' for instructions on what a jump off is supposed to do. i mean, she was smart enough to get a ballin' 'big poppa' but she's got to know how to keep him.
other thoughts:

• sheree is a hater and seems a tad miserable
  
• nene needs a bra
• i'm mad nene laughed like kim was telling a joke when she was talking about her singing career
  
• nene really told the psychic 'shet up girl'. . .lol
  
• kim's weave is older than 29--why did she look dead in the camera and lie to us--suuuure you're 29. . .plus 8
  
• lol @ record deals for people who hum--but forreal, if you want credibility as a singer, start at home. why don't your friends know you sing?
• why does nene's boo look like he could be her daddy--paternity problem solved!
• i want to go to a make up bar!
  
• why is sheree so self-important??
• lol @ tardy for the party--are those songs the actual makings of a hit record? imma need dallas to get that under control
  
• why did nene act like kim was talking about a 3-headed monster when kim said sheree was pretty? 'really??' lol! i mean, i don't like sheree at all. . .but she didn't deserve that!
  
• i loooove the gbf! that crisp pink shirt. . .you betta do it!
  
• why did nene let aun-tee go on tv looking like a clown =/ (but she looked good for 80, huh?)

stay tuned for next week--by then the world will have discovered who big poppa is! too bad it won't affect the show =/